NYADA state of mind
by Dark Lunatic
Summary: Rachel Berry has dreamed of Broadway since childhood and she wants it more than anything. She gets a head start when she is accepted in the New york academy of Dramatic Arts. Along the way she finds her mother, friendship and true love. AU. Jesse doesn't live in Ohio and he doesn't meet Rachel until NYADA.
1. NYADA

_**Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own glee or Finn would be freezing to death in the North pole right now. **_

**NYADA **

**Chapter 1**

Rachel Berry stood backstage as the opening number to Evita blasted through the speakers, it was her opening night and she was both terrified and excited.

She felt her stomach flutter nervously and clenched her hands into tight fists,

She looked onto the stage from her position on the wings and saw Sebastian belting out "Oh what a circus"; he had been in the year above her at NYADA and nothing but a nuisance. But he had grown on her and he was certainly a fast friend of Jesse and Blaine.

Kurt loathed him with a slightly obsessive passion and Rachel could hardly blame him, it had to be heart breaking having the guy you are in love with chasing after another guy. Rachel sighed; she couldn't discuss the mess that is Klaine right now, it was far too complicated.

Rachel peered out at the audience and saw Jesse grinning in the front row; he was currently playing Jack in the revival of Into the woods. It wasn't a particularly large role but he had wanted to play it since childhood.

She smiled thinking of the journey that lead up to this, all the hurt, love, pain and work that had been the greatest time of her life.

_So far…_

* * *

_Three years earlier_

Rachel marched down the halls of McKinley high with a gleam in her eye and a spring in her step.

"Hey babe, lookin good" Mercedes said cheerfully as she caught up with Rachel's quick strut.

"Feeling good, Mercedes" she said confidently

"This is amazing. Ever since glee club won sectionals everyone looks at us differently" Mercedes grinned as Kurt joined them.

"I wanna be with you Rachel" Jacob Ben Israel wheezed. She smiled smugly

"We're glitterati. I feel like lady Gaga" Kurt breathed

"Well get used to it guys, we're stars now. On par with all the jocks and popular kids. Oh it's the dawn of a new era here at McKinley and we are gonna rule this school" She finished and a florescent blue slushes was flung at her face.

"Ohh, welcome to loser town" Karosky sneered

"Population, you" another thuggish football player mocked behind them.

Rachel sighed with resignation and allowed Kurt to drag her into the girls' toilets.

* * *

Rachel walked into Glee club in a fresh set of clothes and immediately sat down next to Finn who smiled awkwardly at her. She was about to comment when Mr Schue entered carrying a stack of expensive looking brochures. He set them down on the top of the piano and turned to the club.

"Who here has heard of the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts" He said and Rachel's hand shot up along with Kurt's.

"Rachel"

"NYADA is the number one school for performing arts in the world, it has sponsors that are major Broadway legends like Barbra Streisand, Patti LaPone and Bernadette Peters, and It's like the promise land for all Broadway fans"

"Great Rachel. Now NYADA is a high school but it starts in your junior year and also includes a freshman year at college. You would learn more in a year there than you would in all four years at a college like Julliard"

"Why are you telling us this" Quinn whined nasally, while rubbing her stomach.

"Because anyone who wants to audition can, tomorrow morning I'm taking anyone who wants to audition to the Akron Community theatre to audition."

A few people start murmuring at the opportunity to miss school.

Mr Schuster started to hand out brochures. Rachel took one absentmindedly while she flicked through her Barbra Streisand music book.

The New York Academy of Dramatic Arts wouldn't know what hit them.

* * *

Rachel stood with the rest of New Directions and some other hopefuls, at the local community theatre in Akron, fidgeting with the edge of her knee length black dress.

She looked across the room and saw Santana and Brittany draped over Finn. She glared, it was like ever since she and Finn had gotten together, they had been doing their best to break them. Maybe Quinn had asked them to break them up. She wouldn't put it past her.

Finn detached himself and awkwardly shuffled over.

"Rachel can we talk" Finn said, while concentrating very hard on the beige wall behind her.

"Sure" she said warmly

"I don't think I want to be your boyfriend" he said quickly his eyes anywhere but hers.

"What?" she stuttered

"Rachel you're really awesome, but I think I need to connect with my inner rockstar, before I can fully commit to one woman, I need to find out who I am now"

"I'll tell you who you are, you're a scared little boy; you're afraid of dating me because you think it might hurt your reputation, though which you would never admit is very important to you. You hate what Quinn did to you not just because it hurt but because it was so humiliating" she ranted

"Your freaking me out, it's like you're inside my head right now"

"I just see you for who you are, unlike you who can only see me as this, this silly girl who made a fool of herself in her first glee club rehearsal, and that's where you lose Finn because if you take a second look at me you'd realise that I'm the only one that knows you and accepts you for who you are no matter what." She choked through her tears before storming into the bathroom.

Meer moments later Kurt entered.

"Hi, are you okay, you left so suddenly"

"Finn dumped me" she cried, Kurt looked sympathetic but also hopeful

"Come on let's get you cleaned up" he said and pulled her over to the sinks and began to redo her makeup.

Five minutes later, Rachel was cleaned up and they entered the Auditorium to see Finn singing "Hello I love you" with an arrogant grin on his face. Rachel glared, wasn't he even a little bit sad to be no longer her boyfriend.

She was pulled out of thoughts by Kurt pulling her into the seat between him and Mercedes.

Finn finished and a woman in her twenties stood up and dismissed him. Rachel recognized her as Elizabeth Darcy the vocal coach of the musical theatre program at NYADA.

She looked down out at her clipboard and called out "Rachel Berry"

Rachel shakily stood up squeezed Kurt's hand and made her way up to the stage.

She walked to centre stage and announced "Hi I'm Rachel Berry and I'm going to be singing the final to the Broadway classic Funny girl"

Mrs Darcy nodded and Rachel began

_Oh, my man, I love him so, he'll never know_

_All my life is just despair, but I don't care_

_When he takes me in his arms _

_The world is bright, all right_

_What's the difference if I say I'll go away_

_When I know I'll come back on my knees someday_

_For whatever my man is_

_I am his forevermore_

_Oh, my man, I love him so, he'll never know_

_All my life is just despair, but I don't care_

_When he takes me in his arms_

_The world is bright, all right_

_What's the difference if I say I'll go away_

_When I know I'll come back on my knee someday_

_For whatever my man is_

_I am his forevermore_

As Rachel finished her song she had tears in her eyes and was panting slightly. She had closed her eyes on the final verse and as she opened them she saw a gaping audience including Mrs Darcy

"Thank you" She said as she made her way back to her seat.

* * *

_1 hour later_

As the New Directions left the Auditorium Mr Schue called out "Huddle up guys"

"Alright you all did amazingly and I think you could all get to the call-backs in New York. Now the letters are going to be sent to the school so were all going to open them together"

* * *

_1 Month later_

"Alright guys we're going take a little break from our home projects" Mr Schue said "I have the acceptance or rejection letters for the NYADA call-backs in New York and you can come try out for the other subjects like music, drama, fashion design and dance"

Mr Schue handed everyone their letter accept Tina and Artie who were a year to young

Rachel shifted under Finn's arm to take her letter. Finn had apparently released that he wanted to be with her after the rejection of Santana and Brittany.

She felt Finn tighten his grip on "Shit" he cursed "I didn't get in" he stood up and kicked the wall.

Rachel looked up to see everyone-else had all opened theirs.

"Did anyone get in" she asked timidly

"I did, so did Gay Hummel and Aretha" Santana scowled

Rachel opened her letter and scanned it.

_Dear Ms Rachel Berry_

_We are pleased to tell you that you are one of the lucky 700 people chosen for call-backs in New York. _

_Your school's chosen chaperone will be escorting you and any other fortunate students at your school to New York where you can also audition for other subjects like Drama, fashion design, music (orchestra, not vocal) and Dance. _

_If you make it in to the top 20 you will pair up with another top 20 finalist and sing a duet, dance and act with chosen partner, you will also sing a solo._

_Upon arrival in New York you will have 1 day to Prepare for your audition and should arrive in the grand theatre of NYADA on 42__nd__ street._

_Congratulations and good luck_

_From the New York Academy of Dramatic arts administration office_

Rachel beamed if this works out her future will have so much hope in it. If you're good enough for NYADA, your good enough for Broadway_. _

But is she?


	2. An Audition to remember

_**Disclaimer: still don't own glee or smash **_

**NYADA **

**Chapter 2**

"Call us as soon as you check into your hotel" Rachel's father Hiram lectured worriedly

The weeks had flashed by quickly. It had been mere days since a humiliating loss at regionals and now it was finally time for the New York call-backs.

"Yes Daddy"

"And sweetie, remember we do believe in you but if you don't get a call-back, then it's not the end of the world. Try and Audition for the other subjects just in case…" her other father Leroy trailed off sadly.

"Rachel, we need to go" Mr Schue called from the train.

"Don't worry, It'll be great" She said as she hugged them "I'll call when I check in" she said as she jumped onto the train.

She walked down the corridor and found the New Directions. All though all but four of the group, actually had a call-back, they decided to come 'support' them and enjoy a week in New York. A remarkable amount of the New Directions were auditioning for other subjects. As far as she knew Finn barely had an interest in singing, let alone acting and the idea of him in fashion was laughable. Music maybe but the chances of him being that good on the drums were very narrow.

Artie and Tina weren't even eligible to audition- since they were a year young-but they were still here.

Up until two months ago Santana would happily insult musical theatre to the ends of the world and yet here she was with a call-back. Must be some desperate attempt for fame or something.

Brittany, Mike and Matt were all genuinely trying for dance and Rachel was considering trying that herself, just in case.

But Rachel was only trying musical theatre or theatre. While she loved and excelled at dance and could play piano reasonably well, she couldn't imagine a career without ether music or acting.

_No_ Rachel thought with venom, she was made for Broadway, if she doesn't get into NYADA then she'll finish high school and go to Julliard or Tisch.

The train ride dragged on slowly as Rachel watched the rest of her club laughing at some unknown joke, it seemed it was always like this, she was on the outside looking in until they include for a few hours to win them a show-choir competition and even then it was begrudgingly.

When they finally reached New York, Rachel couldn't stop her thoughts and feelings spiralling out of control.

She was here for the opportunity of a lifetime, to the city that never sleeps, she knew her fellow glee clubbers were going to be sightseeing and partying like complete morons but not her, she would try and convince Mr Schue to let her stay at the Hotel and practice.

She looked around her when they exited the subway and was hit by a thousand images in her head, some fantasies, some scenes from films and some memories of trips with her fathers.

_She saw herself walking along Broadway with hundreds of posters of her various shows, holding hands with a tall dark stranger, a little Girl who looked just like her trailing along clinging to her hand, while a little boy with her dark eyes was walking a golden retriever with the help of the tall dark stranger. _

She had a few plans, Sue her.

"Man-hands if you're nearly done drooling over your New York sex dream or whatever, could you get a move on? People are staring" Santana's voice cut though her thoughts like broken glass.

"Sorry" she murmured and followed Mr Schue to the Hotel.

When they arrived Mr Schue stopped and they all huddled around him "Alright guys, I'm going to go check us in okay and then we're going sightseeing" he said before going to reception.

The group found a collection of couches and arm chairs in the corner of the large lobby and settled in.

The others started wittering on about nothing in particular and Rachel finally allowed herself to stare out of the window and imagine living in New York again…

"Rachel, what about you?" Finn said wrapping an arm around her.

"What?" she said looking away from the window?

"Have you ever been to New York before?" Kurt asked boredly, playing with his cufflinks

"Oh. Um yeah I lived her for a year when I was eight" she said awkwardly.

"Why did you leave?" Santana said obnoxiously.

"My Dad got a better job offer in Ohio and my run in Les Mis was up so…" She trailed off awkwardly

"You were in Les Miserables. On Broadway" Kurt said astonished.

"Yeah, I mean I was playing young Cosette for about year, but I grew out of the part, so my Dads decided they wanted the family life, you know garden, white picket fence and all that."

Thankfully Mr Schue was back before Kurt could ask anything-else about her past. He handed out keys and put everyone in pairs. Rachel was thankfully paired with Tina, who wasn't the most irritating person of the group, even if her pitch work left a lot to be desired.

She made her way up to her room and found Tina at the door waiting for her; she unlocked the door and entered.

It was a small room but had two decent beds, two closets, a dressing table and a en-suite. It would do for everything she needed for the Audition preparation tomorrow.

"Can I have the bed by the window" she asked Tina, who nodded timidly.

Rachel placed her bag on her bed as there was a swift knock on the door. Tina opened it to find Mr Schue there.

"Hi Tina, we're all going sightseeing, get Rachel" he said, Tina nodded and he started to walk away when Rachel called out.

"Mr Schue wait" she said as she caught up to him

"What Rachel?" he sighed tiredly, turning to face her.

"Can't I stay here and practice instead, I've lived New York for goodness sake and this audition means a lot to me" she said quickly

"Okay" Mr Schue sighed "I'll send Tina to get you for dinner downstairs later" he sighed and walked off.

As everyone left to go sightseeing. Rachel called her fathers and practiced her song vigorously. She had chosen a song from a musical that had flopped badly a few years ago but it had some incredible ballads.

By the time Tina returned she was sure she had perfected it. She went down to dinner and went to bed peacefully that night.

Blissfully unaware of the amazing yet terrifying change approaching her life.

* * *

_Don't tell me not to live,_

_Just sit and putter,_

_Life's candy and the sun's_

_A ball of butter._

_Don't bring around a cloud_

_To rain on my parade!_

_Don't tell me not to fly-_

_-I've simply got to._

_If someone takes a spill_

_It's me and not you._

_Who told you you're allowed_

_To rain on my parade!_

Rachel sighed and hit the alarm, she groaned, it was 5 am. She climbed out of bed threw on some running clothes, tied up hair and went for a run to get motivated. On a whim, she decided to run along 42nd street to remind her what she was fighting for.

When she got back Tina was still asleep. But it was only six thirty. Rachel pulled out her clothes and walked into the en-suite.

After, showering and drying her hair Rachel put on a black dress with a lace neckline and sleeves, a pair of black tights and a pair of black high heels.

She left the Bathroom and sat down at the dressing table. She'd left her curling iron, and make-up there the night. After curling her hair neatly and adding some light make-up, she collected her black shoulder bag, put in her, song music, IPhone and her make-up bag. She bulled on her white coat and went down to the lobby.

She spent about an hour playing show tunes on the grand piano until the others arrived.

The group headed for breakfast in the restaurant. It was a buffet so Rachel got herself a bowl of muesli, with soy milk, an apple and a glass of orange juice

She sat down first and was soon joined by Kurt who had something quite similar. They looked across the table and saw Santana and Brittany drinking something from a cheerio's bottle.

Puck and Finn sat down with their plates full with eggs, bacon, sausage etc.

"Puck!" she glared horrified.

He looked up at her and took a taunting bite of bacon "I never said I was a good Jew" he said digging in.

Suddenly a piece of bacon was shoved in front of her face "Rachel, have some sausage" Finn said with an idiotic smile.

"No thanks" she said politely, they'd been dating for nearly three months and he had failed to remember she was vegan.

"No, you need some meat on you, come on" he said shoving pack at her face

"Okay Finn. One, I'm vegan and two, pork isn't kosher" she said shoving it back at him

"Wow, what's Christmas like without pork" he said stupidly, Kurt had his eyebrows raised, Mr Schue was looking at Finn strangely and Puck was snickering, he knew how much Rachel told Finn about her Hanukkah celebration, because Finn had later asked him to explain everything.

Rachel pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers and exhaled slowly before answering "I'm Jewish, we don't celebrate Christmas"

"Oh" he said before shrugging and going back to his breakfast.

* * *

A few hours later they were all sitting in the NYADA grand theatre, watching various performances. There were a lot of decent performances but very few exceptional ones.

"Jesse St James" called Carmen Tibideaux.

A handsome boy with curly brown hair walked onto the stage.

"What is your dream career Mr St James" she asked coldly

"Broadway. Acting now and when I'm too old for the good parts then I'd like to start directing and writing" he said

"Any role preferences?" she asked

"I'd like to try Marius, Jean Valjean, Javert, Sweeny Todd, the Phantom, Che, Fiyero, Jack from into the woods, Joe from Sunset Boulevard, Robert from company, Tony from West side story-" Carmen coughed and he summarised "There's an extremely long list and of course I'm interested in new musicals as well." he grinned

"Very ambitious, let's hope it's not all delusion" she smirked "What song?"

"Giants in the Sky from into the woods" he said

"Begin" she commanded

He walked to centre stage and began.

_There are Giants in the sky!_

_There are big tall terrible Giants_

_in the sky!_

_When you're way up high _

_And you look below_

_At the world you left_

_And the things you know,_

_Little more than a glance_

_Is enough to show_

_You just how small you are._

_When you're way up high _

_And you're own your own_

_In a world like none _

_That you've ever known,_

_Where the sky is lead_

_And the earth is stone,_

_You're free, to do_

_Whatever pleases you,_

_Exploring things you'd never dare_

_'Cause you don't care,_

_When suddenly there's_

_A big tall terrible Giant at the door,_

_A big tall terrible lady Giant_

_sweeping the floor._

_And she gives you food_

_And she gives you rest_

_And she draws you close_

_To her Giant breast,_

_And you know things now_

_that you never knew before,_

_Not till the sky._

_Only just when you've made _

_A friend and all,_

_And you know she's big_

_But you don't feel small,_

_Someone bigger than her_

_Comes along the hall_

_To swallow you for lunch._

_And you heart is lead_

_And your stomach stone_

_And you're really scared _

_Being all alone..._

_And it's then that you miss_

_All the things you've known_

_And the world you've left_

_And the little you own-_

_The fun is done._

_You steal what you can and run._

_And you scramble down _

_And you look below,_

_And the world you know_

_Begins to grow:_

_The roof, the house, and your Mother at the door._

_The roof, the house and the world you never thought to explore._

_And you think of all of the things you've seen,_

_And you wish that you could live in between,_

_And you're back again,_

_Only different than before,_

_After the sky._

_There are Giants in the sky!_

_There are big tall terrible awesome scary wonderful_

_Giants in the sky!_

He was amazing, she felt Finn shift awkwardly. He wasn't used to seeing people so dramatically more talented than him.

Miss Tibideaux was silent for a moment before she said "Okay, you can go"

* * *

Finally it was the New Directions turn.

"Santana Lopez" Miss Tibideaux called

Santana strutted on to the stage in her a one sleeved black dress.

"What is your dream?" Miss Tibideaux asked

"Fame, I don't care how it happens but I want everyone to know my name" Santana said confidently

"What's your song" she asked coldly

"Back to Black by Amy Winehouse"

She didn't wait to be told, she just started singing.

_He left no time to regret _

_,kept his lips wet_

_With his same old safe bet_

_Me and my head high_

_,and my tears dry _

_Get on without my guy_

_You went back to what you knew_

_so far removed _

_From all that we went through_

_And I tread a troubled track_

_,my odds are stacked_

_I'll go back to black_

_We only said good-bye with words_

_I died a hundred times_

_You go back to her_

_And I go back to ,I go back to us_

_I love you much ,it's not enough_

_You love blow and I love puff_

_And life is like a pipe_

_ And I'm a tiny penny rolling up the walls inside _

_We only said good-bye with words_

_I died a hundred times_

_You go back to her_

_And I go back to ,I go back to us_

_We only said good-bye with words_

_I died a hundred times_

_You go back to her_

_And I go back to ,I go back to us_

_Black, black, black, black, black, black, black,_

_I go back to_

_I go back to_

_We only said good-bye with words_

_I died a hundred times_

_You go back to her_

_And I go back to _

_We only said good-bye with words_

_I died a hundred times _

_You go back to her_

_And I go back to black_

She finished and walked of stage.

Miss Tibideaux was slaring coldly at her.

"Mercedes Jones"

Mercedes walked up to the stage and climbed onto the stage.

"What's your dream?"

"I want to be a soul or R&B singer, like Aretha, or Whitney, or Beyoncé"

"What's your song?"

"Try a little tenderness"

"Go"

_Oh, she may get weary, them young girls _

_They do get wearied wearing that same old shaggy dress, yeah _

_But when she gets weary _

_Try a little tenderness, oh, man, mmm_

_You know she's waiting, just anticipating _

_The thing that she'll never, never, never, never possess, yeah_

_But while she's waiting and without them_

_Try a little tenderness, that's all you gotta do_

_It's not just sentimental, no, no, no_

_She has her grief and care, yeah, yeah, yeah_

_But the soft words, they are spoke so gentle, yeah, yeah_

_It makes it easier, easier to bear, yeah, yeah, yeah_

_You won't regret it, no_

_Young girls, they don't forget it_

_Love is their whole happiness, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah_

_But it's all so easy_

_All you gotta do is try, try a little tenderness, yeah_

_All you gotta do is, man, hold her where you want her_

_Squeeze her, don't tease her, never leave her_

_Get to her, got to_

_Just try a little tenderness, oh yeah_

_You got to know how to love her, man, get to her_

_You got to squeeze her, don't tease her, never leave her_

_You've got to hold her, rub her softly_

_Try a little tenderness, yeah, yeah_

_You've got to rub against her, man_

_Get to her, don't bruise her, no, no_

_Please her, don't leave her, squeeze her, baby_

_If you na, na, na, na, try_

_Try a little tenderness, oh yeah_

_Squeeze her, don't tease her, never leave her_

_Try, try, try, yeah, ah, tenderness, oh, yeah_

_You got to, you got to, yeah_

_Rub her gently, man, don't bruise her, no, no_

_You got to love her, tease her, squeeze her_

_Yeah, and try a little tenderness_

"How many times did you practice that song?" Miss Tibideaux asked coldly

"Practice? No! I feel my material and sing with emotion I'm in the moment. I don't need to practice" There was a lot of snorting and laughter coming from the other people auditioning.

"Actually you do. At this school you spend every waking moment perfecting your voice. It would be the hardest three years of your life. But at the end you are almost guaranteed a successful career. This goes to everyone, if you're not ready to work for the next three years managing your studies, having a hour of acting, dancing and singing a day as well as an extra skill class. You can go" Carmen said coldly "Kurt Hummel"

Kurt bounced up onto the stage happily and smiled reassuringly at Mercedes as he passed her on the way to her seat.

"What is your dream?"

"I would like to be on Broadway. And then maybe do a little fashion design" he said

"What are your role preferences" Carmen asked

"I don't know really. Because obviously my voice isn't conventional I'd have to recreate roles, but I'd like to try Miss Lovett from Sweeny Todd or Glinda from Wicked"

"What's your song" she asked

"I'm the greatest star" he said

"Begin"

_I've got thirty-six expressions _

_Sweet as pie to tough as leather _

_And that's six expressions more then all them, heh,_

_Barrymores put together_

_Instead of just kicking me_

_Why don't they give me a lift_

_Well, heh, it must be a plot_

_Cause they're scared that I got_

_Such a gift _

_Well I'm miffed _

_Cause I'm the greatest star_

_I am by far_

_But no one knows it_

_Wait! _

_They're gonna hear a voice_

_A silver flute_

_Hoo ho hoo, hoo ho hoo_

_They'll cheer each toot _

_(Hey, I hear it's terrific hmm) _

_When I expose it_

_Now can't ya see to look at me that_

_I'm a natural Camille_

_As Camille I just feel _

_I've so much to offer_

_Hey listen kid I know I'd be divine because_

_I'm a natural cougher_

_(coughs)_

_Some aint got it not a lump_

_I'm a great big clump of talent_

_Laugh, ahahahaha_

_They'll bend in half_

_(Did you ever hear the story of the traveling sales man)_

_A thousand jokes_

_Stick around for the jokes_

_A thousand faces_

_I reiterate_

_When you're gifted then you're gifted_

_These are facts I've got no axe to grind_

_Hey! _

_What're you blind_

_In all of the world so far_

_I'm the greatest star_

_No autographs please!_

_Do you think beautiful girls are gonna be a star forever_

_I should say not_

_Any minute now they're gonna be out_

_Finished!_

_And then it'll be my turn_

_Who is the pip with pi-zaz_

_Who is all ginger and jazz_

_Who is as glamorous as_

_Who's an American beauty rose_

_With an American beauty nose_

_And ten American beauty toes_

_Eyes on the target and wham_

_One shot, one gun shot and bam_

_Hey Mr Katie Here I am_

_I'm the greatest star_

_I am by far_

_But no one knows it_

_That's why I was born I'll blow my horn_

_Till someone blows it_

_I'll light up like a light_

_Right up like a light_

_I'll flicker then flare up_

_All the world's gonna stare up_

_Looking down you'll never see me_

_Try the sky cause that'll be me_

_I can make 'em cry I can make 'em sigh_

_Someday the clamor for my dram-er_

_Have you guessed yet_

_Who's the best yet_

_If you aint I'll tell ya one more time_

_You bet your last dime_

_In all of the world so far_

_I am the greatest, greatest star_

"Thank you" she dismissed "Rachel Berry"

The girl in question stood up nervously and handed Finn the coat that had been on her lap. She walked onto the stage.

"What is your dream?"

"I want on be on Broadway. And maybe when I get older, I could try writing musicals or directing or something"

"Any part preferences?"

"I'd like to play Evita, Elphaba, Eponine, Fanny, Miss Lovett, Maureen, Maria, Laurey from Oklahoma, Fantine, Norma. There's a lot of parts I'd like to play"

"Song?"

"Don't forget me from the off Broadway musical Bombshell" Rachel stuttered

"Begin"

_They thought they could dispose of me_

_They tried to make me small_

_I suffered each indignity_

_But now rise above it all_

_Yes, the price I paid was all I had_

_But at last, I found release_

_And if something good can come from bad_

_The past can rest in peace_

_That if you see someone's hurt_

_And in need of a hand_

_You don't forget me_

_Or hear a melody crying from some baby grand_

_You don't forget me_

_When you sing happy birthday to someone you love_

_Or see diamonds you wish were all free_

_Please say that you won't;_

_I pray that you don't forget me_

_But forget every man who I ever met_

_'Cause they only lived to control_

_For a kiss they paid a thousand_

_Yet they paid fifty cents for my soul_

_They took their piece_

_The price of fame that no one can repay_

_Ah, but they didn't buy me when they bought my name_

_And that is why I pray_

_That if you see someone's hurt_

_And in need of a hand_

_You don't forget me_

_Or hear a melody crying from some baby grand_

_You don't forget me_

_When you sing happy birthday to someone you love_

_Or see diamonds you wish were all free_

_Please say that you won't;_

_I pray that you don't forget me_

_There are some in this world of their own strength_

_Never broken or in need of repair_

_But there are some born to shine who can't do it alone_

_So protect them and take special care_

_Take care!_

_And don't forget me_

_Please take care_

_And don't forget me_

_When you look to the heavens with someone you love_

_And a light shining bright from afar_

_Hope you see my face there_

_ And then offer a prayer_

_And please let me be_

_Let me be the star!_

Rachel opened her eyes and saw the New Directions gaping slightly. She had the usual tears in her eyes.

After a moment miss Tibideaux dismissed her

* * *

"_And the female finalists are Jennifer Lucius, Jade Norbert, Chrissie Jackson, Mercedes Jones, Santana Lopez, Victoria Ferguson, Bella Johnson, Katie Jones, Grace Frankston, Mimi Chris and not Rachel Berry." Miss Tibideaux said and this was followed by slow motion hysterical laughter._

_Slowly a hole in ground began to swallow her up. But the words still echoed_

"_Not Rachel Berry" _

"_Not Rachel Berry"_

"_Not Rachel Berry"_

"_Not Rachel Berry"_

_Then they scene changed, she was singing _A new life _from Jekyll and Hyde except she wasn't acting, she was Lucy Harris, her career had gone so wrong she had turned to prostitution. And then she was getting murdered by Edward Hyde._

_Then she was in a haircutting chair in Sweeny Todd and her throat was slit._

_Then she was dying of aids in Rent_

_Then she was shot by Meg in Love Never Dies _

_Or being hung like the innocent murderer in Chicago. _

Suddenly she was shaken out of her nightmares by a thump, she had rolled out of bed in her sleep.

As she climbed back into bed, she scolded herself for allowing a Broadway death montage just because she might not get in to her dream school.

It was ridiculous.

* * *

The Next day Rachel sat fidgeting with the hem of her light blue dress. She was sitting in the NYADA theatre between Kurt and Finn, waiting nervously for Carmen Tibideaux.

When she finally came out she had a list and 20 sets of keys.

"Hello, I have in my hand the top 20 people for this year's acceptance list and in my other the keys to the rehearsal rooms they will be sharing with their partner"

"Okay boys first, in a random order Anthony Collins, George Young, Paul Harris, Kurt Hummel" Kurt froze next to her, she grinned at him and beat down her fear and jealousy "Mark Wilson, James Thompson, Blaine Anderson, Jesse St James, Chris Oakley and Daniel Forester. Can these boys please come onto the stage please?" Kurt stood up shakily and made his way up to the stage "A round of applause for the 2010 finalists" she commanded and the room was filled with applause, some people happy some moody and some just didn't clap at all.

"Okay the girls, again in a random order Linda Nelson, Donna Edwards, Maria Evans, Patricia Jenks, Susan Rodriguez, Margaret Smith, Lisa Campbell, Deborah King, Alice Collins and Rachel Berry.

**Please Review this is my first story and I'd really like to know what's good and what to improve on but please be a little nice. Please. The more reviews the faster I'll update which St Berry fans may want because Jesse and Rachel are finally going to meet. Thank You**


	3. Top Twenty

_**Disclaimer: still don't own glee **_

_**Majestic Seahorse: Thank you so nice and I like Rachel goes to Carmel and would like to see if you continue it **_

_**TheAsianWhoIsAFanzel: Thank you, who doesn't love Idina Menzel, your stories are amazing and now I'm totally having Shelby as a regular story, eventually.**_

_**Thanks to all the other reviewers. You guys are awesome.**_

**NYADA **

**Chapter 3**

"Okay the girls, again in a random order Linda Nelson, Donna Edwards, Maria Evans, Patricia Jenks, Susan Rodriguez, Margaret Smith, Lisa Campbell, Deborah King, Alice Collins and Rachel Berry."

She'd been chosen, she had been chosen out of 700 people. She felt what was left her emotional strength multiply by about a hundred.

"Alright, girls please come up" Carmen said "A round of applause for the 2010 top 20"

Rachel stood next to Kurt and looked around. Next to Kurt was a black haired boy, who Kurt had been eying, on his other side was the boy with curly brown hair who had sung "Giants in the sky". He turned his head, met her eyes and nodded politely. She hesitantly smiled back and looked past him at the next person who was a tall boy with light blonde hair on his other side were two pretty girls, one with Blonde hair and blue eyes and the other with red hair and brown eyes. There were four boys on next to them. The first was tall with light brown hair who caught her eye and grinned, the next had jet black hair and a bored expression, next was a boy with a smiley boy with black hair with blue bits in it.

On her other side was a pretty girl blonde girl who smiled at her. Rachel smiled back and looked at the next girl, she had blonde hair and a pointed nose, she met her eyes and glared coldly. Rachel raised her eyebrows at her before moving on there was two more girls one pale with light pink hair and the next was a pretty Latina with pretty eyes. Next was one more boy a Blonde with startling deep blue eyes and then there were three more girls one blonde and two brunettes. Finally a pretty girl with Black hair and grey eyes.

"Okay could everyone who isn't chosen please leave, wait outside if you want to wait for them they'll be done in a few moments" everyone quickly left and Miss Tibideaux gestured towards the front row. The group quickly shuffled off the stage and sat down. Rachel was last but the nice girl next to her had saved her a seat between her and the curly brown haired guy.

"Get into a pair with someone you want to work with for a duet, dance and acting duet. Acting and dancing will be judged by the actual teachers and the same people as that department so you may get an offer from them in your exception or rejection letter. Alright pair up" Carman said

Rachel looked around and saw the guy next to her eying her.

"Can you dance?" he asked

"Ballet, tap, ballroom, modern, jazz and contemporary" she smirked "You?"

"Same without Jazz, what about acting?"

"I like to think I'm quite good. And yourself"

"I'm decent" he smirked "Partner?"

"Fine, since you asked so elegantly" she said sarcastically

"What can I say, I have a way with words" he grinned and she laughed

She looked at the other end of the line and saw Kurt looking at her with his eyebrows raised. He was paired with the smiley black haired boy and seemed pretty content with the arrangement.

"Alright are we all paired up? Now you are all going to be given keys for dance studios, you share this with your partner, for the next few days. Solo call-backs are tomorrow, then Duets are on Wednesday, Acting duets on Thursday and Dancing on Friday. Alright on from each pair collect your keys"

Jesse got there keys and sat down next her again.

"Okay, you can all go" Carmen dismissed and they all got up, Rachel went over to her original seat and picked up her bag, Jesse did the same and ran over to her.

"Hi do you wanna go get a coffee or something, we can figure out what we're singing tomorrow and for our duets, I know a great coffee shop, with a really good music shop next door. It's like ten minutes' walk away" he asked confidently grinning at her.

She felt a blush rise onto her cheeks _Finn, Finn, Finn, Finn _she chanted in her head _Finn, Finn _"Um, sure that sounds nice" she stuttered

* * *

**Jesse-POV**

"Hi do you wanna go get a coffee or something, we can figure out what we're singing tomorrow and for our duets, I know a great coffee shop, with a really good music shop next door. It's like ten minutes' walk away" he asked, sounding a little too keen. Grinning at her.

She blushed. _She has a cute blush_ he thought then caught himself. _What the hell did I just call someone cute?_ he mentally shouted.

"Um, sure that sounds nice" she said and butterflies erupted in his stomach. _What the hell was wrong with Me today? Maybe it was the bagel I had for breakfast. Yeah, that was it. _He thought

As they walked out of the main doors and into the lobby, tall, dopey looking guy came up to Rachel and said in an idiotic voice "Hi Rachel, I waited for you. Do you want to get some lunch"

"Finn, it's like Ten fifteen" she said with her eyebrows raised. _She looks so sweet when she does that _he thought _snap out of it St James_

"Then let's go sightseeing. This could be your only chance to see New York" he said.

_Idiot!_

"Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence, Finn" she said coldly "Besides, me and Jesse are going to find music for our duets and solos tomorrow"

"Who's Jesse?" he asked sharply and Jesse raised a singular exasperated eyebrow."

"Finn this is my duet partner Jesse. Jesse this is my boyfriend Finn" Jealousy filled him to his core. _That was one dodgy bagel_.

"Nice to meet you" Jesse said and offered out his hand. Finn took it and gripped it hard. Jesse met his strength and didn't show it on his face unlike Finn who was frowning in concentration. _Ridiculous._

"We should probably go Jesse. Finn I'll see you later." She said, grabbed Jesse's hand and pulled him out of the building.

* * *

**Rachel-POV**

"-and they took our whole set list. And we had to make up a set list on the spot, so I sung "Don't rain on my parade" and we won"

"Wow"

"Yeah but then Aural intensity beat us a regionals" She sighed sadly.

"Don't worry I'll kick their asses at nationals for you" he grinned and laughed.

Rachel had learned a lot about Jesse in a few hours. They both love Broadway, Jesse is the lead of a national champion show choir, and he lives in Los Angeles and his idols are Michael Crawford, Robert Renford and Michael Ball.

She and Jesse seemed to strangely click. Which frightened her to no end.

* * *

The next day Rachel entered the NYADA, yawning slightly, she and Jesse had stayed up late rehearsing the night before. She entered the theatre and quickly spotted Jesse sitting in the front row with two cups of coffee. She walked over to him, gave him a quick hug before accepting her coffee.

"I knew there was a reason I paired up with you" she said taking a sip.

"Besides my good looks, charm, talent and intelligence" he said mockingly

"Aww your cute when you're delusional" she said pinching his cheek.

He glared at something over her shoulder, she turned to see Finn glaring from a few rows behind them with the rest of the new direction. She waved and he scowled. Mr Schue and Brittany waved back.

"Okay let's begin. Jesse St James, you're up" Miss Tibideaux said. Jesse handed Rachel his coffee before climbing onto the stage.

"What are you singing?" Carmen asked

"Empty chairs and Empty tables from Les Mis" he said

"Alright, off you go" Carmen said

_There's a grief that can't be spoken._

_There's a pain goes on and on._

_Empty chairs at empty tables_

_Now my friends are dead and gone._

_Here they talked of revolution._

_Here it was they lit the flame._

_Here they sang about `tomorrow'_

_And tomorrow never came._

_From the table in the corner_

_They could see a world reborn_

_And they rose with voices ringing_

_I can hear them now!_

_The very words that they had sung_

_Became their last communion_

_On the lonely barricade at dawn._

_Oh my friends, my friends forgive me_

_That I live and you are gone._

_There's a grief that can't be spoken._

_There's a pain goes on and on._

_Phantom faces at the window._

_Phantom shadows on the floor._

_Empty chairs at empty tables_

_Where my friends will meet no more._

_Oh my friends, my friends, don't ask me_

_What your sacrifice was for_

_Empty chairs at empty tables_

_Where my friends will sing no more._

They all clapped politely as he climbed down, sat back down and took back his coffee.

After a few more performances it was Kurt's turn. He climbed onto the stage and answered what song it was with the answer _Not the boy next door_

_ Comin' __home__ used to feel so good_

_I'm a stranger now in my neighborhood_

_I've seen the world at a faster pace_

_And I'm comin' now from a diff'rent place_

_Though I may look the same way to you_

_Underneath there is somebody new_

_I am not The boy next door_

_I don't belong Like I did before_

_Nothin' ever seems like it used to be_

_You can have your dreams, but you can't have me_

_Oh, I can't come back there anymore_

_'Cause I am not the boy next door_

_You've been savin' those souvenirs, Faded photographs from our foolish years_

_We made plans, but they're wearin' thinAnd they don't work out 'cause I don't fit in_

_And those mem'ries will just weigh me down_

_'Cause I got no place to keep 'em uptown_

_I am not The boy next door_

_I don't belong Like I did before_

_Nothin' ever seems like it used to be_

_You can have your dreams, but you can't have me_

_Oh, I can't go back there anymore_

_'Cause I am not the boy next door, uh!_

_I'm not sorry for just bein' me_

_But if you'd look past the past you could see_

_That I am not Nothin' ever seems like it used to be_

_You can have your dreams, oh, but you can't have me_

_I can't go back there anymore_

_'Cause I am not (You are not)_

_I am not (You are not)_

_I am not the boy next door_

Finally it was Rachel's turn.

"What song?" she was asked

"_So in Love_ from Kiss Me Kate" she answered

"Very well, begin"

_Strange, dear, but true, dear,_

_When I'm close to you, dear,_

_The stars fill the sky,_

_So in love with you am I._

_Even without you_

_My arms fold about you._

_You know, darling why,_

_So in love with you am I._

_In love with the night mysterious_

_The night when you first were there._

_In love with my joy delirious_

_When I knew that you might care._

_So taunt me and hurt me,_

_Deceive me, desert me,_

_I'm yours 'til I die,_

_So in love,_

_So in love,_

_So in love with you, my love, am I._

_So taunt me and hurt me,_

_Deceive me, desert me,_

_I'm yours 'til I die,_

_So in love,_

_So in love,_

_So in love with you, my love, am I._

She finished and looked at Carmen to see her smiling only slightly but it was still visible.

One top 20 solo. Check. Just Dance, Duet and acting left and she had Jesse to help her.

_Jesse._

_She was far too attached considering they met yesterday._

_Anyway the wind Blows _she thought. They both loved Queen anyway.

**I'm going on holiday really early tomorrow, so I won't be able to update for a bit. But I'll try and find an internet café or something. Please, Please, Please Review. It really means a lot to me.**


	4. The competition begins

_**Disclaimer: still don't own glee**_

_**Sorry I took so long to update I was in Italy, plus I wanted to some more research and planning. **_

_**I'm experimenting with some other POVs this chapter so tell me what you think.**_

**NYADA**

**Chapter 4**

"5, 6, 7, 8"

The next day Rachel had awakened to Jesse banging on her door at four in the morning, for rehearsal. So after leaving a note for Tina, and getting ready and following Jesse to the dance studio.

After practicing their Duet and scene for three rather enjoyable hours. The Chorographer arrived.

Dakota Stanley!

Jesse had assured her that he was an amazing chorographer. Which he was. The only problem was his vile personality.

The chorography was detailed, difficult and beautiful. They were doing a contemporary ballet dance to the Coldplay song "Fix you" It was based on the support of family through illness. It was deep and beautiful and inspirational and Rachel was astonished it came from such a horrid, loathsome man.

"Stop it's all wrong. It's the high kick then the spin not both at once" he screamed and they stopped.

"I don't know how you even got this far the competition, you are just a pair of talentless, wannabe actors who don't have the attention span to master simple chorography" he was about to elaborate further when Rachel stormed out.

Rachel left the studio and fell in to one of the chairs opposite, as the hysterics took over, she'd been insulted continuously since middle school but no one had ever called talentless. She leaned forward and but her face in hands.

Abruptly the door opened and she feared it was the chorographer from hell but out came an irritated Jesse, his face soften once he saw her crying.

He walked over and crouched in front of her with his hands on her knees to keep balance.

"Are you okay? You ran out pretty fast" he said gently.

Rachel exhaled softly and pulled her face out of her hands.

"We have two days to make that thing perfect, because I know in my heart that if we don't give it everything and we don't get it, I won't be able to live with myself" she said softly Jesse barely heard her.

"Which is why we're going back to the hotel to get ready for our duet, then after the duet we'll get a very quick lunch and come perfect the scene then tomorrow we'll do exactly the same and perfect the dance, besides I saw that two of the other couples dancing, one looked like something you would see in a wiggles concert and the other had a guy who drew a mostash on his thumb and a girl stupid enough to try and chat him up"

Rachel laughed before adding "I love the wiggles" she said lightly as she let him help her up from her seat.

"Who doesn't, but the chorography isn't exactly ground-breaking" he grinned as he led her out of the building

* * *

Rachel unlocked the door to her hotel room and headed straight for the shower.

After easing the dull ache of her muscles in the shower Rachel, quickly changed into another pretty black dress with slightly darker flowers imprinted on it with a matching a jacket, her lucky gold star necklace from her fathers, some pretty Onex earrings that were surrounded by little diamonds and the gold and black lucky bracelet that her mother had left for her when she gave her up.**(Link to pictures on profile) **She slipped on some simple black high heels and tied her hair up into a side bun with pieces falling out elegantly.

She grabbed her black shoulder bag and left for the lobby.

She passed the rest of the New Directions as she walked by so she decided to say hello.

"Hey guys, what have you done so far today?" she smiled

"We just got up and breakfast. It is only eleven Rachel" Mr Schue said boredly

"Oh yeah, my partner's a slave driver" she moaned rubbing her shoulders

"Who's a slave driver?" a perfectly pitched voice said from behind her. He made his way over to her and put his hand on the small of her back.

"You, St Jerk" she teased while mock glaring at him.

"I resent that" he declared dramatically

"You made me get up at four in the morning" she said indignantly

"Welcome to Broadway sweetheart, besides I brought coffee. The exact right coffee I might add, after having coffee with you once. That's impressive" he grinned at her she elbowed him in the ribs.

Finn coughed loudly.

"Oh right sorry" Rachel said turning back to the group "Guys this is my partner Jesse, Jesse this is Mr Schuester-he's our coach, Matt, Mike, Artie, Tina, Brittany, Santana, Quinn, Puck, you've met Finn and that's Kurt who's a finalist as well"

"Right, well as nice as it was meeting you all we should probably get going. Miss Tibideaux waits for no-one" Jesse smiled awkwardly

"Actually Kurt's asked us to come watch the duets, acting and dancing" Finn said with a frustrated voice

"Okay, well we see you there" Rachel said as she was gently tugged away by Jesse.

* * *

Rachel and Jesse entered the auditorium to find a small audience awaiting them, there was the New Directions, and several other groups varying in size. Jesse looked over at a large group, grinned and pulled Rachel over to it.

"Rach, this is Vocal Adrenaline. Guys this is my duet partner Rachel Berry. Rach this is Giselle, Andrea, Chris,Shoshandra, Lily, John, Richard, Edward, Brad, Louise, Karen, Rosie, Kimberly, Carole, Ruth, Katie, Jason, Robert, Mark, Cory, Joe, Daniel, Charlie, Kevin, Jenny, Sandra and our coach Mr. Goolsby."

"Nice to meet you all, How are liking New Yor-"

"Finalists over here please" Carmen called

Rachel and Jesse quickly walked over to the front row and sat down.

"Okay, we know why we're here so let's no beat around the bush, up first Olive and Ronald"

A blonde boy and the pink haired girl walked onto the stage and sang a pretty good version of "One hand, one heart"

They finished and everyone applauded Miss Tibideaux didn't even look up as he called up the next name.

"Janet and Martin" After a decent version of "I'd be surprising good for you" they were good but Rachel wasn't sure if they hit it on the nose.

"Blaine and Beth" They sang a great version of "High flying adored" but Blaine defiantly overshadowed her

"Kurt and Gregory" Kurt came onto the stage with a tall black haired boy they sang "Sun and moon" from Miss Saigon it was impressive because they had adjusted the song for Kurt.

"Maria and Anthony" sang an nice version of "Tonight" it was actually very sweet.

"Rachel and Jesse"

Rachel squeezed Jesse's hand before walking onto the stage, he followed her and the both took centre stage.

* * *

_Finn's POV _

Finn watch as a lot of talented people sang duets passionately but he couldn't take his eyes off the small brunette fidgeting with her dress while watching the other couples with terror.

Finn was so used to seeing Rachel as a pathetic clingy girl who threw a tantrum when she didn't get away that he was astonished by the sight of her in her element, she was practically glowing and scared him more then he cared to admit.

When Finn pictured his future, he pictured being the hero of an Ohio college football team and perhaps a music program as well, then a career in a small town like Lima. He had always thought that Rachel would become an estate agent, or a music teacher while raising his children, or that he would grow out of her and bask in his own success and that he would never hear of her again.

Now it was apparent that he had been a delusional idiot, because apparently life was not like high school, the geeks and theatre nerds don't hide in the shadows of the footballers and cheerleaders, most of the football players would be stuck in Ohio, or at least the ones like Finn who didn't have some back-up plan or talent. Yes Finn could sing, but he wasn't exceptional this trip to the NYADA auditions proved that. He was a Lima loser through and through.

_NO!_ He thought with venom, he didn't deserve this he had been an amazing boyfriend, he had been faithful, you know except that time in Madonna week when he lost his big V to Santana and yes they had technically been dating, but it was in its infancy and she wouldn't even let him get to second base. Yes he had strayed since then, he still had lingering feelings for Quinn and attraction for Santana and Brittany but he was a teenage for goodness sake, it was natural.

"Rachel and Jesse" the scary NYADA lady who's name Finn didn't know.

He saw Rachel squeeze Jesse's hand and anger filled him. Jesse was some sort of male Rachel, who knew all that stupid Broadway stuff and suddenly his relationship was at stake and that irritated him to no end.

They took centre stage and Rachel began.

_Kiss Me too fiercely  
Hold me too tight  
I need help believing  
You're with me tonight  
My wildest dreamings  
Could not foresee  
Lying beside you  
With you wanting me_

* * *

Rachel smiled at Jesse as she went onto the next verse

_And just for this moment  
As long as you're mine  
I've lost all resistance  
And crossed some border line  
And if it turns out  
It's over too fast  
I'll make every last moment last  
As long as you're mine_

She fell silent as Jesse sang his verse

_Maybe I'm brainless  
Maybe I'm wise  
But you've got me seeing  
Through different eyes  
Somehow I've fallen  
Under your spell  
And somehow I'm feeling  
It's up that I fell_

She joined in and they sang the chorus

_Every moment  
As long as you're mine  
I'll wake up my body  
And make up for lost time_

Rachel fell silent once more as Jesse sang

_Say there's no future  
For us as a pair_

And the joined in again for the final verse

_And though I may know  
I don't care  
Just for this moment  
As long as you're mine  
Come be how you want to  
And see how bright we shine  
Borrow the moonlight  
Until it is through  
And know I'll be here holding you  
As long as you're mine_

Everyone applauded politely as they climbed off the stage.

* * *

The next day went very similarly to the one before. Jesse banging on her door at a hideous time of the morning.

Rachel was ready this time in her dance kit with her hair tied in a ponytail and shoes on. She opened the door and followed Jesse out into the corridor.

"Wow Jess, if you bang that door any harder, you might get it pregnant" she yawned; Jesse rolled his eyes and handed her a cinnamon soy latte.

After a few hours they had perfected they're duet focused on acting and had almost cracked the dance, now Stanley was just correcting little things like keeping the feet pointed in certain parts and where to straighten out their spines.

They went back to the hotel where Rachel changed into a strapless black dress the had beading just under her chest and ended a little under knees, she wore black tights and black heels with it and pulled on her mother's lucky bracelet, her lucky gold star necklace and some flower stud earrings. She pulled on her jacket and bag. And left for the theatre with Jesse.

Finally they headed to theatre and took their seats, Rachel waved the New Directions and some of them waved back while a few people just scowled.

Rachel saw that Miss Tibideaux wasn't alone there were two other people with her. They were quickly introduced as Mr Forester and Miss Kasey from the drama department.

The auditions began almost immediately and some of them were mediocre in the extreme, but naturally there were some amazing people who were actual triple threats. Kurt and his partner had done Miss Lovett's death scene from Sweeny Todd, with Kurt as Miss Lovett. _He must have loved that_ Rachel smiled.

Finally it was there turn and they were more than ready.

Jesse and Rachel walked the stage. Jesse was centre stage while Rachel was stage left.

The music started as Jesse's character spotted Rachel's

"I know him" he said as he met her halfway between them, worry clear etched onto his handsome face

_Good God, what are you doing?  
'Ponine, have you no fear?  
Have you seen my beloved?  
Why have you come back here_?

Jesse was gripping her arm lightly with clear fear on his face.

_Took the letter like you said  
I met her father at the door  
He said he would give it  
I don't think I can stand anymore_

Rachel fell into Jesse's arms with a look of deep pain. Gently lowered her to the ground and sat down pulling her head onto his lap and her shoulders balanced against his knees.

_Eponine, what's wrong?  
There's something wet upon your hair  
Eponine, you're hurt  
You need some help  
Oh, God, it's everywhere!_

Jesse made a move get up but Rachel grabbed his hand.

_Don't you fret, M'sieur Marius  
I don't feel any pain  
A little fall of rain  
Can hardly hurt me now  
You're here, that's all I need to know  
And you will keep me safe  
And you will keep me close  
And rain will make the flowers grow._

Rachel sang softly her voice stuttering and wobbling. Halfway through they verse she started stroking his cheek gently at the end of the verse she stopped and gripped his forearm.

_But you will live, 'Ponine - dear God above,  
If I could heal your wounds with words of love_

Jesse was stroking her hair softly

_Just hold me now, and let it be.  
Shelter me, comfort me_

Rachel let a few tears slip down her face. Jesse pulled her closer.

_You would live a hundred years  
If I could show you how  
I won't desert you now..._

Rachel looked up at him sadly and let out a choked sop of pain.

_The rain can't hurt me now  
This rain will wash away what's past  
And you will keep me safe  
And you will keep me close  
I'll sleep in your embrace at last._

_The rain that brings you here  
Is Heaven-blessed!  
The skies begin to clear  
And I'm at rest  
A breath away from where you are  
I've come home from so far  
So don't you fret, M'sieur Marius_

_I don't feel any pain  
A little fall of rain  
Can hardly hurt me now_

Rachel and Jesse began singing in counterpoint.

_That's all I need to know  
And you will keep me safe  
And you will keep me close_

Rachel sang softly while stroking his face while he sung. His face was heartbroken yet resigned and comforting

_Hush-a-bye, dear Eponine,  
You won't feel any pain  
A little fall of rain  
Can hardly hurt you now  
I'm here_

Jesse pulled her closer and let some tears slip.

_I will stay with you  
Till you are sleeping_

Rachel clutched his arm as she sang her voice becoming weaker with every word.

_And rain..._

_And rain..._

Jesse echoed a few tears escaping. Rachel sang her last line softly. It was quiet and weak.

_Will make the flowers..._

Jesse echoed the line softly

_Will make the flowers..._

Rachel closed her eyes and let her whole body go limb.

_Grow…_

Jesse finished. He feels her go limb and whispers "God, Eponine" "No" he choked out softly as pulled her body into his arms and hugs with her head under his chin. He kisses her forehead before laying her down.

The audience applauded loudly. Jesse stood up before offering Rachel a hand and helping her up. They walked off the stage and back to their seats.

* * *

_Mr Schue Pov_

The New directions were silent during the performance; none of them knew Rachel was that good of an actress. Sure she cried in a lot of solos but that's not really acting and Cabaret had been shut down.

Maybe he shouldn't judge his students so quickly.

* * *

Once the auditions were over Jesse picked up Rachel, twirling her around and laughing.

"It went perfectly" he grinned as he put her down.

"Yes, but we have the dance tomorrow and that's the hardest, so lunch then rehearsals" she said and he pouted

"I'm not kidding, move it mister" she said, Jesse saw Finn walking over and smirked.

"Okay let's go" he said and smirked at him before being dragged away by the bright eyed ingénue who captivated him so quickly.

* * *

That night Rachel finally went to dinner with the New directions she was sat in a dark restaurant in a large booth tuck between Finn and Kurt. The current topic of conversation was the audition.

"I can't believe you guys are such good actors" he said his voice going from high to low, he was grinning widely and had wide, bright eyes and he let loose a strange laugh. Rachel suspected this was his show face. His show face reminded of the dentist in A little shop of horrors. Insane and high on laughing gas.

"I'm not sure if I should be flattered or offended" Rachel grinned

"So Rachel, Jesse's very talented. Where's he from"

"L.A. He's the lead of Vocal Adrenaline, he won them nationals last year, youngest lead ever to win and they're on their way to winning another." She smiled.

"Wow. Are you Ready for the dance tomorrow" Kurt said anxiously

"Nearly me and Jess are going to practice tomorrow morning" she smiled

"What about you Kurt" Mr Schue said

"We're all set" he grinned.

* * *

The next day Jesse and Rachel were up at the same time as usual and did the same routine, with one difference, it was all dance. They had perfected it

They went back to the hotel and Rachel showered to sooth the pain in her muscles. She changed into tights with a red leotard with thick straps and pulled on her Red dress with only one sleeve which was an angel sleeve. She pulled on some red high heels, put on a pair of small red stud earrings and her lucky star necklace.

She pulled on her light brown coat, picked up her red ballet shoes and put them in her bag, slinging it over her shoulder and going to meet Jesse.

She found Jesse who was wearing an all-black dance kit.

When they arrived at the theatre Rachel took off her coat and put on her red ballet shoes.

"You look lovely as usual" Jesse smiled

"Thanks" she blushed. Rachel noticed that a temporary ballet bar had been put up along the side of the theatre. "Come on lets warm up" she said

Rachel walked over there and began warming up.

About ten minutes later Miss Tibideaux entered with two other teachers who were introduced as Miss July and Zach, one was head of the dance department and one was a dance teacher.

The auditions started quickly and some of the dances were just awful, but there were some good ones Kurt and his partner did a cool jazz number and a few other people had done some nice ballets, but now it was there turn.

**(Recommended Video for this part= So you think you can dance, fix you contemporary. Seriously watch it its awesome)**

The song "fix you" began so Rachel started to walk crouched slightly, Jesse came and helped along up, they looked at each, then Rachel he helped he backwards then she gracefully fell back into he moved them forwards slightly before picking her up and spinning her slowly, he then put her down and she turn slowly then lifted her leg up a little bit, Jesse took a hold of it and helped keep her steady, she leant down to her toes and Jesse let go of her leg put his hand next to his foot and lifted it across quickly and elegantly. He then twisted and propped up Rachel when she dropped forwards. She then put her leg up and her arms up and Jesse picked her up around the waist and quickly turned her on her side and spun her slowly. He put he down and twisted so his was behind her and in one fluid motion his arm came around her neck and he pulled it away again begin the fast bit of the dance. They both leaned forwards then backwards with their hands linked her leg came up and he pushed it down slightly, they both spun quickly letting go of each other's hand and separating them and then they danced back into to two spotlights. Which had a quick turn then a high kick, then a simultaneous turn and kick then a graceful jump, the a high kick with a gesture of pulling something, then a bend, then low turn, back kick, high kick turn, crouch, half turn, high kick, low turn with a high kick, Rachel did a small cartwheel while Jesse did a jump. Rachel jumped high backwards and Jesse caught her dipping her over his shoulder quickly, releasing her, she spun and he caught her again, dipped her sideways almost to the floor. He let go of her and she rolled slightly. She got up and danced backwards, he turned and landed on two hands and on foot with the other bend behind him. As the musical slowed Rachel was walk hunched up again, Jesse slid along the floor and nudged her leg with his head, then with his foot. He then got up and lifted her on to his feet and then walked with her balanced on her feet.

There was applause and they both bowed slightly before going back to their seats.

* * *

The next day everyone was going home and the New Directions were at the train station.

"Oy Berry!" Rachel turn slightly and saw Jesse.

"Hey, don't you have a plane to catch" she smiled

"Not for a few hours yet" he said

"Rachel!" Mr Schue called, the train was approaching.

"Alright I'll let you go, here's my number, text me when you get your letter" he said, she nodded

"Rachel!"

Jesse pulled Rachel in for a tight hug. Rachel stood on her toes, wrapped her arms around his neck and squeeze lightly, she turned her head and kissed his cheek softly.

"Rachel!" This time it was Finn

"See you soon" he said

"Let's hope" she said and pulled away.

"Bye"

"Bye"

"Bye"

"Jesse!"

"Sorry"

"Bye" She said and walked over to the train, Puck helped her with her suitcase and climbed onto the train.

He waved and grinned at her as the train departed

* * *

_3 weeks later_

Rachel walked into glee club and sat down next to Finn.

"Kurt, Rachel come up here please" Mr Schue said "Your NYADA letters came in the mail today"

He handed them each a letter.

Rachel watched Kurt open his letter. He scanned it quickly and his face fell.

"I got into Fashion design but not musical theatre" he said slowly everyone's eyes turned to Rachel, she slowly opened her letter and scanned it.

Her breath hitched.

* * *

Jesse was sitting in his kitchen with his Letter to afraid to open it. His phone buzzed.

He checked it and smiled

_I got in, I'm going to NYADA- Rach x_

* * *

That night Rachel was curled up in bed reading a Shelby Corcoran autobiography, Shelby was one of her idols, second only to Barbra.

Her phone buzzed she checked it and grinned.

_That's great. I guess that means you're stuck with me them_ –Jesse.

**What do you think, love it, hate it any review means a lot, even a smiley face. Please!**

_**(Sneak peek next chapter)**_

"_I'm your boyfriend, I'm meant to come first"_

"_Well you don't"_

"_I should"_

"_I don't come first with you"_

"_No but you're really annoying and dress like a five year old"_

"_And you don't understand multiplication and congrats _honey_ you're the captain of Ohio's worst football team" _

"_At least I have friends"_

"_Your right I'll go find some at NYADA" she snapped and climbed out of Finn's truck slamming the door behind her and marching up to her front door_

_Rachel slammed the door to her house angrily, why can't Finn just be happy for her like a decent boyfriend._

"_Rachel can you come in her please" he father Hiram called Rachel walked in and saw one of her idols sitting in her living room._

"_Rachel, this is Shelby Corcoran, she's your mother"_

_The room span and suddenly went black._


	5. Mom?

**NYADA**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own glee **

**Hi it's been a month since I started YAY!**

**Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate them, please keep reviewing.**

**Chapter 5**

_Dear Miss Rachel Berry_

_It is my personal pleasure to tell you that you have been accepted into The New York Academy for Dramatic Arts._

_Term begins on the 10__th__ of September._

_A package has been sent to your home and you should receive it in a couple of days. _

_Congratulations_

_NYADA administration office._

Rachel grinned at the letter before looking nervously at the thick package in front of her. She took a deep breath and opened it; a booklet fell out along with three pieces of paper

Rachel opened the booklet and turned to the Musical theatre section

_Congratulations future Musical theatre student at the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts._

_The work for a musical theatre student is long and difficult; school hours are a little longer because you do the required four hours of academic studies then three hours of musical theatre subjects like Drama, Music (vocal) and dance._

_You must also choose 2 subjects because it's important to be well rounded incase you don't succeed in your chosen career career. _

_Possible options _

_Art_

_Musical theatre backstage _

_Modelling _

_Photography_

_Cookery _

_Music (Instrumental)_

_Fashion design _

Rachel turned to a different page which was housing details

_Drama student housing- Block B_

_Dance student housing-Block A_

_Fashion Design- Block A_

_Music- Block B_

_Musical Theatre-Main building _

Rachel flipped through until she found the section on Musical theatre students arriving for the first three weeks of summer to set up for the school year.

_All freshmen must come in for the first three weeks of summer vacation to prepare for the school year this involves decorating apartments, theatre trips and the second week is a survival camp to make students bond._

Rachel looked at the papers next, one was the list of stuff they'll need it mostly consisted of dance shoes, autobiographies and usual stuff.

* * *

_5 days later_

It was a Saturday evening and Rachel was in her bedroom doing her hair. She was wearing a deep blue dress with a matching shoes and handbag. She was wearing light blue sapphire earrings that her grandmother had left her.

She left her hair down in neat waves down her back. She stood up and headed for the door. She saw Finn talking to her Dads and she smiled.

"Hi I got you these" he said handing her box of milk chocolates. Her smile didn't falter.

"Thanks Finn, that's very sweet" she said while she thought _Still Vegan. _She put them down on the table by the door, Daddy L would probably have them.

_4 hours later_

The date only got worse. He had taken her to dinner at a steakhouse in Akron, there were no vegan options and Finn had order before she could point this out. Then he had taken her to see some action film with no actual plot or a single interesting aspect. Finn was currently driving her home.

He pulled up outside her house.

"Rachel, can we talk?" Finn said awkwardly

"Sure" she smiled

"I don't want you to go to NYADA" he said she was about to comment so he cut her off "Just here me out, you could stay in Lima, be normal, for once, then do musical theatre at Ohio state or something"

"Finn, I know me up and moving to New York at the age of sixteen years old is risk and I if I don't want to live there anymore then I'll move back but I can't go through life knowing I let this go" she said softly

"What about us?" he asked frustrated

"Either we try long distance or we break up"

"How is that fair to me? You'll go off to New York and be a big success or whatever and I'll be stuck in Lima for the rest of my life"

"That's not true Finn and I can't live in Lima just to make you happy, I would die a little every day and eventually break up with you out of resentment"

"Why can't you stop being such a drama queen?"

"Because it slips in naturally, I need this and I've proven I'm good enough, how can I let that go? I've dreamt of this I was four years old. I could never let this go"

"I'm your boyfriend, I'm meant to come first"

"Well you don't"

"I should"

"I don't come first with you"

"No but you're really annoying and dress like a five year old"

"And you don't understand multiplication and congrats _honey_ you're the captain of Ohio's worst football team"

"At least I have friends"

"Your right I'll go find some at NYADA" she snapped and climbed out of Finn's truck slamming the door behind her and marching up to her front door

Rachel slammed the door to her house angrily, why can't Finn just be happy for her like a decent boyfriend.

"Rachel can you come in here please" he father Hiram called Rachel walked in and saw one of her idols sitting in her living room.

"Rachel, this is Shelby Corcoran, she's your mother"

The room span and everything suddenly went black.

* * *

Rachel woke up to see daylight streaming through her window, her eyes fluttered open. Strangely Rachel was tucked into bed without any idea how she got there.

She climbed out of bed and saw she was still in her dress from the night before; she said before grabbing some clothes and headed for the shower.

During her shower, the memory of the night before came back to her. The horrible date, Finn asking her not to go, then her idol turned out to be her mother, and then she had fainted.

Shelby being her mother would have been a dream come true to an innocent thirteen year old Rachel who couldn't see the problems with this vile situation.

A wiser and more mature Rachel who had seen first-hand the hate in people's hearts. This was the women who had abandoned her willingly to pursue a Broadway career and never looked back or contacted her only child.

Rachel had always resented her birth mother for abandoning her, even though her fathers were the best parents to grace the earth, she had always yearned for a mother to look up to and idolize.

And then Shelby became her idol and Rachel had obsessed and dreamt of being like her.

And now with resent information Rachel feared that more than anything.

While of course she still dreamt of Broadway with all her heart but the idea of abandoning her own child would kill her. She had dreamt of a successful Broadway career, marriage and when she was ready and had won a bunch of Tony's and maybe an Olivier award she would have kids.

She knew it was a bit idealistic but she's allowed to dream right.

How could her life be so together yet so fallen apart?

Like the saying the moment your career starts going right, everything else in your life starts to crumble

Rachel squeezed her eyes shut, stumbled back until she hit shower wall, slit down the wall and curled up on the floor as hysterical sobs racked through her body.

After a little while Rachel recovered and with a firm nod she got up and got on with her morning.

After her vigorous morning routine, she changed into a crisp white dress and a pair of ballet flats. She brushed her hair before putting it in a neat pony tail.

Rachel walked down the stairs and into the kitchen to see her dad Leroy making breakfast while her other father was sitting at the kitchen counter working on his laptop with a stern expression. She sat down on the stool next to him. They both looked up concern in their eyes.

She smiled tightly. And her dad Hiram shut his laptop and turned to her while her other father Leroy was leaning on the counter between them.

"Are you feeling better about the whole Shelby thing" Hiram asked gently

"No" Rachel said stubbornly

"Well we should probably explain" Leroy said

"Okay" Rachel said incredulously has she gladly took the plate of vegan pancakes from her father, she hadn't eaten at all yesterday thanks to Finn and she was starving.

"Well as you are already well aware after being married about a year we wanted a child, so we put an ad in the paper and got a lot of responses, so chose Shelby because she had a flawless health record, great voice and she was a beautiful young lady, so we chose her. She signed a contract saying she couldn't contact you without our consent until you turn eighteen" Leroy said.

"Then I was offered an amazing eighteen month contract job on Wall Street and we knew you would love it, then you got the part of Cosette on Broadway and we saw her in the audience while we were watching you so we made a deal that when you were older and going to a musical theatre college or NYADA that she could meet you and offer some support in New York city especially in your teens and college years we thought there would be things you rather not talk to us about." Hiram continued.

"Then last week when you were excepted into NYADA we contacted her because we'd like you do have a parental figure in New York when were not there and who betters to support you through a musical theatre school than Shelby Corcoran" Leroy finished

"Where is she anyway?" Rachel asked them looking around

"She's staying in a hotel. She wanted you to have your space. And she's doing some workshops in Akron today but were all going to dinner at Breadstix tonight, so dress up" Hiram said going back to his work.

"Fine" Rachel huffed

"And Cello" Hiram called- they had nicknamed her Cello because it was a play on her name and she makes beautiful music. "Don't be too hard on Shelby; it killed her to be away from you and she had dozen of lawyers take a crack at your case, but its full prove, your father drew it up and had it check by a lot of his co-workers"

Rachel nodded and headed upstairs.

* * *

Rachel spent the day watching Shelby Corcoran videos on the internet, interviews, performances and award speeches.

7 o'clock arrived and the Berry family arrived at Breadstix to see Shelby in a booth in the back, she saw them and waved.

The Berry men were both wearing suits, Hiram was in a black suit with a white shirt while Leroy was wearing a brown-grey suit with an orange shirt.

Rachel looked up and so Shelby appraising her.

Rachel was wearing a strapless dress with a white top with a line down the middle and one on each side, a high waist with a nude coloured skirt; she had matching high heels and a handbag, she had worn her lucky star necklace, and some small gold flower earrings. She had considered wearing Shelby's bracelet but instead chose a pretty gold bangle that she got for her birthday from Kurt who unsurprisingly the only one who remembered her birthday and that was in December when they hadn't been particularly good friends.

She looked at Shelby who was wearing a long sleeved black dress that reached a little below her knees, black tight, some long high heeled black boots, she was wearing a black rose necklace, matching bracelet and some pretty Onex earrings.

She felt out a hand "Hi Rachel, I'm Shelby. I'm your mom" she said awkwardly

"Hi" Rachel squeaked nervously

"Come on you to let's sit down" Hiram said. Rachel sat down first and Shelby sat opposite her, Leroy sat next to Shelby and Hiram next to Rachel.

Rachel thought the deep mother daughter talk would wait until the ordered.

She was wrong.

"Rachel, I know I may never be a mother to you, but I hope that we can become close friends and that I can help you prepare for NYADA at the very least" Shelby said leaning forwards slightly.

"I hope so too"

They ordered drinks and the personal questions began.

_Oh Joy_

"So Rachel, your fathers tell me that your dating someone called Finn"

"Yes" she said awkwardly

"What's he like" Shelby asked

"He's really sweet, but forgetful. He's on the football team so his reputation means a lot to him. He's the male lead of our glee club but he didn't get past the Ohio NYADA auditions." Rachel said before sipping her coke.

"You two had a fight yesterday" Shelby said softly. It wasn't a question

"Yeah. He asked me not to go to NYADA and I said no and we had a huge fight" she murmured

"What songs did you sing for your NYADA audition?"

"Um for the Ohio one I sang "My Man" from Funny Girl, then for the New York auditions I sang "Don't Forget me" from Bombshell and then for top 20 I sang "So in Love" from Kiss me Kate for my solo and then me and my partner Jesse sang "As long as your mine"" Shelby smiled it was her claim to fame ""A little fall of rain" for acting and then we did a dance to "Fix you"." Rachel said

"Who choreographed?" Shelby asked

"Dakota Stanley" Rachel moaned and Shelby shuddered.

Rachel's phone buzzed.

"Sorry. I thought I turned it off" Rachel apologized

"No, go right ahead" Shelby smiled. Rachel checked her phone and smiled.

_Hey, got my NYADA package in mail today_. _What about you? –Jesse _

_Me too. At dinner with dads I'll talk to you 2morrow-Rachelx_

"Okay, I'm back" she said putting her phone into her bag.

"Who was that?" her Dad L asked

"Oh a friend from the NYADA auditions. Jesse. My partner from call-backs. He got in too he was asking if I got my information pack. Which I got this morning"

"What's he like?" Shelby asked

* * *

_Shelby's Pov _

"What's he like?" Shelby asked

She saw Rachel smile slightly. "Um. He's nice and considerate and memorized my coffee order first time. He's insanely talented and committed to his dreams. He's a total slave driver but he's really sweet and he doesn't call me names or ask me change. I can see myself being really close friends with him for a long time"

Shelby smiled subtly. She could see the signs. She was falling. Hard and fast Shelby just prayed this boy was straight, because she'd been down that road before and it ended with a lot of alcohol and sleeping with an obnoxious asshole.

Just the thought Rachel going through life's mistakes, hurt her deeply. Not just out of a deep sense of protectiveness but the idea of Rachel alone in tears without her there to comfort her just about killed her.

* * *

A few hours later they strange little family were sitting in the Berry Living room they had played board games and watched Funny Girl. Rachel and Shelby were getting on well; Rachel was fascinated in all the backstage drama of Broadway and Shelby was more than willing to reveal a few sob stories.

No she wasn't ready to cry on her shoulder or talk to her about really private things but she could see herself becoming close with Shelby.

As the night drew to a close Shelby said awkwardly "Um I got you something. Considerate it your birthday and Hanukah presents for the last few years"

She handed Rachel a white envelope.

Rachel opened it and saw it was a letter from NYADA. She unfolded it and her mouth dropped

_Dear Miss R Berry _

_We have confirmed your apartment at the NYADA dorms and it has been fully paid for your complete three years here at NYADA._

_You have as requested by your legal guardians Apartment 264 in the main building. _

_You are in the Musical theatre housing block. _

_Animals are prohibited but if mistreated or neglected will be sent home. _

_You will receive your key on the first day of early admission._

_There will be several furniture, wallpaper and paint catalogues in your apartment. _

_You will not be able to stay in the apartment for the early admission. _

_Your legal guardians need to attend the first day at least but it is recommended for the whole trip._

_Yours sincerely _

_NYADA administration office _

"You bought me an apartment?" Rachel asked thoroughly confused.

"You're my only child and I can't have anymore. If I can't spend money on my only child then what can I spend it on" she said softly

"But-"

"Don't sweat the small stuff and when you've been working on Broadway as long as I have, it's all small stuff" Shelby said snapping back into her business voice

"Okay" Rachel resigned she looked at her dads who were smiling at the pair.

"Well it seems like your father and I are coming with you" Hiram said after scanning the letter.

Later that evening Rachel lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Meeting Shelby had been amazing but it had made her see Finn's side of the argument, it hurt a lot to left for something that you deemed more important than them and for her especially she was sixteen and she could go to a musical theatre college or just try auditioning for a few years. She didn't actually need to go to NYADA to be successful. As much as she dreamt of NYADA sometimes you need to let things go.

* * *

"Mr Schuester can I say something" Rachel asked timidly in glee club

"Sure Rachel, go ahead"

Rachel stood up, smoothed out her dress and walked to the front.

"After much consideration, I have decided to decline my acceptance into NYADA" she said calmly

"Oh my god. Are you Pregnant?" Kurt asked dramatically

"No"

"Are you fathers dying?"

"No"

"Are you dying?"

"No"

"Then I can see no possible reason to not go to NYADA"

"I just don't want to leave my friends and my Family. My life is perfectly balanced here, I have perfect grades I take six different dance classes, I'm the captain of sixteen different school clubs and glee"

"Rachel, I love these guys to pieces and will miss my life at home but I'm going and I didn't even get my first choice of department. You got into Musical theatre, how you can pass this up?" Kurt rampaged

Rachel eyes flickered to Finn who was looking triumphant.

"NO. Rachel just no. You can't give this up for Finn. He's cute but he gets around Rachel. In the last year he has been through Santana, Brittany, Quinn and you. In another year who knows who he'll be with but it probably won't be you."

"My mind's made up Kurt" Rachel said dismissively

"Yo no puedo creer que no vamos a NYADA, Rachel eso es una locura. Usted nunca tendrá una mejor oportunidad de Broadway que esto." Kurt huffed in Spanish. (I can't believe you're not going to NYADA, Rachel that's insane. You will never get a better chance at Broadway than this.)

They were sitting in Mr. Schuester's Spanish class arguing.

"Kurt no me empuje en esto. Ya es bastante difícil ya" Rachel retorted (Kurt don't push me on this. It's hard enough already)

"No sería difícil mantenerse si realmente quería." Kurt snapped (It wouldn't be hard to stay if you actually wanted to.)

"Rachel, can you come to my office please" Miss Pillsbury called from the front.

Rachel stood up and followed her to her office. Miss Pillsbury gestured to the chair in front of her desk as she sat down behind it.

"Rachel, Mr Schuester told me you were dropping out of NYADA." Miss Pillsbury said "Would you like to explain why"

"Well, I have a life here that I'm not sure I want lose. My family, friends, perfect grades, dance lessons, glee, Finn" Rachel trailed off.

"Rachel you can have perfect grades at NYADA, it certainly won't be lacking in dance lessons, your family will love you no matter what and if your friends aren't prepared to accept your decisions and shun you then they're not very good friends are they?"

"No but Finn-"

"Rachel if you stay for Finn, there is going to be so much pressure on your relationship, more than there should in a teenage relationship. And if you stay and you regret it you're going to resent him for holding you back from something that could be the best adventure of your life."

"What if it's not?" Rachel whispered "What if it's too much and I can't take it"

"Well I personally think you should endure it until it becomes what you dreamt it would be but if you can't do that then you just come home and go back to your old life no-one would think less of you."

Rachel sat staring at the floor frowning. Since when did she need Finn's blessing to follow her heart, she had to do what was best for her, he wouldn't even hesitate to what he wanted without a thought to her, Quinn maybe but not her.

"Thanks Miss Pillsbury. I'm going to go tell Finn" she murmured before getting up to go.

She saw Finn and walked up to him.

"Finn we need to talk" she said solemnly "I'm going to NYADA. Miss Pillsbury has helped me understand that if we truly want this to work then we can't hold each other back. If you want to continue long distance then great, if not I understand and hope we can still be friends"

Finn looked at her "Fine, go off to New York and be an obnoxious Drama queen there" He said be slamming his locker shut.

Rachel allowed a few tears to slip as he walked away from her before going to find Kurt.

* * *

A few weeks later the school year was over, the hotel suite was booked, the train tickets were bought and the Berry Family was on their way to New York.

Rachel helped her fathers pull her three suitcases onto the train, she knew it sounded frivolous but she didn't want to have to take it all at once at the beginning of the school year, plus who knew what they'd be doing. Shelby had insisted on taking her shopping, which Rachel was excited about because she hadn't done much shopping in New York on her last few visits.

Rachel followed her fathers along the corridor and sat down by the window.

About an hour in through the Journey her phone buzzed.

_Plane delayed like four hours, bored out of my brains here, how about you?- Jesse_

_Started on a 12 hour train journey an hour ago-Rachel x_

_Cool 11 hours of texting then.-Jesse_

_No I want to sleep in a bit-Rachel_

_Oh so I'm not enough for you, go on Rach twist the knife in deeper, I'm wounded-Jesse :(_

_Drama Queen-Rx_

_Says you-J!_

* * *

A few hours later the train arrived in New York and an exhausted Rachel Berry stumbled of the train exhausted. It was about three in the morning and surprisingly Shelby was there to pick them up.

Rachel had hugged her then leaned on her for support the whole way to her car and then when they were driving the slow, traffic filled roads of New York Rachel was out like a light.

She dreamt of one thing, the same thing she had dreamt off last time.

The stranger still hadn't shown his face but now clearly visible was a head of curly brown hair.

Meanwhile her phone buzzed

_Sorry. Let give long distance a shot. I love you-Finn _

**Hi that's it. Please review it reminds me that people actually want to read about it and it's worth the late night writing sessions, the more reviews the more obsessive I am and the faster I write. **


	6. Welcome to New York

**NYADA**

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee or we all know Finchel would be 6 feet under.**

**White demoness: It said that they got back together I just couldn't take the nauseous torture of writing positive Finchel I quote from chapter 1 **_"__Rachel shifted under Finn's arm to take her letter. Finn had apparently realised that he wanted to be with her after the rejection of Santana and Brittany." _

**Thank you to all my reviewers especially who have reviewed for more than one chapter, it's really cool. **

**Sorry it took so long but here it is. **

**Chapter 6**

At around eight in the morning Rachel Berry's eyes fluttered open and she groaned. She felt someone rubbing her arm gently.

"Time to get up baby" Shelby cooed softly.

"What time is it?" she yawned

"About eight" Shelby said "Now come on. We have to buy you a complete new wardrobe and you have a NYADA meeting at three then the freshman mixer at six so we need to get going"

"Fine, I'll be ready in half an hour" Rachel said grapping some clothes and headed into the bathroom.

She exited her bedroom and found Shelby in the dining area of the suite.

Shelby was wearing a black skirt with a sleeveless purple top, black tights, matching jewellery and some high heeled ankle boots. She had a coat draped over her arm and a handbag in her hands.

Rachel grabbed her light blue handbag and grey coat before following Shelby out.

* * *

Shelby stopped at a tall department store with an amazing colourful window and nodded happily before dragging her in.

A blonde lady in her mid-twenties rushed over to Shelby.

"Good morning Miss Corcoran, is there anything I can get you"

"No Andrea I'm just shopping with my daughter" she said and the blonde's eyes bugged out "I assume we still have the confidence of trust right, because I don't want the press knowing quite yet"

"Of course ma'am"

Shelby walked through the store with Rachel and Andrea following her Shelby reached the cosmetics and began picking out things she thought Rachel needed.

Rachel choked at the amount Shelby had picked up. That couldn't all be for her. There was about thirty lipsticks and glosses alone.

Andrea was holding a basket which Shelby had been filling up with make-up. Shelby found a large make-up box to go with it and put it in the basket.

Next Shelby dragged her to the shoe section.

"You're what a seven?" Shelby asked

"Six" Rachel said and Shelby began handing the blonde shop assistant shoes, by the time she finally stopped the assistant was holding about twelve pairs of shoes. And struggling

"Shelby isn't this a bit much, I don't need that many shoes" Rachel complied

"No, you need this stuff trust me. Besides I like spending money on you it makes me feel involved in your life" Shelby said softly

Rachel sighed and nodded

"And I'm buying more than twelve pairs just not all of them here. Your NYADA apartment has a huge closet"

They waited while Andrea put their stuff by the checkout, so she wouldn't have to carry everything around because Rachel was pretty sure one person couldn't hold that much wait.

When she returned Shelby took off and Rachel and Andrea followed close behind.

"You're about a six right?" Shelby asked as they arrived at the clothes at last. Rachel nodded and Shelby started looking she pulled stuff of the rack and holding it up against Rachel.

When she was finished, Andrea was holding an impressive heap of clothes.

Shelby nodded before walking to the bags. Unfortunately she picked up about ten. She led them back to check out and Rachel was horrified at the price.

"I did say a whole new wardrobe" Shelby said as she handed over her card and arranged to have the clothes delivered to the hotel

To Rachel's horror Shelby dragged her to about six other department stores spending as much there as the first.

When they reached the final stop it wasn't an anonymous department store it was a small hole in the wall dress shop.

"This is a big secret among celebrities, not very well known but it has some of the best brands and designers." Shelby said as she led Rachel in.

Rachel looked around to see a large room filled with pretty dresses, there were pictures on the walls of famous people who had visited. She could see Shelby, Kristen Chenoweth, Patti LaPone, Bernadette Peters and many more of idols on the walls.

"Rachel this is my friend Gustavo. He owns the place" Shelby said. Rachel looked up to see a tall, dark haired, well-dressed man.

"It's nice to meet you. You're as your mother" Gustavo said

"Thank you. Your shop is amazing" Rachel said

"Is there something you ladies need?" he said rubbing his hand together.

"Rachel's the NYADA freshman mixer party tonight and she needs a dress" Shelby said

He stepped back to look at her. After a few moments he smiled and walked to the left side and pulled out a grey dress cover.

"Go try this on" he said and directed her to the dressing room.

Rachel shut the curtain behind her and opened the dress bag and her breath hitched.

* * *

Rachel got out of her cab, paid the driver and walked into the main NYADA building.

After shopping with Shelby and having lunch with her dads Rachel had started a Barbra Streisand biography.

Rachel walked into the lobby and the receptionist pointed her to a seating area where the others were sitting.

She was the last there but Miss Tibideaux wasn't there yet. She saw Jesse and sat next to him.

He gave her a quick hug.

"Hey how are you" he asked

"Fine."

"Just fine?"

"Family stuff plus Finn and I broke up" she said

"Good for you, he was an idiot"

"No he wasn't" she said

"Why'd you break up?"

"He asked me not to come" she said "And when I did he decided not to bother with long distance"

"Like I said, idiot."

"What about you?" she asked trying to move away from her love life

"I won a national championship" he said causally

"That's awesome" she said hugging him again

Just then Miss Tibideaux arrived.

"Hello. Congratulations on getting in. Now we are going to give you a makeover to make you look not also school appropriate but also dynamic enough to be on Broadway" she said "Okay follow me"

She led through to a set of elevators. "Girls in one, boys in the other. Floor -1" Rachel walked into an elevator with a blonde pretty girl and dark haired Latina girl.

They arrived into what looked like a spa.

"Welcome to the NYADA salon and spa." Miss Tibideaux said

"Okay Maria, you're over there." She said gesturing to a black haired woman who was cleaning scissors "Rachel you're next to her. Susan next to Rachel. Boys you're in the other room Jesse to the left, then Blaine, then Anthony. Okay go!"

Rachel went over to her place to find a pretty girl with red hair getting out scissors and some hair dye.

"Hi I'm Vanessa; I'll be doing your hair."

"Rachel. What exactly will you be doing"

"We're going to keep the length, maybe a little shorter, add some volume, give you bangs and dip dye the ends a lighter colour to make it bit edgier. Cool?"

"Okay" Rachel stuttered

"Great"

Vanessa layered her hair and cut it a little. It reached a little over half way down her back; she did cut the bangs before wrapping the ends in tin foil and dye.

After having dye wrapped in hair between foil leaned back bored waiting for the chemicals to cook. The blonde girl next to her was doing the same.

"Hi I'm Maria" she said. She had fair skin, pretty blue eyes and hair was in foil like Rachel's but Rachel could see blonde

"Rachel. What are they doing to you?"

"Lighter highlights, to make me look more dramatic" she said

"Same but for me it was edgy. I don't think it will look edgy but it'll probably look good"

"So you know the curly haired one right?"

"Yeah he was my partner. Do you know anyone?"

"Yeah Anthony was my Partner."

"Interesting. Do you know anyone else in NYADA?"

"My twin sister got into the drama department. But she's really pissed off about it because she didn't make top twenty in Musical theatre though so I'd stay clear off her"

"Noted. My friend Kurt got into fashion department" Rachel said "I owe him a lot. I wasn't actually going to come but he and the guidance councillor talked me out of it"

Maria's mouth was hanging open "Why wouldn't you of come, you lived in Iowa"

"Ohio"

"That's even worse. Seriously what could have kept you there?"

"My boyfriend asked me to stay"

"I hope you dumped his sorry ass"

"No he dumped me because he didn't want to try long distance"

"Good"

Just then Vanessa came over took out the foil out of her hair and blow-dried it.

"Okay you're done" She said pulling the cloth of the mirror and showing her.

Her hair was neat and looked smoother than before, she pretty bangs that shaped her face and at about the collar bone her hair had caramel highlights.

She loved it.

She thanked Vanessa, waved goodbye to Maria before leaving.

* * *

Later that afternoon Rachel was in the hotel room getting ready for the freshman mixer party. Apparently it was one of the biggest party's on NYADA although there would be no inappropriate drinking or hooking up since it was for sixteen year olds and their parents. The whole year group was going to be there along with a few juniors and seniors to "offer advice and encouragement" which meant telling the NYADA horror stories and stealing some alcohol from the free bar.

Rachel was dressed in a pretty one shoulder white dress that ended above her knees. It had a beaded bodice and a full skirt that looked a little like a tutu. She matched it with white peep toed shoes with some flowers and leaves around the heel and a sparkly rhinestone covered clutch, which held her phone hotel key, iPod and purse. She had small pearl earrings on, a bracelet made up of silver flowers and her signature gold star necklace. **(Picture on Profile)**

Her hair was down in neat waves around her face with a few pieces carefully pinned back.

Her fathers were waiting for on the Sofa. Hiram was wearing a crisp black suit with a white shirt underneath while Leroy was wearing a grey suit with a black shirt.

They saw her and stood up grinning.

"You look Lovely sweetie" Leroy grinned

After her fathers took what felt like hundreds of pictures they set of for NYADA.

Rachel climbed out of the cab and looked up at the large skyscraper she would be calling home for the next three years.

"Ready to go in Cello" Hiram said putting his arm around her shoulder and giving her a little squeeze.

"Yes" she said with a confident nod.

They walked through the main door to see a boy a little older than Rachel by a cloak room. He took their coats and gave her father Leroy the key.

Rachel walked into the assembly hall to see a beautifully decorated room with streamers hanging from the sealing. There was a large dance floor with large tables circular tables surrounding it.

In one corner there was a long table with the heads of departments. With a queue in front of each. The music department had the longest and musical theatre was shortest with only two families in the cue. They joined and Rachel saw Susan's family at the front dealing with their paperwork and Anthony was behind her.

Anthony's mother turned around when she noticed them and began talking to her dads Anthony's father soon joined in. Anthony turned and looked at her.

"Your Jesse's friend right?" he asked

"Yeah. Your Maria's friend right?"

"You could say that yes" he smirked

"Tony, it's our turn now" His mother called. He mock saluted and kissed her hand.

"Are all the boys here so annoyingly flirtatious" Leroy smirked

"It's a performing arts school were all overly dramatic and too confident for our own good." Rachel grinned

"Stop, your poor little father can't take it. I wonder if they have celibacy club here" he teased anxiously.

"Daddy" she laughed

"What? My baby is going to live in New York in her teen years with a bunch of hormonal boys who keep flirting with her" Leroy said indignantly

"Dad, we're going to working none stop. I think if we get a minute of free time, we'll be more focused on sleeping than sleeping around" she huffed

"Good. Because I'm letting you live alone so you can play slutty college girl. You're either going to work your but off or come home" he said sternly.

"Daddy, who are you talking to? I'll kill it. You have no need to worry"

"Come on you two. We're up" Hiram said shaking his head at the pair before going up to the desk.

"Rachel Berry" Hiram said as the approached the table.

"Okay here's the parental permission form giving permission for Rachel to attend NYADA" they both signed it then she continued "Okay here's the contract giving us guardianship over her while she is in our care" They both signed it "Okay here is the medical form we need you to fill in" they filled it in and signed it "and finally the contract that says that you cannot withdraw her without her permission" they hesitated but signed.

"Is that it?" he asked

"We now have to give Rachel all the information she needs. Okay here is your rooming information, there are two keys there, and I recommend that you give a key to a friend who lives in the same block as you in case you get locked out. Here's your map of the school, your options sheet for a non-musical theatre creative subject, equipment list, list of your teachers, school rules, dress code etc. Everything you need is there. Okay. Great" she said and they walked away.

They walked into the main part of the room and looked around.

"Rachel!" she turned around to see Kurt standing there in a grey suit.

"Kurt, hey" she said hugging him

"You look awesome, I'm actually very proud of you. Your hair is amazing I love the bangs"

"Thanks, you too"

"Did you get your stuff yet?"

"Yeah, just now"

"It's so overwhelming isn't it? I can hardly breathe"

"Rachel!" another voice called and Rachel saw Jesse waving from a table filled with the whole musical theatre group.

"I let you go to your table but call me tomorrow morning. Okay"

"Okay" she said hugging him before he bound off.

"Come on that's my friend Jesse" Rachel said to her fathers before walking over.

Jesse stood up and waited for to arrive.

She looked him up and down silently appraising him.

He was wearing a black suit with a white shirt with the top button undone. He had a black vest on over his shirt and his jacket was hanging on his neatly. He had matched it with black converses and a gold watch. His hair had been cut a little shorter and looked more controlled than before.

She noticed that he was silently doing the same.

She reached him and he pulled her into a hug.

"You look beautiful" he said pulling away

"You too" she grinned "Very handsome"

"I try"

"Oh these are my Dads, Leroy and Hiram"

"Hi nice to meet you" he said shaking their hands "These are my parents Elizabeth and Caleb"

Neither looked up or made any contact.

"Hey I saved you guy's seats" Jesse said pulling out Rachel's chair for her.

Jesse sat on Rachel's left with his parents on his left and Rachel's dads on her right.

"Hey have you met everyone yet?" Jesse asked

"I've met you, Anthony and Maria"

"Okay Rachel this is Susan. Susan this is Rachel" Susan was a pretty Latina girl with long black hair that was currently in a high ponytail. She was wearing a short blue dress and matching heels and jewellery.

"Hi nice to meet you" Rachel said

"You too." She said sweetly

"And this is Blaine" Jesse said gesturing to a black haired boy who waved

"Hi"

"Hey"

About an hour later they had all eaten and the adults were making small talk the kids were starting to get bored.

Anthony and Maria had gone off dancing already.

"Wanna go dance?" Jesse asked her offering a hand.

"Okay" she said taking his hand.

He led her to the dance floor and unlike the last time they danced together it wasn't a mad dance with high kicks and painful chorography. It was just them twirling around and having fun which was nice and fun.

About two hours later they had finished dancing and Rachel and Jesse were sitting next to each other talking randomly.

"So your glee director is always going on about that everyone needs a chance in the spotlight shit and sprouting stuff about doing the right thing but he blackmailed a student to joining. I'm pretty sure that's illegal"

"And twenty-four hour rehearsals, failing triple flippers and spying isn't" she smirked

"We at least get results your team has so far beaten a deaf choir and a group of criminals"

"Well you're leaving anyway so you don't need to do that anymore"

"Weird right. I moving to the most challenging performing arts school in the world and I'm going to be sleeping more than I have in the last two years."

"God I'm going to be the walking dead" Rachel moaned pressing her face into his shoulder.

He kissed her forehead before murmuring "The dancing dead. It'll be like weekend at Bernie's" he laughed

A sobering ringtone went off and Rachel pulled away.

"Do you mind if I…"

"Yeah go ahead"

Rachel picked up her phone and pressed accept.

"Hello"

"_Hi Rachel, its Finn"_

"I'm kind of busy at the moment Finn"

"I just need like ten minutes. Please"

"Fine you have five"

"I've been trying to contact you all day. I changed my mind. I want to try long distance. I'll try anything if means I don't have to lose you" he said

"Really you mean it because the boys here are pretty cute so if you dump me I have a lot of very attractive possibilities for rebound." She said teasingly

"I know Rachel, it's just that I'm not use to the possibility of you not being there, even when I don't want you, your there waiting for me to come to my senses."

Rachel smiled

"I love you and I would do anything to be with you again"

"Okay I forgive you"

"So are we together again?"

"Yeah, I guess we are. I should probably get back to the party"

"Okay I love you. Bye"

"I love you too. Bye"

* * *

_Jesse's Pov_

"Yeah, I guess we are. I should probably get back to the party"

Pause.

"I love you too. Bye"

A long dull aching began to seep through his body. He had no idea what he even felt for the girl yet he still felt a vile sense of hurt and abandonment that she had gotten back together with him.

Jesse was allowed to be confused about his feelings, he was a teenage boy, he didn't need to go into a relationship in love with the girl he just needed to be attracted to her with some underlying emotional bond. People got together with less.

This so called Finchel had only gotten together because she idolized him and he had a big ego. Then she grew better than him and he had someone to name drop. He'd screw it up in weeks.

_That's it _

He would royally screw up eventually and in the meantime Jesse could figure out his feelings for her and they could bond and after Finn was out of the way Rachel would see the guy who held her when she cried and listened when she bitched about him after fights.

_It was perfect. _

_All he needed was patience and knowing Finn it wouldn't take long. _

"We got back together" Rachel chirped happily.

"Great" he said hugging her, hiding his smirk.

_If it's a waiting game, count him in. _

_Challenge accepted_

**Don't hate me. I still loathe Finchel with a rather obsessive burning. **

**You can find links to all the outfits on my profile. **

**Please review, pretty please. And don't be afraid to write a large review there the best ones.**


	7. authors note

**Author's note**

**Hi just I few notices and responses. **

**As pointed out by TeebsSingerWriter my story had a lot of mistakes and repeated words, missing words, incorrect paragraphing etc. So I've through and fixed all the mistakes I found so far. If I do need to go over a chapter again to make corrections please tell me I'd rather be given ****constructive**** criticism than for anyone to stop reading (At least for that reason).**

**In response to the anonymous review posted a few days ago, I could have a crying gag and never post again but that's not really my thing so to address the comment for any other readers with the same view on last chapters ending. Rachel has gone back to Finn for less and I as I was going to reveal in the next chapter, when you uproot your life and move to New York you will cling on to something familiar, like a relationship and it is necessary to have an obstacle between Jesse and Rachel because if their relationship didn't have so many obstacles then they wouldn't be as strong and incredible as they are. And to the anonymous reviewer "I don't hate you, I just wish you could of found a more helpful and less hurtful way of commenting"**

**On a more positive and less defensive note Thank you to kittiyloveranime, michelle, TeebsSingerWriter for reviewing and being nice. It's easy to fault then compliment. So thanks. **

**and I apologise for the rant but I didn't want anyone-else to judge my work unfairly due to an event not to their liking. Although if Finchel last the whole school year then you can be as cruel as you wish.**

**I know how annoying authors notes are and I'm sorry. **

**Chapter seven will be up soon.**

**~Dark Lunatic~**


	8. Leaving Ohio

**Hi… I'm back. **

**Sorry it took so long and let me reassure you it wasn't because I went into depression or writers block, it's just that my schoolwork kind of piled up and it's only been three weeks. I kept starting and then losing my train of thought the next day because I can't stay up all night writing. OMG saw glee episodes one to three. Eeeeeppppp. Got really inspired about when term starts but I'm trying not to rush into the parts of the story I'm excited about. **

**Question should I have a Rachel/Brody friendship because I like his character so far but I just don't think I would like them together as much as StBerry but I'm not sure if it's as necessary in this story since she has Jesse, Kurt and Shelby with Finn at home,**

**Loved Marley and Jake's characters but I don't think they're going to be in this story, their too young and so far neither had shown an interest in musical theatre. **

**Please keep reviewing I know people assume that if you review once it makes me really happy and it does but it's also really depressing when you go from twelve reviews for a chapter to two. **

**On with the Drama.**

Rachel sighed as she placed her folded clothes in her one of her suitcases, she was leaving Ohio tomorrow and all she had to do was make it through the leaving party tonight and she would be on her way.

Rachel pulled a pretty strapless red dress that reached just below her knees, with a pair of red high heels and a matching red handbag. She brushed her hair, leaving it loose around her face.

She pulled her stylish brown coat out of her closet before running downstairs to find her dads waiting impatiently by the front door, both in suits.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm ready. Let's go" she rushed, as she dashed to her father H's stylish Porsche. They sighed before following her to the car."

Rachel sat in back and pulled her phone out.

_21 missed calls, 14 messages. _

~()~Flashback~()~

_Rachel sighed with exasperation as she walked into the auditorium with her large suitcase. _

_Camping!_

_Seriously!_

_Whose bright idea was it to take a bunch of performing obsessed workaholics camping?_

_The last week had been incredible, there had been an extensive tour of the school, she had seen her room which was just down the hall from Jesse's, she had seen four Broadway shows and found a few nice of campus shops and cafés for during term._

_She had been astonished when she saw her apartment, it was a beautiful apartment with a wood themed living room/dining room, a pretty kitchen next door, she had a large bedroom, with a white marble floor which Rachel loved but decided to match with a rug. An enormous bathroom which Rachel fell in love with and a closet that would make a girl weep. To top it off she had a balcony, incredible views and a small spare bedroom for when her dads visited. _

_Unfortunately the students had to leave while the rooms were painted and the carpets changed meaning. Camping!_

_Well, you could hardly call it camping but they would be staying in cabins in the middle of the woods, but they'd be learning how to build a fire, make a survival den, cooking outside, archery, swimming, races and big bonfires with the whole year there. _

_While it had potential to be enjoyable, Rachel just couldn't see the point. Jesse thought it was to give them decent antidotes for the countless interviews they would give when they inevitably become stars. _

_Rachel placed her bag on the huge stack of suitcases and went over to where Jesse, Blaine and Kurt were sitting._

"_Hi guys" she said as she sat down next Kurt._

"_Rach, did you hear it's like a seventeen hour bus ride" Blaine moaned_

"_Really? Where are we even going?" Rachel groaned resting her head on Kurt's shoulder. _

"_Some place in Tennessee I think" Jesse said while flicking through a ballet magazine boredly. _

_A tall aging man took to the stage. _

"_Hello students. I'm Principal Bane. I have extremely high standards and low tolerance, so you need to fulfil all your commitments. You've been warned, anyone who can't keep up with school-work, you will be kicked out. If your department leader decides to do so, you will be cut and replaced. If you get into any criminal charges you will be considered for expulsion." He said and Rachel gulped. _

"_On a lighter note, for the next week you will be staying in Crystal springs. This a nice camping place in Tennessee. If you make it through the first year than you'll return there next summer. This is not just an enjoyable week but a completion. You will be in teams, we will divide the larger departments but the smaller departments can stay together as one team. Unfortunately to get to Tennessee it will be a seventeen hour bus journey. We are going to be driving it all in one go, so you can be at the camp tomorrow morning."_

_There was an eruption of groans and boos came from the crowd. _

"_Alright , Alright enough of that." Bane chuckled. "Alright you'll be split by departments. On bus one Fashion, dance and the A-J of music. And on Bus two Drama and Musical theatre and the rest of music. Okay everyone get in a pair with someone you're willing to spend the day with, collect your luggage and find your seat" _

"_Partner?" Jesse asked her cockily. _

"_Okay" she said cheerfully _

* * *

"_Rach wake up" _

"_Rach, were here"_

"_Rach"_

"_Rachel"_

"_Rachel"_

"_Oh my god there's Barbra Streisand!"_

"_Where?" Rachel said her eyes flashing open. _

"_Seriously. Could you be anymore stereotypical?" Jesse said with his eyebrow raised. _

"_Shut up!" she said smacking him on the back of his head. _

"_You keep bullying me" he sobbed mockingly. _

"_Ohh we're here" she said and he rolled his eyes. _

_Rachel looked out the window and saw a beautiful a mountain, surrounded by a thick forest with a beautiful river running through. _

_Welcome to Crystal Springs._

_~()~Present time~()~_

Rachel tossed her phone back into her bag angrily, before climbing out of the car and following her Dads into Breadstix.

There was some loud pop music thumbing that could be heard from the car park.

The room was decorated from ceiling to floor, streamers, balloons, a huge banner saying _Good Bye and Good luck Rachel and Kurt_, some of the tables had been pushed to the side to create a large dance floor and the small stage Breadstix had built a few years back had a bejewelled microphone which Rachel had always loved.

It was extremely tacky but Rachel appreciated the effort.

There was a lot of McKinley high here, Rachel's teachers, her friends, people who ignored her, people from her various other clubs and even some of the people who through slushies at her.

She grinned wildly and ran over to the large table where the New Directions were cramped together.

"Oh my god, this is awesome" she said as hugged Mercedes.

"Great, you're here we can begin" Tina said as Mr Schue put a big, pink, tacky feather bower around her neck and a party hat on her head. She looked over at Kurt and saw him in identical party gear. Mercedes dragged her over to a big booth in front of the stage, she sat down and Kurt was thrown down next to her.

"God this is like a bachelorette party" Kurt huffed with a grin on his face. Rachel laughed and rested her head on his shoulder as Mr Schue took to the stage.

"I'm going to be kicking off the speeches tonight and singing the first number." Mr Schue said into the microphone

"When I first met Rachel and Kurt I was a little intrigued and very scared" he said and everyone laughed "Kurt was a diva, walking around, dressing how he liked, not caring about what anyone else thought." Kurt hid his face in his hands and groaned at some of the clothes he'd worn "He was a New direction, a cheerio, an A star student and a good role model" He said and Kurt smiled.

"And then there's Rachel, though I hate to say it, Rachel is the most talented girl I've ever met and she also has this drive that I've never seen in someone her age before, she's the heart of New Directions and I don't know how we'll cope without her. Rachel is the first person in Ohio to get into the musical theatre program in sixteen years. If there's ever been a student I'm most proud of it's you, you've battled through McKinley and now you're in the big leagues"

"To Rachel and Kurt, Ohio isn't a bigger enough stage for you so I hope New York is" he said raising his glass "To Kurt and Rachel"

_All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go_

_I'm standin' here outside your door_

_I hate to wake you up to say goodbye_

_But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn_

_The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn_

_Already I'm so lonesome, I could die_

_So kiss me and smile for me_

_Tell me that you'll wait for me_

_Hold me like you'll never let me go'_

_Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane_

_Don't know when I'll be back again_

_Oh babe, I hate to go_

_There's so many times I've let you down_

_So many times I've played around_

_I tell you now, they don't mean a thing_

_Every place I go, I'll think of you_

_Every song I sing, I'll sing for you_

_When I come back I'll bring your wedding ring_

_So kiss me and smile for me_

_Tell me that you'll wait for me_

_Hold me like you'll never let me go'_

_Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane_

_Don't know when I'll be back again_

_Oh babe, I hate to go_

_Now the time has come to leave you_

_One more time let me kiss you_

_Close your eyes, I'll be on my way_

_Dream about the days to come_

_When I won't have to leave alone_

_About the times I won't have to say  
So kiss me and smile for me_

_Tell me that you'll wait for me_

_Hold me like you'll never let me go_

_'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane_

_Don't know when I'll be back again_

_ Oh baby, I hate to go _

_'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane_

_Don't know when I'll be back again_

_Oh babe, I hate to go_

He walked off the stage and Kurt and Rachel both hugged him tightly. They let him go as Mercedes came onstage.

"Tomorrow I lose my best friends. And while I'll gain solos I'll still lose my best friends. The girl who I've considered my best friend and my worst enemy in the same day and the guy who I'm afraid to say I hit on. I'll miss you like crazy and you better come visit me or I'll come find you and tell all your new friends about your embarrassing lives here." She smiled. "I'll be singing Turning tables by Adele.

_Close enough to start a war_

_All that I have is on the floor _

_God only knows what we're fighting for _

_All that I say, you always say more_

_I can't keep up with your turning tables_

_Under your thumb, I can't breathe_

_So I won't let you close enough to hurt me_

_No, I won't ask you, you to just desert me_

_I can't give you what you think you gave me_

_It's time to say goodbye to turning tables, to turning tables_

_Under haunted skies I see_

_Where love is lost, your ghost is found_

_I've braved a hundred storms to leave you_

_As hard as you try, no, I will never be knocked down_

_I can't keep up with your turning tables_

_Under your thumb, I can't breathe_

_So I won't let you close enough to hurt me, no_

_I won't ask you, you to just desert me_

_I can't give you what you think you gave me_

_It's time to say goodbye to turning tables, turning tables_

_Next time I'll be braver, I'll be my own saviour_

_When the thumb that cost me_

_Next time I'll be braver, I'll be my own saviour_

_Standing on my own two feet_

_I won't let you close enough to hurt me, no_

_I won't ask you, you to just desert me_

_I can't give you what you think you gave me_

_It's time to say goodbye to turning tables, to turning tables_

_Turning tables, yeah, turning_

Rachel felt a single tear fall down her face and saw Kurt before running over enveloping Mercedes in a crushing hug.

Next it was Rachel's turn she walked onto the stage and lowered the microphone.

"Um, when I grew up I was always fighting to be the best so I could get out of Ohio. I told myself that if leave Ohio everything will be perfect. But the thing is I'm leaving Ohio tomorrow and I'm nowhere near ready but I guess that's what glee club has taught me. That you don't need all that to have true friends, a great life and to fall in love" she said shakily. "So make the most of Ohio because I'm sure as hell gonna miss the hell out of it"

_~()~_

After a few more speeches including one from Brittany in 'the secret language she invented in middle school' it was Finn's turn.

He clumsily stumbled onto the stage and tapped the microphone.

"Um, hi. When I first met Kurt, I through him into a dumpster to look cool. Now a little way down the road, he's like a brother to me. When I first met Rachel, I was terrified. After a year, I'm still pretty scared but that's just one of the things I feel for her." he said before looking her in the eye and saying "Rachel, I love you. This is going to tear us apart but we need to know that we want to fix things when it does and we know that, so we gonna rock this long distance relationship thing. I promise to love you forever" he smiled at her a tear slid down her cheek.

_I can't fight this feeling any longer _

_And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow _

_What started out as friendship has grown stronger _

_I only wish I had the strength to let it show_

"You haven't told him yet. Have you?" Kurt whispered and Rachel shook her head.

_And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight_

_You're a candle in the window on a cold dark winters night_

_And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might_

Rachel shakily took out her phone and checked her messages.

"**Hi Rachel. It's Jesse. Can we please just talk about. It's been a week and I already miss you like crazy"**

_And I can't fight this feeling anymore_

_I've forgotten what I started fighting for_

_It's time to bring this ship into the shore_

_And throw away the oars_

_Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore_

"**Hey, it's me again. Ring me back."**

_My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you_

_I've been running round in circles in my mind_

_And it always seems that I'm following you, girl'_

_Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find_

"**Rach, come on please. I'm sorry"**

_And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight_

_You're a candle in the window on a cold dark winters night_

_And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might_

"**Rachel, you can't just ignore me, I'm pretty sure, it was a joint effort"**

_And I can't fight this feeling anymore_

_I've forgotten what I started fighting for_

_It's time to bring this ship into the shore_

_And throw away the oars forever_

_'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore_

_I've forgotten what I started fighting for_

_Even if I have to crawl upon the floor_

_Come crushing through your door_

_Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore_

"**I'll be at the station to pick you up tomorrow, it's like an hour journey and an hour in traffic to get in from New Jersey" **

Finn walked off the stage and hugged Kurt. Rachel kissed him lightly, threading her fingers through his.

"Finn, can we talk" she murmured sadly.

"Sure" he said looking worried.

She got to her feet pulling him with her. She pulled him outside of the restaurant before stopping.

"Finn I have to tell you something.

* * *

The next day Rachel watched from her bedroom window as Dads loaded the suitcases into their larger car. She looked around her room for the last time before walking down to meet them. After hugging and crying they finally left for the station. The arrived and Rachel climbed out and pulled out one of her suitcases. She had about four, but in her defence she had to move everything to New York.

"She climbed up the stairs to the platform to see the whole New Directions there, she handed her bag to her father L before she hurriedly hugged everyone.

"See you on Thursday" she said to Kurt who wasn't leaving for a few days. She hugged Mr Schue before reaching Finn.

"I guess I'm over it" he said looking at his shoes. She tilted his chin up, kissing him deeply for a few seconds, before hugging her dads and climbing onto the train.

~()~Flashback~()~

_They had been in Crystal spring for a few days now and Rachel was having a surprisingly good time. It was about six in the morning and Rachel was just finishing getting ready when her phone buzzed. _

**Found, something really cool meet me outside in ten –J **

_Rachel pulled on some blue sandals and looked down at herself. She was in long denim short and a blue shirt. She quickly grabbed a hoody before heading outside. _

"_So where are we going?" she asked as he approached _

"_You'll see. It's a quite a long hike but it's totally worth it" he said before grabbing her hand and leading her through the woods. _

_About an hour later they must have been nearing the location because Jesse put his hand over her eyes. _

_When he pulled it away Rachel saw a incredible waterfall, with a rope attached to a large tree hanging over it. _

"_It's totally safe people have been doing it for decades" he smirked guessing her thoughts. _

* * *

_After much coaxing Rachel finally agreed to try the rope swing, she held on tight as Jesse pulled her back and released her. _

_When she'd swung halfway across Jesse shouted "Let go" _

"_What?!" she screamed_

"_Let go" he laughed she let go but screamed dramatically as she plummeted into the water. _

"_He quickly followed suit, albeit more gracefully since he'd had some practice._

_He laughed as she came back for air. She tried to hit him in the head but ended up slipping underwater again. _

_Jesse caught her around the middle to keep her steady. She subconsciously leaned as he gently pressed his lips to hers. _

~()~Present time~()~

Rachel leaned her head back as the train approached a small station in New Jersey and saw a head of curly hair getting closer and closer.

_~()~Flashback~()~_

_She quickly pushed him away. And covered her mouth in shock. He looked hurt and a little angry. _

"_That was a mistake." She said gravely _

"_How, you wanted it as much as I did" he said indignantly _

"_I love Finn" she said coldly _

"_Then why didn't you even hesitate to kiss me back. He didn't even stop you for a second, Rach"_

"_I can't do this right now she said swimming over to the water's edge, putting on her sandals and storming through the forest. _

~()~Present time~()~

This was going to be one awkward car journey into the city.

**Hey please review, please, please. There are ways more followers than reviews and so please review, I really appreciate it. **


	9. New York State of Mind

**Hi thanks to all my reviewers ThatFangirl9989,****act-not-think,****TeebsSingerWriter, me and kittiyloveranime. **

**Please keep reviewing it means so much. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own glee **

_Previously…_

_Jesse caught her around the middle to keep her steady. She subconsciously leaned as he gently pressed his lips to hers._

_~()~Present time~()~_

_Rachel leaned her head back as the train approached a small station in New Jersey and saw a head of curly hair getting closer and closer._

_~()~Flashback~()~_

_She quickly pushed him away. And covered her mouth in shock. He looked hurt and a little angry. _

_"__That was a mistake." She said gravely _

_"__How, you wanted it as much as I did" he protested indignantly _

_"__I love Finn" she said coldly _

_"__Then why didn't you even hesitate to kiss me back. He didn't even stop you for a second, Rach"_

_"__I can't do this right now she said swimming over to the water's edge, putting on her sandals and storming through the forest. _

_~()~Present time~()~_

_This was going to be one awkward car journey into the city._

**On with the story. **

Rachel sighed regretfully as the train pulled to a stop and reluctantly packed up her laptop and iPhone. She put them both in her bag and shrugged it over one shoulder. She walked along the train aisle as if she was walking towards her death. She pulled her suitcases of the rack and anxiously waited for the doors to open.

Taking hold of one of her bags she stepped of the train, she turned around to see her other suitcases gone.

_Oh my god__, this is what being mugged felt like. _

Rachel started hyperventilating. Suddenly an arm wrapped around her waist and someone's lips were on the side of her head.

_Raped too. She'd been in the city barely a second. _

"I carry a rape whistle" she said her voice breaking.

A very familiar laugh came from behind her and she felt herself being released by a very amused Jesse. Next to him was a fully loaded trolley of her suitcases.

"You asshole" she said indignantly as she smacked him on the head.

He laughed as he loaded her last suitcase onto the trolley before wrapping his arms around her again. He gave her a brief hug and a kiss on the nose before letting her go.

She sighed and followed him out of the station and into the car park. He led her over to a black range rover and put her bags in the trunk. He opened the passenger side door for her, then walked around to his own side and climbed in.

They hadn't been driving for ten minutes before Jesse decided to strike up a conversation.

"So how did Finn take the news?"

_Had the asshole ever heard of small talk _

"He was furious at first and really hurt at first but this morning he said he was willing to put it behind us and move on"

"It probably means he did something worse, you know" he smirked

"Not everyone is as disturbed as you" she said coldly.

"Okay enough is enough, I was trying to make small talk before we talk about this but apparently you can't even handle that" he snapped

"That was small talk" Rachel said with a raised eyebrow.

"Look Rachel, I tried not to kiss you, I did. Trust me when I say it's not the first time I wanted to. I guess I forgot why I shouldn't. It's like in that moment, there was no Finn, no consequences just you and me in a romantic setting."

Rachel closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Can we just pretend it never happened?" she sighed

"Okay, for now. I promise not to kiss you again until you implicate it." He said softly.

* * *

The Next day Rachel woke up as usual at five am the next day, after an hour at elliptical, she showered and changed into a crisp grey dress, some nude tights and a pair of black high heels. She matched with her lucky gold star necklace, black stud earrings and her Shelby's bracelet.

She made herself a smoothie and packed her school and dance bags before setting off for class.

Rachel's everyday classes flew by in the morning and Rachel was now changed into her dance gear and warming up next to Jesse.

The musical theatre students were put in the same class as the regular dance students, so Rachel was concerned.

A tall blonde woman dressed in black and carrying a long black cane walked in.

"Alright kids, show me what you got" she called over the thumping music. "Ready, 5, 6, 7, 8." Every formed a line to dance up the hall in fours" Welcome to NYADA. This is dance 101, my name's Cassandra July and if you are not suffering from severe body dimorphia, you don't want it enough. Let's get this straight freshman. There's maybe two of you in this room that are good enough to make it in this business, as for the rest of you, thank you for paying my rent on my loft in Soho"

Rachel saw her eyes linger on a struggling Susan like a predator.

"Hey what's your name Muffin top?"

"Susan"

"No, no, your name is Muffin top and from now on its rice cakes and ipecac, or cut off a butt cheek cause you need to drop a few"

Rachel rolled her eyes, no matter where you go there will always be a Sue Sylvester ripping you down.

Cassandra looked at her as she passed before saying "Hold it, hold it" the music stopped and everyone turned to watch. "I'm sorry" she said as she strode back to her "Did my conversation with Muffin top offend you?"

"No" Rachel said nervously

"What's your name?"

"Rach-"

"Little miss David Schwimmer?" she drawled

"Little miss David Schwimmer" Rachel nodded

"I bet you were a big star back in Iowa"

"I'm actually from Ohio"

"Ohio. That's even worse. Ever look at a map, Ohio's like a giant terd that Michigan just can't pinch off. So did you come all the way to New York city to show me how to run my class"

"No..I..I..I came to learn" she stuttered

"Okay. Lesson number one, your Piqué turns are pathetic and your stuck up attitude is really pissing me off. Music" she said clapping "Alright lets go. Let's get energy in your fingers"

It was Rachel's turn again and Miss July seemed to focus on her.

"Higher. Higher. Into the ground. Higher. Higher. Higher" she said and Rachel tripped and fell to the floor.

Cassandra bend down to her level "I don't need any help" Rachel said.

"No sweetie, I'm not down here to help you, I'm down here to give you a big New York City welcome. You suck"

Rachel sighed and walked around to the back of the queue"

"Alright, class dismissed" Miss July shouted.

"You, okay" Jesse said as they walked out together.

"Why does she hate me" Rachel said indignantly

"You're not used to teachers like her" Jesse said "They're all as bad as Dakotas Stanley if not worse. You want to practice more?" he offered and she nodded.

* * *

Rachel and Jesse arrived early the next day to practice. Rachel was on the bar when Miss July walked in carrying a flask.

"God almighty Schwimmer, is it possible you're getting worse" she slurred

"I've been practicing a lot, I've just had a little bit of a rough week" she said stopping and looking at her.

"Aww, you tired, you lonely, you homesick. Well you better decide how badly you want it, cause this school is filled with people who will do whatever necessary to make it in this business" she said while reading some sheet music.

"Why are you picking on me?" Rachel asked and moved nearer

"I'm not, I'm motivating you" she huffed sending a familiar sent Rachel's way. Rachel retracted "What's your problem now?"

"There's just alcohol on your breath" she said and the whole class turned towards them.

"It's Listerine, let me tell me something, I may not be a wide eyed ingénue anymore but I can still dance circles around any of you" she said walking to the center of the room "Music"

_I met a girl in east LA_

_In floral shorts as sweet as May _

_She sang in eighths in two Barrio chords _

_We fell in love but not in court_

**NYADA Students:**

_Aah-America_

**Cassandra:**

_Mis canciones son de la revolución _

_Mi corazón me duele por mi generación_

_If you love me, _

_we can marry on the west coast_

_On a Wednesday, en un verano de agosto _

Cassandra with NYADA Students harmonizing:

_I wanna dance, and love, and dance again_

_I wanna dance, and love, and dance again_

_Aah-America-Americano _

**_(NYADA Students: I wanna dance)_**

_Aah-America-Americano _

**_(NYADA Students: I wanna dance)_**

**Cassandra:**

_I will fight for_

_How I've fought for_

_How I love you_

**_ (NYADA Students: La la la la la la la) _**

_I have cried for_

_I will die for_

_How I care _

**_(NYADA Students: La la la la la la la)_**

In the mountains

Están sonando

**(NYADA Students: La la la la la la la)**

Todos los chicas

**(Female NYADA Students: Chicas)**

Y los chicos

**(Female NYADA Students: Chicos)**

Se están besando

**(NYADA Students: La la la la la la la)**

**Cassandra with NYADA Students harmonizing:**

I wanna dance, and love, and dance again

I wanna dance, and love, and dance again

Aah-America-Americano

**(NYADA Students: I wanna dance)**

Aah-America-Americano

**(NYADA Students: I wanna dance)**

If this would be a perfect world

We'd be together then

**(NYADA Students: Let's do it, do it, do it)**

Only got just one life, this I've learned

Who cares what they're gonna say

**(NYADA Students: Let's do it, do it, do it)**

I wanna dance, and love, and dance again

I wanna dance, and love, and dance again

Aah-America-Americano

I wanna dance

Aah-America-Americano

I wanna dance

Oh, oh, oh

I wanna dance

Aah-America-Americano

**NYADA Students:**

I wanna dance!

**Cassandra:**

I wanna dance

**(If you haven't already scene it watch Americano/Dance again watch now. Link on profile) **

"You're not just on my list Schwimmer" she said as she walked out "You are my list. Class dismissed" she called

Jesse came over looking a little confused.

"That was like the shortest lesson ever" he laughed. "Here's a tip don't publicly point out the smell of alcohol on a teacher, they won't admit to it so you'll just get in trouble" he said wrapping his arm around her shoulder"

"Come on, we have music next" he said as they walked out together "If it makes you feel better she went off-key twice, her partners did most of the work and it was mostly Hairography"

"Thanks" she said as they reached the changing rooms

"I'll wait for you when I'm done, we can walk to music together"

* * *

Rachel and Jesse walked through a pair of black double doors into a enormous gold dome, with a group of chairs and a performance area.

"Wow"

"Whoa"

Jesse quickly sat down in one of the two last chairs and Rachel sat next to him.

"Hi I'm Brody" A brown haired boy next to Jesse said

"Jesse and this is my friend Rachel"

"Hi" Rachel said

Miss Tibeduex walked in, taking a clipboard from her TA, she walked to the front and addressed the class "Returning students welcome back, new students welcome to the round room. The acoustics are perfect and there are no corners, which means there is nowhere to hide in here. First year students will have the opportunity to sing publicly twice, the first time today, the debut"

"Also known as the freshman reaping" Brody whispered to Jesse and Rachel. Rachel looked terrified.

"The second the winter showcase" Carmen continued "At the end of the semester, if you are invited, shall we begin?" She said in an arm chair at the front of the make-shift audience "Maria Evans"

"My name is Maria Evans and I'll be singing Ave Maria written by Franz Schubert"

_Ave Maria…_

**(The song choice was a totally** **Coincidence I swear) **

"I'll stop you there, when I accepted you at NYADA, what did I tell you, you needed to do? You needed to practice all summer long"

"I did" Maria stuttered.

"You did not! I think you need to practice a little bit more and then come back next lesson"

Maria nodded and left in tears.

"Did she just get kicked out" Rachel said anxiously

"It happens" Brody said sadly.

"Rachel Berry"

Rachel swallowed hard, got up and walked into center stage.

"Impress me" Miss Tibedeux said coolly. Jesse gave her a grin from behind her.

Fixing her best show face on she said enthusiastically "Hi, my name's Rachel Berry and I'll be singing 'New York State of mind' written by Billy Joel, popularised by one miss Barbra Streistand"

_Some folks like to get away_

_Take a holiday from the neighborhood_

_Hop a flight to Miami Beach_

_Or to Hollywood_

_But I'm taking a Greyhound_

_On the Hudson River Line_

_I'm in a New York state of mind_

_It was so easy living day by day_

_Out of touch with the rhythm and blues_

_But now I need a little give and take_

_The New York Times,_

_The Daily News_

_It comes down to reality_

_And it's fine with me_

'_cause I've let it slide_

_Don't care if it's Chinatown or on Riverside_

_I don't have any reasons_

_I've left them all behind_

_I'm in a New York state of mind_

_I'm just taking a Greyhound_

_On the Hudson River Line_

'_Cause I'm in_

_I'm in a New York state of Mind_

_New York State of Mind_

**(If you haven't already scene it watch New York State of mind now. Link on profile) **

There was a round of applause and Carmen said "Nice"

* * *

_Jesse's pov_

"Hi man" Brody said as he bumped into Jesse on the way out "Where's Rachel?"

"She went with Susan to console Maria." Jesse said

"You two together?" Brody asked

"No, no, she has a boyfriend" Jesse said lightly looking at the floor

"You like her don't you?" Brody said bumping his shoulder

"Is it that obvious?" Jesse said

"To a freshman, no. To a upperclassman, hell yes. We've all been there. I give her relationship six weeks" he chuckled

"Really?"

"Yeah trust me"

* * *

The next day Rachel was alone sitting on a bench looking at pictures of Finn.

"Is that your boyfriend?" Brody asked from behind her

She turned and saw him "Hi. Yeah this is Finn. He's in Ohio, so we haven't been talking in a few days"

"I had a girlfriend back at home when I first started at NYADA. Yeah, we lasted about six weeks"

"No, that won't happen to us" Rachel said determinately "I'm not going to turn my back on him"

"Well no-one said you should. Anyway, I came to tell you that you killed it yesterday in Miss Tibedeux's class. You did a great job" he said patting her on the arm.

"Thank you, you know, it's just other than when I was singing that song I just I never really felt as amazingly wrong as I do here, all alone with just Jesse and Kurt, I kinda feel like I'm going to throw up all the time" They both laughed

"It's just because your becoming a different person, that's why you came to New York, to be that new and improved girl. Here let me see your phone. Were going to take a picture" he said as he took her phone he held up the camera as she put a hand on her hip.

She laughed and said "let me see"

"You look good. Don't fight the new you because from what I've seen she is going to kick some serious tail and start adding new memories to the old ones" he said and got up "Walk you to class" he said as he offered her a hand.

She smiled and took it.

* * *

"What's the problem people, you've been here a week, you should be dancing at a black swan level of sycosis by now. You. Miss Schwimmer" she said and Rachel stopped "Show me your Piquéing" Rachel did as she was told "Okay, give me another one, center yourself this time"

Rachel repeated it while spotting the wall "That's better, slightly. You gonna role your eyes at me now?"

"No and I'm going to keep getting better until I'm the best you've ever seen" she said still looking ahead

"Ohh you're mouthy and you've got guts. Good I like it. I like that sprit in my students."

Rachel became hopeful but confused, this wasn't the women she had first met.

"Because it will make it more fun for me, when I'm making your every waking moment hell on earth" she said coldly before walking away.

Rachel walked away and heard "This is so boring" there's the teacher she knows and loathes.

* * *

"The Tango, you have to have it in your arsenal people, the first thing you need to understand is it's all about Sex, when you are dancing the tango with someone you are seducing them. Partner up" Miss July called

"Do I really have to ask?" Jesse said as he came over to Rachel.

"We'll start with el abrazo, the embrace" Cassie called "Not you Schwimmer, keep practising those jazz hands back in the corner. Curly with Muffin top" Jesse smiled sadly at Rachel before joining Susan.

"But..but..wait." Rachel stuttered "Miss July, I'm sorry, if I'm ever going to play Evita, I'm going to have to learn how to tango"

"We're short of boys, so a girl has to sit out and you don't have enough sex appeal to pull off a credible tango, you're awkward and tentative in your body and act move like you're ashamed of it" she said before walking away "Arms up"

* * *

"New York Dominos is so much better than Lima Dominos" Rachel moaned

"It's the water" Kurt sighed.

Rachel and Kurt were spread out in her apartment/dorm which was enormous with sparkling apple juice and pizza.

"So have you heard from Finn at all?" she said attempting to sound causal.

"Not since you asked me yesterday" Kurt said lightly "He's just giving you your space"

"I know but he said we were going to try this long distance thing"

"He's probably just being all broody and grumpy. He'll get over it in like a week" Kurt said comfortingly "Mercedes said they're doing Britney music for the pep assembly"

"Mr Schuster is okay with that?" Rachel asked with an eyebrow raised "He wouldn't let me sing Out tonight from rent because and I quote 'It's sung by a striper and has too many implications. Try and find some more Journey'"

"I think it's just a post-divorce 'I just lost my girlfriend to a hot dentist' midlife crisis. He bought a sports car too." Kurt said with a amused expression "Anyway how's musical theatre".

"The singing and acting is great but my dance teacher just won't let up on me the other day she told me I wasn't sexy enough" she huffed

"Maybe you shouldn't wear a bra to your next class" Kurt teased

Rachel laughed by replying with "And take all the attention From the Miss Cassie July, she'd flip. I can't stand her."

"Cassie July is your dance teacher?" Kurt asked surprised and Rachel made a face, the last thing she needed was to be showered with another person screaming Cassandra's good points "_The_ Cassie July aka crazy July aka the biggest train wreck in Broadway history"

"What?" Rachel asked confused

"You don't know her story?" Kurt said and quickly pulled out his Laptop.

"It's on your favourites?" Rachel said with a raise eyebrow.

"I live for this stuff" he smirked as he loaded the video.

The video focused on a stage and Cassandra in a black leotard with some male dancers and a familiar black cane.

"Cassie July was the It girl ten years ago" Kurt started "She scored the converted role of temptress Lola in the high profile revival of Dan Yankees, then during the first preview of the out of town try-out"

"_Stop, Stop, stop the music" Cassy said as a cell phone rang "Who's cell phone is that" she spotted the man who looked a little scared "I'm not going on until this rude person leaves" she said pointing at him "This performance is over until you leave." The phone rang again and she started towards him "Come here. Come here old man" she climbed over the chairs and lunged at him "Come here you timid old man" she screamed as reached him "You want your phone?" she said as she snatched it away she hit with her cane and cheered "Yeah"_

"No wonder she's always just so angry" Rachel said gesturing with her hands

"You can't give into her. Not ever" Kurt instructed "You have to keep fighting, she wants sexy give her sexy" Rachel was suddenly struck by an amazing idea.

* * *

Rachel knocked on Jesse's door.

"Hey, what's up" he said as he opened it.

"I have an idea to prove to Miss July that I can be sexy but I need your help"

"Come in, I'll make coffee"

* * *

"You're late" Miss July said as Rachel and Jesse entered "And dressed like a Walgreens underwear model"

"The reason why I'm dressed all Bob Fosse chic is because I wanted to show that I do have what it takes to be sexy, sexy enough to play Evita, Roxy and Charity"

"Show me what you prepared" Cassandra said in a sing-song voice.

"Some of the dancers are going to help out as well" she said "Lights

**(If you haven't already scene it watch Oops I did again full performance here. Link on profile) **

_I think I did it again_

_I made you believe, we're more than just friends_

_Oh baby, it might seem like a crush_

_But it doesn't mean, that I'm serious__  
_

_Cause to lose all my senses _

_That is just so typically me _

_Oh baby, baby_

_Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah_

_Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah _

_Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah_

_Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah_

_You see my problem is this_

_I'm dreaming away_

_Wishing that heroes they truly exist_

_I cry watchin the days_

_Can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways?__  
_

_Oops! I did it again_

_I played with your heart,_

_got lost in the game _

_Oh baby, baby_

_Oops! You think I'm in love_

_That I'm sent from above_

_I'm not that innocent _

_Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah_

_Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah_

_Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah_

_Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah_

_Oops! I did it again to your heart_

_Got lost in this game, oh baby_

_Oops! You think that I'm sent from above_

_I'm not that innocent_

_Oops! I did it again_

_I played with your heart, got lost in the game _

_Oh baby, baby_

_Oops! You think I'm in love_

_That I'm sent from above_

_I'm not that innocent _

_Oops! I did it again_

_I played with your heart, got lost in the game _

_Oh baby, baby_

_Oops! You think I'm in love_

_That I'm sent from above_

_I'm not that innocent_

"So what do you think Miss July am I ready to learn the tango?"

"Look you can memorize a routine, so what."

"Rachel was incredible!" Jesse glared.

"You were incredible." she said coldly "She was okay."

"And that song, garbage. I mean whose idea was that? You want truth, fine. Maria Von Trap, Willie Lowman, Shrek those are the roles that are appropriate for your level of sex appeal."

"You're just jealous of me." Rachel said angrily "Of all of us"

"Rachel, don't." Jesse pleaded but Rachel ignored him.

"No, because we have our whole careers ahead of us and yours ended before it even began, we're the future and you're just some YouTube joke."

Miss July looked stunned before slowly saying "You're done. Get out of my class" Rachel was stunned "GET OUT OF MY CLASS. OUT" she screamed.

Rachel ran out and Jesse rested his forehead against the table. The bell rang and he picked up Rachel's bag along with his own.

As Jesse walked out of the classroom he started right towards the main hallway but heard a muffled sob from the other way, he followed the noise towards a supply closet he opened it and sighed.

"Rachel, darling we spoke about all these stereotypes" he joked weakly as he climbed in and sat on the floor next to her, entwining their hands. She looked up through her tears and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Christine, Maria, Cosette, Eponine, Joanna, Elphaba, Laurey, Fanny. What do they have in common?" He said softly while gently stroking her cheek.

"No sex appeal" she chuckled softly.

"Not quite." He laughed "Innocence. Some more than others but it's there in all of them. Hundreds of girls can be sexy Rachel, a lot less can pull off wide-eyed ingénue."

"There are plenty of those too Jesse" she said sadly

"And you kicked a lot them to the curb in auditions."

"What about Evita, Roxy, Louise?"

"You might need to skip a few dream roles. But you're a sixteen year old virgin right now Rach, I'd be really creped out if you were naturally good at it. Besides wait a few years for the last one skip Louise go straight for Rose. You'd be wasted as Louise."

Rachel kissed him on the cheek before saying "Can we go get a coffee or something now because I think we're starting to smell like cleaning fluids" she said and climbed up offering Jesse her hand.

* * *

A few hours later when she had recovered Rachel decided to talk to Cassandra.

She walked into the dance studio to see Miss July dancing in front of a mirror. "I'm working" she said softly in an emotionless voice.

"I just wanted to say I was sorry, all those things that I said to you, they were completely wrong and… and out of line. I felt like you were picking on me for no reason"

"Stop talking" Cassandra said boredly and then groaned "Look you lost it, you lashed out, same as I did ten years ago, except all it took for you to snap was a little honest feedback in, excuse me dance class and you expect to make it on Broadway" she did a strange little dance "where all there is, is scrutiny and judgment."

"I'm really, really sorry-"

"And what if someone taped your little outburst and then posted it on the internet. You'd never get casted, you have one chance. You screw it up, you're done" she said now stretching on the floor "You're that crazy actress and why would anybody want to work with you"

"Because you're good" Rachel said quietly

"I was great," she said lifting leg up in the air "but it doesn't make a difference because I wasn't ready for the pressure" Rachel sat behind and support her leg while she stretched "believe me it's a whole lot more vicious out there than it is in here" she shifted positions so Rachel moved to support her back "That's why I pick at my students, I want them to be ready"

"Well I know that I'm not there yet"

"Not even close and if I had my choice then I wouldn't let you back in my class, I don't believe in second chances, I know they don't exist. Unfortunately for me school policy says you get a warning" she shifted round and got up

"So?"

"So you're in and on probation and dance belt duty. You're dismissed" she said walking away from her "Don't forget the hamper on the way out"

Rachel was going to say something but decided no to she walked to the door, picked up the hamper, hesitated again but left.

* * *

The next day in dance class Rachel was sitting watching with a weak expression.

Miss July sighed before walking over to Jesse and Susan and whispering something to Jesse he smiled and quickly walked over to Rachel and offered her a hand. Rachel grinned as she took it sending a thankful smile towards Miss July.

As the danced Rachel swore she heard "In the corner Muffin Top, Jazz hands duty"

"Poor Susan" she sighed

"I don't know why she was picking on you about sexuality. Half the class is terrible at it and a I think some people are going straight past Evita and into stripping."

"At least we know my career is free from that"

"If it helps I think you're plenty sexy."

"That would be really sweet, if I didn't have a boyfriend."

"I said I wouldn't kiss you, I didn't say I wouldn't flirt."

"Finn and I have a future, Jesse."

"Yes, just not a long one."

"Must you always be so persistent?"

"It happens to be one of my best qualities."

"You can't have many good qualities then." she quipped hitching her leg around his waist.

"I love it when you talk dirty to me" Jesse teased and dipped her slowly.

She glared at him as he pulled her back up.

**I made Brody a character but he's going to be a brother figure for Jesse because I actually like him and don't want to have to break up Brochel to get StBerry so no Brochel in this story. **

**I have the next chapter almost finished. So the more you review the faster you get it. Evil laugh. I love bribery or is it Blackmail. Review please, I think I'm going insane. **

_**Preview of chapter 9:**_

"_Where is he?" Kurt said when a nurse approached "Is he dead?_

"_No, he's alive but I'm sorry but I don't have any other good news" the nurse said seriously_

"_I want to see him" Kurt said and tried to barge past the nurse._

"_He hasn't regained consciousness"_

"_I thought he had a heart attack" Mr Schue said_

"_Brought on by a erythema, which caused a lack of blood to his brain, that's what made him lose consciousness and made him comatose, we have him on lidocaine but there's no guarantee that it's going to work that it's going to work or whatever damage was done to his brain by lack of oxygen"_

"_I don't understand what you're saying" Kurt said with a strain on his voice. "When is he gonna wake up"_

"_I don't know"_

"_Just take us to him now, please" Mr Schue said._

_They entered the room and Kurt pulled back the curtain_


	10. Oh cheesy lord!

**Thank you to cecilyedandme, bouquineuse, Guest **_(Sorry I know ballet as well as I know pig Latin), _**Lynne25,** **lotranddwfanatic for you reviews. **

**Disclaimer; I don't own glee**

A few days later Rachel, Kurt and Jesse were hanging out in her apartment, watching Barbra Streisand movies when the phone rang.

"Hello" Rachel said clearly

"Hi Rachel its Finn"

"Finn, hey. You finally called me back" she said with a slightly reprimanding voice.

"Yeah sorry, whatever. I have some really important news" he said hurriedly

"What is it?" she asked concerned.

"I've been visited by god on a sandwich"

"Oh dear" she groaned sometimes she felt like a babysitter with a five year old.

"Oh and we won our first football game" he said and Rachel choked on pure air.

"You what?" she asked astonished

"Yeah, we got a new coach. Coach Bieste but she cut me off the team a few weeks ago so the new guy Sam got quarterback but she let me back on as a running back and we won" he said cheerfully

"Right. Well that's great but I have to go, 'Don't rain on my parade' is coming up. Love you bye"

"Love you too-"

* * *

Rachel and Kurt were sitting in Spanish class chatting away about the sing along sound of music, in Spanish of course. When a brown haired woman came in looking very worried.

"Hi can I talk to Kurt please"

Kurt left with the woman and a few minutes later she came back in.

"Um can I have Rachel Berry Please?" she said and Rachel stood up "Can you get bring your bag"

Rachel nodded and followed her out.

"Hi, I'm Isobel Wright. I'm Kurt's design teacher and the dean in charge of him. Kurt's father has had a terrible heart attack and he's alive but comatose, Kurt needs to go home but I don't want him going alone in the state he's in so could you please go with him"

"Okay" she said sadly "Where is he, this must of killed him"

"I sent him to pack. You have half an hour before you take a cab to the airport and get the plane to Ohio"

"Can you meet me and Kurt in the lobby in twenty minutes?" Rachel nodded. "Okay, your going to be there about a week and Kurt will stay until his dad wakes up. Go!"

* * *

Rachel sat in Finn's car as he drove them to the hospital.

She pulled out her phone and sighed.

_**8 missed calls, 4 new messages.**_

"_**Hey Rachel its Jesse, I don't know where you are but you're not in your room, the coffee place, dance studio, round room or Kurt's room. I can't find him ether. What's going on?**_

"_**Hey it's me again, you weren't in dance. I'm really worried. Please call me back"**_

"_**Hey, Jesse here, again. You must of lost your phone or something. Just call me back"**_

"_**Rachel Barbra Berry, I've been looking for you for hours. Where the hell are you?"**_

Rachel rolled her eyes at his dramatics before calling him.

"_Hello?" _

"_Hey Jess it's me"_

"_Rachel, thank god. Where are you?" _

"_I'm kind of in Ohio. Kurt's dad had a heart attack so I came with Kurt"_

"_Oh I'm sorry. When will you be back?"_

"_A few days but I not sure about Kurt"_

"_I'll let you go now, See you in a few days. Give my regards to Kurt"_

"_I will. Bye"_

"_Bye"_

* * *

"Where is he?" Kurt said when a nurse approached "Is he dead?

"No, he's alive but I'm sorry but I don't have any other good news" the nurse said seriously

"I want to see him" Kurt said and tried to barge past the nurse.

"He hasn't regained consciousness"

"I thought he had a heart attack" Mr Schue said

"Brought on by a erythema, which caused a lack of blood to his brain, that's what made him lose consciousness and made him comatose, we have him on lidocaine but there's no guarantee that it's going to work that it's going to work or whatever damage was done to his brain by lack of oxygen"

"I don't understand what you're saying" Kurt said with a strain on his voice. "When is he gonna wake up"

"I don't know"

"Just take us to him now, please" Mr Schue said.

They entered the room and Kurt pulled back the curtain

"I need a minute" Kurt said his voice breaking.

"I don't think you should be alone, Kurt" Miss Pillsbury said

"Could you please just give me a moment alone with my father?"

"We'll be right outside"

Mr Schue led them outside and Rachel sat down with Finn. She rested her head on the side of his arm because he couldn't reach his shoulder and let a tear slide down her face.

In that moment she really wanted Jesse.

* * *

The next day Kurt and Rachel went to glee club to keep Kurt distracted and offer some comfort to him and Finn.

There was a lot of hugging when they saw group but it was anything but happy.

"Hey Kurt, we're really sorry about your dad's heart attack"

"Thanks Santana"

"I did I book report on heart attacks if you want to give to the doctor. I got knocked down an entire letter grade because it was written in crayon" Brittany said giving a colourful binder.

Kurt sat down next to Finn who tried to put his arm around him but was quickly sworn off by Kurt.

"Hey guys. Our thoughts are all with Kurt and I know it's sorta hard to focus on anything else-"

"Mr Schue" Mercedes put her hand up

"Yeah"

"I've been struggling trying to figure out what I want to say to Kurt all day and I realised I don't want to say it, I want to sing it"

Mr Schue gestured toward the front and she came forward.

"This song is about being in a very dark place and turning to god. It's a spiritual song Mr Schue if that's okay"

"That's fine"

"Tina, Quinn can you help me out please"

_As I lay me down_

_Heaven hear me now_

_I'm lost without a cause_

_After giving it my all_

_Winter storms have come_

_And darkened my sun_

_After all that I've been through_

_Who on earth can I turn to?_

_I look to you, I look to you_

_After all my strength is gone_

_In you I can be strong_

_I look to you, I look to you, yeah_

_And when melodies are gone_

_In you I hear a song_

_I look to you, you_

_About to lose my breath_

_There's no more fighting left_

_Sinking to rise no more_

_Searching for that open door_

_And every road that I've taken_

_Led to my regret_

_And I don't know if I'm gonna make it_

_Nothing to do but lift my head_

_I look to you, I look to you, yeah_

_And when all my strength is gone_

_In you I can be strong_

_I look to you, I look to you_

_And when melodies are gone, yeah_

_In you I hear a song_

_I look to you_

_My levees are broken_

_My walls are coming tumbling down on me_

_The rain is falling, defeat is calling_

_I need you to set me free_

_Take me far away from the battle_

_I need you_

_Shine on me_

_I look to you, I look to you_

_After all my strength is gone_

_In you I can be strong_

_I look to you, I look to you_

_And when melodies are gone, yeah_

_In you I hear a song_

_I look to you, I look to you_

_I look to you_

"Thank you Mercedes, your voice is stunning but I don't believe in god" Kurt said

"Wait, what?" Tina asked

"You've all professed your beliefs, I just stating mine. I think god is kinda like Santa Claus for adults, otherwise God's kind of a jerk, isn't he? I mean he makes me gay and then has his followers following me around telling me it's something that I chose as if someone would chose to mocked every single day of their life and I right now don't want a holy father I just want mine back"

"Look Kurt, how do you know for sure, you can't prove that there's no god"

"You can't prove that there isn't a magic teapot floating around on the dark side of the moon with a dwarf inside of it that reads romance novels and shots lightning out of its boobs but it seem quite unlikely doesn't it" Kurt said

"Is god an evil dwarf?" Brittany asked Santana.

"We shouldn't be talking like this, it's not right" Quinn snapped

"Sorry Quinn, but you can all believe in whatever you want to, but I can't believe something I don't. I appreciate your thoughts but I don't want your prayers" he said before quietly exiting

* * *

**(As much as I loathe this scene I decided to put it in)**

Rachel walked into Finn's house nervously. She had decided to get it over with. Rip of the band aid. Lose the big V.

She had originally planned to wait, until she had won a bunch of Tonys and was ready for childbirth but it was clear in the world of Broadway you needed more than talent. More than innocence. You needed sex appeal and how could a sweet childlike girl become the next big Broadway thing if she was still stuck in the 1980s.

Rachel sighed. She had dreamed of love, candles, a bed covered in rose petals, soft music in the background preferably Les Miserables, Phantom of the opera or West side story and actually being ready for it. Instead she was getting a small cramped room with a boy she cares for but maybe not loves, with ether blaring light or complete darkness, in a room with cowboys on the wall and a guy who would probably ask her to leave afterwards.

Reluctantly she climbed the stairs and knocked on Finn's door. She walked in and he stood up.

"Finn please, sit" she said calmly while her mind was reeling in terror and horror at what she was going to do.

Finn awkwardly made his way over to the rickety old chair next to the door; she followed him and stood in between his legs.

"You're upset about Kurt's dad too." Finn said shakily

"Yes, but more importantly lets discuss your new found love Jesus and how it's affecting me" she said slowly "I want this relationship to go the distance but I need to know that when I'm twenty-five and have won a bunch of Tonys and I'm ready to babies. I need to know that these babies will be raised in a certain way" she said and Finn looked crept out.

"You're not going to have sex until your twenty-five?"

She just ignored him and continued "I want my children to be raised in the Jewish faith. Both of my dads people were slaves once, I need to know that my children will be free to worship in the way I decide is right"

"Sure" he said stunned "Of course. They should totally go to Jew church and wear those little hats and eat that salty orange stuff with their baggles."

Rachel smiled and leaned forwards kissing him lightly. After a few minutes she pulled away and said "Let's lay down on the bed".

"Okay" he said stunned. She pulled him over and he lay down on top of her.

She squirmed under his weight, sighed and kissed him again. "Finn. I'd like to give you something in exchange of what you gave me" she said and slid his hand up to the side of her breast.

It felt disgusting, awkward and wrong and she wanted nothing more than to shove it away from her, but she refrained.

She didn't have to lose the big V to be a success, just because there hasn't been a sweet innocent Broadway character in a while didn't mean there would never be. Clearly it wasn't that they aren't of fashion, they're out of stock.

She could wait as long as she damn well wants and if she dies a virgin, she'll die without having intercourse someone she doesn't love"

He got a strange expression on his face and turned his head and whispered "Thank you, Grilled Cheesus"

She kissed his jaw before lightly pushing him off her.

"I have to go, but I'll call you" she said awkwardly and quickly rushed out.

* * *

"Last week we're too sexy, this week we're to religious. We can't win" Tina said incredulously

"Now I know what Miley feels like" Brittany said dreamily.

"The real tragedy is that I found the most perfect spiritual song to sing and now it's being taken away from me like Sophie's daughter

"Guys you can still sing whatever songs you like, that sum up your feelings about god, about sprit, you just can't do it on school time" Mr Schue said diplomatically.

"I hope your happy Kurt" Santana sneered.

"I'm having the week of my life actually" Kurt sniped.

"Guys, back of Kurt. He had every right to speak his mind" Mr Schue reprimanded.

"Look Kurt, we're sympathetic to what you're going through, but siding with Miss Sylvester isn't going to do anyone any god"

"It's doing me some good. Now I don't have to sit around listening to all you mental patients talk about how there's a god when I know there isn't one"

* * *

Finn and Rachel were sitting by the lake in the pond in the dead of night. Rachel had spread out a picnic blanket and had a large candle in the middle.

"Why are we out here?" Finn asked boredly.

"Because I don't want anything to get in between us and god." She replied dreamily "And because Yentl was in the park when she sang this song in the movie. Let's just hope that god here's this song as a prayer for Burt Hummel and decides to bring him back to us" she lit the candle and pressed play on her CD player.

_God - our heavenly Father._

_Oh, God - and my father_

_Who is also in heaven._

_May the light_

_Of this flickering candle_

_Illuminate the night the way_

_Your spirit illuminates my soul._

_Papa, can you hear me?_

_Papa, can you see me?_

_Papa, can you hear me in the night?_

_Papa, are you near me?_

_Papa, can you hear me?_

_Papa, can you help me not be frightened?_

_Looking at the skies_

_I seem to see a million eyes_

_Which ones are yours?_

_Where are you now that yesterday Has come and gone_

_And closed its doors?_

_The night is so much darker_

_The wind is so much colder_

_The world I see is so much bigger now that I'm alone._

_~()~_

Rachel stood in the hospital with Quinn and Mercedes singing her prayer song

_Papa, please forgive me._

_Try to understand me._

_Papa, don't you know I had no choice?_

_Can you hear me praying,_

_Anything I'm saying,_

_Even though the night is filled with voices?_

_I remember ev'rything you taught me_

_Ev'ry book I've ever read._

_Can all the words in all the books_

_Help me to face what lies ahead?_

_The trees are so much taller_

_And I feel so much smaller._

_The moon is twice as lonely_

_And the stars are half as bright._

_Papa, how I love you._

_Papa, how I need you._

_Papa, how I miss you_

_Kissing me goodnight._

"Who's next?" she called.

"What is going on here?" Kurt growled.

"We were just praying for your dad" Rachel stuttered.

"Rachel, Quinn and I are taking turns. We're from different denominations and religions so we figured one of us is bound to be right" Mercedes said gently.

"I didn't ask you to do this" he said in a cold, broken voice staring down at the ground coolly.

"Honey I know you're upset about what's happening, I mean, I..I get it but friends help out even when you don't ask" Carol Finn's mother said softly.

"Mr Kurt Hummel" A black lady dressed in white with a dainty turban on her head walked in.

"Dude why didn't you just tell us you wanted to pray in Muslim" Finn said comfortingly which caused everyone including Rachel to look at him oddly.

"I'm not Muslim. I'm a Sikh"

"She's going to see if Acupuncture will help the circulation in my dad's brain. Amazingly needles pierce the skin more better than songs" he whispered in a distant voice "Can you all please leave now"

"We just wanted to do something" Rachel soothed as she passed him.

* * *

Rachel was sat next to Tina and Mercedes at the football match. Bored out of her brains.

She pulled out her phone and texted Maria.

_**Hey Mars. At football game ): How's NYADA? X**_

A minute later her phone buzzed

_**Same old, same old. Cassandra being evil, Tibideaux hates me and Jesse is moping without you. X**_

Rachel quickly replied

_**Why I've called him every night and it's only been 5 days? X**_

_**He must be in love with you or something ;) –M**_

_**No, we're just friends-R**_

_**You're so stupid sometimes Rach. I've been dropping Anthony hints for the last month to ask me out and he's out tonight with some skank from the dance department. –M**_

_**I'm sorry Mars, I'll get Jesse to start dropping hints-R**_

"Holy shit. Sam" Tina gasped Rachel's head snapped up and saw Sam on being led off the pitch supported by coach Bieste and a few other members of staff.

"What happened?" Rachel asked confused.

"Some huge guy just rammed into him" Mercedes gasped.

Rachel looked over at Finn to see him wearing a cocky grin on his face as he walked across the field.

* * *

"I know things have been pretty morose around here this past week but I want to celebrate some good news for our little family. Let's hear it for Finn on getting back his quarterback job and leading the titans to a win in their second game of the season" Mr Schue cheered and started clapping.

"Yeah, too bad that Sam kid had to have his arm basically ripped off for it to happen" Puck said "It's good to Have you back in the saddle brother"

Kurt got up from the back and walked to the front. "Mr Schue if I may."

"Yeah"

"Um, I wanted to thank everyone for your kind emails and queries about my dad but for your information his condition remains the same. I need to express myself, so with your permission" he said turning to Mr Schue "I've prepared a number for the occasion"

"Of course Kurt." He said and went to sit at the back.

"On the day of my mom's funeral, when they were lowering her body into the ground, I was crying. I mean that was it. That was the last time I was going to see her. And I remember I looked up at my dad and I..I just wanted him to say something, just something to make me feel like my whole world wasn't over and he just took my hand and squeezed it and just knowing that knowing that those hands were there to take care of me, that was enough. So this is for my dad"

_Oh yeah, I'll tell you something_

_I think you'll understand_

_When I say that something_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand__  
_

_Oh, please, say to me_

_You'll let me be your man_

_And please, say to me_

_You'll let me hold your hand_

_Now let me hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_And when I touch you I feel happy, inside_

_It's such a feeling_

_That my love_

_I can't hide_

_I can't hide_

_I can't hide_

_Yeah you, got that something_

_I think you'll understand_

_When I say that something_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_And when I touch you I feel happy, inside_

_It's such a feeling_

_That my love_

_I can't hide_

_I can't hide_

_I can't hide__  
_

_Yeah you, got that something_

_I think you'll understand_

_When I say that something_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your ha-a-a-a-a-a-and_

Rachel gaped through her hysterics, poor Kurt.

Although it was a spectacular performance.

* * *

The next day Rachel was stretching the dance studio.

After catching an early morning flight Rachel had unpacked, called Kurt, got her homework from her teachers, called Kurt, called Finn, texted Maria and was now preparing a performance to keep to her usual résumé .

She saw Jesse approach before she felt him circle his arms around her.

He kissed her shoulder before saying "How's Kurt's father?"

She leaned her head against his chest before saying "The same, Burt's in a coma. Kurt's going out of his mind; he's trying all sorts of things, medicine and acupuncture. Nothing. We've been praying for him but he's just gotten upset about it"

"Rachel, Kurt's atheist and going through a tuff time right now, you shouldn't force your beliefs on him, especially right now of all times"

"What about you?" she sighed into his neck.

"Atheist" he said kissing her head lightly "But don't worry I'll let you raise our four children in the Jewish faith" he teased and she elbowed him the ribs before walking out of his arms.

"I told you that in confidence" she glared mockingly

"And I haven't told a soul. I've just find the fact that you let him grope you so utterly disturbing that you'll have to console me. And by the way I'm going to say now that we are not naming any of our kids Fanny, they'd get bullied in school."

"Stop being such an over confident jackass. I'm not interested"

"Yet" He smirked "You changed your look again"

"Kurt gives makeovers when he's depressed."

"And angry and happy and bored and every time he wants to distract himself from something. I'm aware."

Rachel walked over to the piano and began arranging her sheet music.

"So what are you working on?" he called across the room.

"Just a new number" she grinned "I like to do something every day to keep my machine well oiled"

"Oh me too." he peered over her shoulder "I love that song…"

"Are you hinting at something St James?"

"Maybe Berry. It would be rude of you not to ask."

"Do you want to sing it with me?"

"What a lovely surprise, I guess I could manage it, if you can keep up that is."

She dragged him to the center of the room and he placed his hand on her leg.

_Rachel:_

_Ten years living in a paper bag_

_Feedback baby, he's a flipped out cat_

_He's a platinum canary, drinkin' falstaff beer_

_Mercedes rule, and a rented lear_

_Jesse:_

_Bottom feeder insincere_

_Prophet lo-fi pioneer_

_Rachel and Jesse:_

_Sell the house and go to school_

_Pretty young girlfriend, daddy's jewel_

_Rachel:_

_A change_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Rachel:_

_Would do you good_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Rachel:_

_I think a change_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Rachel:_

_Would do you good_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Rachel (Jesse harmonizing):_

_God's little gift is on the rag_

_Poster girl posing in a fashion mag_

_Canine, feline, Jekyll and Hyde_

_Wear your fake fur on the inside_

_Jesse (Rachel harmonizing):_

_Queen of south beach, aging blues_

_Dinner's at six, wear your cement shoes_

_Rachel and Jesse:_

_I thought you were singing your heart out to me_

_Your lips were syncing and now I see_

_Rachel:_

_A change_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Rachel:_

_Would do you good_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Rachel:_

_I think a change_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Rachel:_

_Would do you good_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Jesse (with Rachel):_

_I think a (change)_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Rachel:_

_Would do you good_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Rachel:_

_I think a change_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Rachel:_

_Would do you good_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Rachel (Jesse harmonizing):_

_Chasing dragons with plastic swords_

_Jack off Jimmy, everybody wants more_

_Scully and angel on the kitchen floor_

_And I'm calling Buddy on the ouija board_

_Jesse (Rachel harmonizing):_

_I've been thinking 'bout catching a train_

_Leave my phone machine by the radar range_

_Rachel and Jesse:_

_Hello it's me, I'm not at home_

_If you'd like to reach me, leave me alone_

_Rachel:_

_I think a change_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Rachel:_

_Would do you good_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Jesse and Rachel:_

_Hello, it's me, I'm not at home_

_If you'd like to reach me, leave me alone_

_Rachel:_

_I think a change_

_Jesse (Rachel):_

_A change would do you good (would do you good)_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Rachel:_

_I-I think a change_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Rachel:_

_Would do you good_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Rachel:_

_Oooh, I need a change_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Rachel:_

_Would do you good now, now_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Rachel:_

_I think a change_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Rachel:_

_Would do you good_

_Jesse:_

_A change would do you good_

_Rachel and Jesse:_

_Would do you good_

**(Link to performance on profile)**

Jesse dipped her as they sang the last line.

"That was amazing" he panted. He pulled he back up to her feet "You're amazing"

"Hey are you still coming over tonight for dinner? I'm cooking." she grinned.

"Like I would miss our first date" he smirked

"It still isn't a date"

"Admit it Berry. You're in deep Phantom of the Opera style in love with me" he teased flicking his hair mockingly.

"While you have the face totally down. I think I'll stick with Finn but thanks for the offer"

"What about me?"

"Christine goes with the Raoul Jess."

"There's a sequel" he said while she picked up her bag.

"Give up while you're ahead St James" she called mockingly as she left.

* * *

Rachel fixed her hair in the mirror before picking up the outfit that she had laid out on the bed. She changed into a white shirt tucked into a black skirt and then began the dinner.

She was checking the instructions of the cook book her father gave he when she moved to new York when it suddenly caught on fire.

She saw it and screamed. "Oh my god, oh" she threw some sparkling apple cider at the fire but it only god bigger "ahhh. Ahh" she threw another glass of cider at it and thankfully it went out. She peered into the pan nervously afraid it would catch on fire again. The dark was completely ruined. It was a dark black and was covered in a puddle of apple cider. There was a knock on the door

Rachel hesitantly opened it to see Jesse standing there with a bunch of flowers.

He spotted her as she entered and breathed "Wow. You're smokin"

"oh it's actually the duck" she stuttered

"No, no it's you" they both grinned Rachel looked away awkwardly her face flushing.

"Come in" she offered shyly before she let him in.

He handed her the flowers before smirking "Totally platonic flowers, for a totally platonic date. Maybe later you could give me the totally platonic speech about our children leading to other things"

"Thank you and would you please stop teasing me about that"

"Not that I don't totally love your perfume but it smells like burnt duck"

* * *

I really wanted to cook you dinner" she chuckled "but this is what you get" she said gesturing to the Domino's pizza box. They were sprawled out on some blankets on her apartment floor eating pizza and drinking apple cider.

"This is good"

"Pizza"

"This is good. Food is food. It's the effort that counts"

"Thanks"

"A girl has never cooked me dinner before" he smirked.

"I don't believe you" she teased

"No, no-one has ever even tried"

"Well I'm trying new things, doing new things is all part of the, you know, new me. And I like it, I like the new me. I've never been the cook a guy dinner type, I've always been the just annoy a guy for a year until he finally gives in type"

"Aww, the sweet love of Finchel, vomit never tasted so sweet" he grinned before saying "Well tell me about this old Rachel." He flirted and she smiled at him playfully "Tell me a secret"

"A secret?"

"Something you don't want anyone-else to know"

"Okay" she smiled before adding "but you first"

"Okay"

"Think of something very good" she said shifting onto her knees

"Umm. Okay so umm when I was a kid I was obsessed with Ace of Bass"

"No?" She laughed

"I was, seriously I was. I had the posters on my wall" he said indignantly

"Wait I thought you said you were straight" she teased

"Oh come on" he groaned and she laughed as he got up "Hot girls, playing all their own instruments" he picked up the bottle of cider and she held up her glass for him to pour it in "is straighter than straight"

"Thank you" she said taking back her drink

"You're welcome" he murmured before sitting down. "You're turn"

"My turn?" she gasped "Okay. Umm, I have a good one. When I was eight years old I got my first love letter from a guy called Tony" Jesse chuckled "And he was very cute and when he gave it to me I corrected all of the grammatical errors and spelling errors and then I gave it back to him" she said and he laughed

"That's so embarrassing" she laughed "I've never told anybody that before not even Finn" she grinned and his smile became a lot more intermit.

"Well just so you know, no matter how lovely this is I'm hands off. Just friends" she looked up at him through her lashes and felt herself moving closer just as she was about to kiss him the phone rang.

Rachel snapped out of her daze and quickly got up and ran to the phone.

"Hi Kurt what's up"

"My dad's awake!"

**Hi guys a Finchel break up is looming and I want your opinion on something. 1. Should I have a Finn Pov 2. Should Jesse and Rachel get together straight after the break up or should it more dramatic and 3. Should I attempt to change to an M rating in later chapters? **

**The break up will be in two or three chapters and will be gory.**

**Please review. The 50****th**** review will get a small sneak preview of the Finchel break up or if its anonymous I'll post it with named mentioned. **

**Review please. **


	11. sneak peak Finchel break up

**Hey guys. **

**Thank you ajunebuga, LadyRhoswen,** **Guest 1, Guest 2, Lynne25 and cecilyedandme. **

**As promised this is the sneak preview for the 50****th**** viewer "Guest". Thanks for being my 50****th**** review. **

**I'm not revealing the bombshell but trust me Finn being rude isn't why they break up.**

**Preview of next chapter**

_It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do_

_Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you_

_Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice?_

_Who cares baby, I think I wanna marry you_

"You love her" Finn said quietly.

"More than you could comprehend" Jesse said looking over at the sleeping girl curled up in the back seat her bridesmaid dress wrinkled and her hair messed up but she was still the most beautiful creature Jesse had ever seen.

"Dude, back off she's mine" Finn growled.

"She was never yours; she's never given herself to you-"

"We don't need to have sex to be a good couple"

"I wasn't talking about sex. That means nothing to a lot of people these days. I was talking about emotionally, she's never called you at two in the morning because she had a nightmare and wants someone to watch Barbra Streisand with her, she's never set her kitchen on fire to impress you with a home cooked meal, she doesn't curl up with you on her sofa when she's upset, she's doesn't call you every night before she goes to sleep and I bet she's never said those three words that you so desperately crave"

"You know what, fine she's a crap girlfriend, but I love her and put up with her through all her shit"

"No, you're a crap boyfriend. You don't return her calls, you don't listen to her, you haven't actually congratulated her for getting in, you constantly try to get her to come home, so she can't open up to you, you make rude comments on her clothes when yours are revolting, your overconfident and delusional about your vocal abilities and you seem to think you're out of her league which trust me is laughable to anyone who's actually left Ohio. Do you even know who Cassandra July is? If you truly love her then you wouldn't think it was shit."

"Probably just some Broadway star or something, how am I supposed to remember all her idols, she's completely shallow about it"

"Miss July is anything but Rachel's idol. She's a washed up Broadway joke, now dance teacher who makes her life hell"

"I can't remember everything about that stupid school, why should I? I have more important stuff to think about than some stupid school where Nancy boys and Broadway wanna bee's waste their fucking lives on a dream that will never come true. Rachel will be back in Ohio with me by the end of the year"

"Stop the car" a small timid voice muttered from the back seat their heads snapped around to meet the cold, glassy eyes of Rachel Berry.

**Song previews**

Give your heart a break

Marry you

Sway

Just the way you are

Agony (Into the woods)

More than words/Heaven

Love you I do

Teenage dream

Dancing through life

We are never ever getting back together **(Thank you Lynne25)**

**Cecilyedandme thank you for the idea but I have everything mapped out but it's a great idea, you should start writing because you have some great ideas. Plus the thing I love most about Jesse is that he knows how he feels about Rachel and he doesn't let her reputation hold them back. I'm weak I can't write StBerry angst. **

**From some very helpful feedback I have decided that I will leave some time before they get together but not much, there probably won't be a Finn pov but we'll see about M rating when we get to it because it will be a while. **

**It's half term in the UK so I should be able to get some writing done.**

**Tell me what you think **

**DL**


	12. A wedding, a break up and a baby?

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee, the hit men I hired to terminate Ryan Murphy were totally rubbish. Available position, good pay…. Apply on profile ;)**

**Thank you TheCdKnight, kittyloveranime and GLEEfullWICKED for your reviews. **

**Hi here it is the chapter you've been waiting for….**

**Drumroll….**

**BREAK UP**

"You love her" Finn said quietly.

"More than you could comprehend" Jesse said looking over at the sleeping girl curled up in the back seat her bridesmaid dress wrinkled and her hair messed up but she was still the most beautiful creature Jesse had ever seen.

"Dude, back off she's mine" Finn growled.

"She was never yours; she's never given herself to you-"

"WE DON'T NEED TO HAVE SEX TO BE A GOOD COUPLE"

"I wasn't talking about sex. That means nothing to a lot of people these days. I was talking about emotionally, she's never called you at two in the morning because she had a nightmare and wants someone to watch Barbra Streisand with her, she's never set her kitchen on fire to impress you with a home cooked meal, she doesn't curl up with you on her sofa when she's upset, she's doesn't call you every night before she goes to sleep and I bet she's never said those three words that you so desperately crave"

"You know what, fine she's a crap girlfriend, but I love her and put up with her through all her shit"

"No, you're a crap boyfriend. You don't return her calls, you don't listen to her, you haven't actually congratulated her for getting in, you constantly try to get her to come home, so she can't open up to you, you make rude comments on her clothes when yours are revolting, your overconfident and delusional about your vocal abilities and you seem to think you're out of her league which trust me is laughable to anyone who's actually left Ohio. Do you even know who Cassandra July is? If you truly love her then you wouldn't think it was shit."

"Probably just some Broadway star or something, how am I supposed to remember all her idols, she's completely shallow about it"

"Miss July is anything but Rachel's idol. She's a washed up Broadway joke, now dance teacher who makes her life hell"

"I can't remember everything about that stupid school, why should I? I have more important stuff to think about than some stupid school where Nancy boys and Broadway wanna bee's waste their fucking lives on a dream that will never come true. Rachel will be back in Ohio with me by the end of the year"

"Stop the car" a small timid voice muttered from the back seat their heads snapped around to meet the cold, glassy eyes of Rachel Berry.

~()~

A few weeks earlier….

_**(**_**Bold=Rachel**_**, **__italics=Jesse__**, bold italics=both)**_

**The day I first met you**

**You told me you'd never fall in love**

**But now that I get you**

**I know fear is what it really was**

**Now here we are, so close**

**Yet so far, haven't I passed the test?**

**When will you realize**

**Baby, I'm not like the rest**

_**Don't wanna break your heart**_

_**I wanna give your heart a break**_

_**I know you're scared it's wrong**_

**Like you might make a mistake**

**There's just one life to live**

**And there's no time to wait,** _**to waste**_

_**So let me give your heart a break**_

_Give your heart a break_

**Let me give your heart a break**

_Your heart a break_

**Oh, yeah yeah**

On Sunday, you went home alone

There were tears in your eyes

I called your cell phone, my love

But you did not reply

_**The world is ours, if you want it**_

_**We can take it**__,_

**if you just take my hand**

**There's no turning back now**

_**Baby, try to understand**_

_**Don't wanna break your heart**_

_**Wanna give your heart a break**_

_**I know you're scared it's wrong**_

**Like you might make a mistake**

_**There's just one life to live**_

_**And there's no time to wait, **_**to waste**

_**So let me give your heart a break**_

_Give your heart a break_

**Let me give your heart a break**

_Your heart a break_

**There's just so much you can take**

_Give your heart a break_

**Let me give your heart a break**

_Your heart a break_

**Oh, yeah yeah**

**When your lips are on my lips**

_**And our hearts beat as one**_

**But you slip right out of my fingertips**

_**Every time you run, whoa**_

_Don't wanna break your heart_

_Wanna give your heart a break_

**I know you're scared it's wrong**

_Like you might make a mistake_

_**There's just one life to live**_

**And there's no time to wait**, _to waste_

_**So let me give your heart a break**_

**Cuz you've been hurt before**

**I can see it in your eyes**

**You try to smile it away**

**Some things, you can't disguise**

_**Don't wanna break your heart**_

_**Baby, I can ease the ache, the ache**_

_**So, let me give your heart a break**_

_Give your heart a break_

_Let me give your heart a break_

_**Your heart a break**_

_**There's just so much you can take**_

_**Give your heart a break**_

_**Let me give your heart a break**_

_**Your heart a break**_

_**Oh yeah, yeah**_

"Thank you" Rachel said quietly into the microphone as the crowd clapped.

It had been about a week since Kurt had returned from Ohio and the large group was celebrating in the small NYADA karaoke bar call-backs.

Gathered around a table was Kurt, Maria, Susan, Blaine, Anthony and Anthony's new girlfriend Sasha.

Rachel and Jesse sat down between Kurt and Maria. It was getting extremely uncomfortable at the table so Rachel offered to get the next round of drinks, dragging Maria along with her.

"What do you think?"

"I think that you should be less obvious around her"

"About her!" Maria snapped anxiously

"She seems fine" Rachel said briskly

"God I wish she was a brainless slut" Maria huffed

Rachel chuckled "She's the third girlfriend that Anthony has had this week, I love the guy but he's a total man-whore. Just try to move on, save the heartbreak for someone worth it"

"Like who? Jesse's totally in love with you and he's like a brother to me, that would just feel like incest, Kurt and Blaine are both gay and I heard that Brody totally hooked up with Miss July" Rachel choked on air.

"What? Miss July slept with a student, isn't that illegal or something?"

"It might just be a rumour, Rach"

"5 cokes, two waters and a root beer please" Rachel said to the bartender before turning back to Maria "That's his business I guess, but still let's hope for his sake that no teachers find out or he'll be kicked out

"So… How's Finn?

"Finn's fine, his mom has being with Kurt's so he's been all alone in his house, I think he's been hanging out with Puck or something since he never picks up the phone"

"So you're not talking?" Maria asked hopefully

"No he calls me after glee club"

Rachel picked up the tray of drinks and followed Maria to the crowded table. She put down the try and sat down next to Jesse.

"Guys I have some good news" Kurt bounced in his seat excitedly.

"Spill Kurt" Jesse drawled boredly

"My Dad's getting married!" Kurt cheered and Rachel squealed loudly and Jesse quickly covered her mouth

"Continue" Jesse nodded

"Sorry" she muttered sitting up straight on her seat

"In three weeks. I was thinking of having a musical collaboration between the NYADA students and the New Directions for the band"

"So we get to meet Rachel's elusive boyfriend" Maria smirk at Rachel with a cocked eyebrow.

"He's hardly elusive, he was at the auditions. Freakishly tall, dopey expression and if you heard him sing you would understand the potential he has as a engineer or a bartender or even a brain surgeon but certainly not a singer, at least out of Ohio" Jesse drawled boredly.

Rachel glared at him sharply and shrugged his arm of the back of her chair.

"Okay not brain surgeon" he huffed.

"So what flowers are you thinking of?" Rachel asked leaning forwards enthusiastically.

~()~

Over the next few weeks Kurt was in full on planning mode and everyone pretty much avoided him accept for dress fittings and music planning meetings because Kurt was getting a little crazy.

Or a lot.

But it was all worth because only two weeks had past and Kurt had somehow planned a beautiful wedding that would take months if it was another planner.

The wedding was the following week and the selected NYADA students-Maria, Rachel, Jesse, Susan, Anthony, Blaine, Kurt's friends from the Fashion department Serena, Abby and Collin and of course Kurt himself- were all sitting together on a train hurdling towards Ohio like a doomed meteor.

Rachel was curled up in her chair reading a Barbra Streisand autobiography, next to her Maria was playing chess with Jesse, Anthony was snoring soundly and Blaine and Kurt were chatting away about the main musical number of the wedding.

"Checkmate" Maria cheered and Jesse swore.

"Isn't that like your sixth game so far?" Rachel questioned boredly not looking up from her book.

"Seventh" Maria smirked

"We'll play until I win" Jesse sulked.

"He does this with everything" Rachel sighed "We ended up playing trivial pursuit eighty-six times before he won on a default because I let him google the answers on his phone"

"I won fair and square" He growled as he set up the chess board.

Rachel rolled her eyes before going back to her book.

_8 hours later…_

Jesse practically carried Rachel off the train and into the waiting arms of Leroy and Hiram Berry.

"Hi Jesse good to see you again" Leroy said offering him the hand that wasn't holding Rachel up.

"You too sir" He said quickly flawlessly hiding the fact he was half asleep

"Stop showing of your acting skills, I'm too tired to put up with you" Maria said walking up behind him.

"Wow, someone's a sore loser" Jesse teased

"For god's sake no more bloody rematches" Rachel growled tiredly.

Hiram and Leroy shared a look with Burt before herding the kids into various awaiting cars

~()~

Rachel walked in to one of the small rooms in the back of the large hotel where the wedding was being held in a her deep red bridesmaid dress, matching shoes, subtle makeup and her hair in a neat bun.

She finally spotted Finn sitting in a chair awkwardly looking worried, while Santana loomed over him with an irritated expression.

"Hey" she said stepping in to the room, they looked at her and the tension seemed to slip from their faces "What are guys doing?" she questioned uncomfortably.

Santana looked at Finn before muttering "Nothing" she glared at him once more before saying "I was just leaving" she left looking back glaring at Finn one last time before strutting out.

Finn sat there dazed for a few seconds before Rachel hinted "Aren't you going to tell me how pretty I look?" she smiled.

Finn stood up and looked her up and down appreciatively he took a deep breath and said "You look amazing."

"What?" she asked gently smiling up at him

"I just really love you" he said

Rachel looked up at him and images flashed in her head of all the laughs and phone calls and the devotion and trust he'd given her in the last two months and smiled "I love you too."

She grinned and he slowly grinned back before kissing her deeply.

~()~

The music started and Finn slowly started to walk down the aisle as he sung.

**(Bold=Finn,**___Italic=Rachel)_

**It's a**__**beautiful night, **

**We're looking for something dumb to do. **

**Hey baby**_**, **_

He got down on one knee and pointed with both hands at the end of the aisle

**I think I wanna marry you.**

Rachel smiled at him and walked out singing

_Is it the look in your eyes, _

She skipped towards him stopping just before him

_Or is it this dancing juice? _

_Who cares baby, _

She twirled before allowing him to pick her off and carry down the last part of the aisle

_I think I wanna marry you._

Quinn walked out with Sam, a tall blonde guy who apparently joined after Rachel returned to New York from supporting Kurt's family. Kurt and Mercedes were dancing behind them.

**(Bold=Quinn,**___Italic=Sam)_

**Well I know this little chapel on the boulevard we can go, **

**No one will know**_**, **_

_Come on girl. _

**Who cares if we're trashed got a pocket full of cash we can blow, **

**Shots of patron, **

_And it's on girl._

Santana, Brittany, Puck and Artie were next (_**Bold Italics = all)**_

_**Don't say no, no, no, no-no; **_

_**Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah; **_

_**And we'll go, go, go, go-go. **_

_**If you're ready, like I'm ready.**_

Santana Brittany twirled the ribbons behind them as they finished the aisle

Tina came out next with Mike. **(Bold Italics=Both)**

_**Cause it's a beautiful night, **_

_**We're looking for something dumb to do. **_

_**Hey baby, **_

_**I think I wanna marry you**_**.**

Next was Susan and Anthony **(Bold Italics=Both)**

_**Is it the look in your eyes, **_

_**Or is it this dancing juice? **_

_**Who cares baby, **_

_**I think I wanna marry you.**_

Next was Jesse and Maria (**Bold=Jesse**, _Italics=Maria, __**Bold Italic=both**_**)**

**I'll go get a ring**

_let the choir bells sing __**like oooh,**_

_**So whatcha wanna do?**_

**Let's just run girl.**

**If we wake up and you wanna break up **_**that's cool.**_

_**No, I won't blame you;**_

**It was fun girl.**

The whole of the party was now dancing their way up the aisle singing **(**_**Bold italic=everyone**_**)**

_**Don't say no, no, no, no-no; **_

_**Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah; **_

_**And we'll go, go, go, go-go. **_

_**If you're ready, like I'm ready. **_

_**Cause it's a beautiful night, **_

_**We're looking for something dumb to do. **_

_**Hey baby, **_

_**I think I wanna marry you.**_

_**Is it the look in your eyes, **_

_**Or is it this dancing juice? **_

_**Who cares baby, **_

_**I think I wanna marry you. **_

They reached the alter and Burt came out

_**Just say I do, **_

_**Tell me right now baby, **_

_**Tell me right now baby. **_

_**Just say I do, **_

_**Tell me right now baby, **_

_**Tell me right now baby.**_

Carole walked down the aisle and Burt ran to walk her down the aisle.

_**Cause it's a beautiful night, **_

_**We're looking for something dumb to do. **_

_**Hey baby, **_

_**I think I wanna marry you. **_

_**Is it the look in your eyes, **_

_**Or is it this dancing juice? **_

_**Who cares baby, **_

_**I think I wanna marry you.**_

They reached the alter as the song finished to tremulous applause. As Burt and Carole turned to face each other she passed her beautiful orange bouquet to Rachel.

"Please be seated" the minister called "We usually start with a prayer, but a certain wedding planner" Everyone looked at Kurt who blushed and looked away "who shall remain nameless, was worried that some in attendance might fall asleep" Santana elbowed a dozing Brittany "So instead I'm going to let Burt and Carole tell you in their own words why they invited you here today."

Burt started "I'm not really known for having a way with words…You know when you're a kid, adults will tell you a lot of things but the thing they neglect to mention is how sad life can be… I lost somebody I loved very much, but Kurt, he lost is mom"

Rachel looked over to see Kurt crying silently with Blaine rubbing his back gently.

Burt continued, now looking at Kurt "And that killed me. You know we got by, but looking back I want to apologise to you Kurt, what we were living, just wasn't living. You know that saying 'When god closes a door, he opens a window' well sometimes out of nowhere, he'll do you one better, he'll kick a whole wall down." Everyone chuckled as Burt turned back to Carole "He grabbed me by the shoulders and he pointed me towards this women right here and he said 'There she is, go get her'. You're everything Carole, words can't describe you, you're everything and I will love you till the day I die"

Rachel sniffed loudly and Finn turned to her "I'm fine".

"Okay. I'm lucky, most women when they get married get one man, I get two. One of you saved me from my wardrobe, the other one just saved me. Kurt you are an amazing person, I'm not only getting a son, I'm getting a friend. Finn, I know you were resistant at first but I am so proud of you, I've watched you grow into a man but I think I'm most proud of you becoming a brother to Kurt" Kurt and Finn smiled at each other "We are four people becoming a family" she took Finn's hand and Burt's hand and with his other hand Burt took Kurt's. Kurt handed Burt the ring

"Okay" the minister said "Burt do you take Carole-"

"You bet I do" he cheered and everyone laughed as he slipped the ring onto her finger

"And do you Carole, take this man-"

"Oh yes, I do, yes I do" she slipped the ring onto his finger and everybody clapped as the couple kissed.

The couple took the hands of their children and led the procession out of the hall.

Jesse wrapped his arm around a sniffling Rachel.

"I always cry at weddings" she snivelled

"Good thing I leant you my waterproof mascara" Maria appeared at her side laughing.

~()~

_When marimba rhythms start to play_

_Dance with me, make me sway_

_Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore _

_Hold me close, sway me more_

Mr Schue was singing while Burt and Carole were stumbling around in an attempt at a first dance. Burt was looking over Carole's shoulder at Kurt who was mouthing instructions.

It was all very sweet.

_Like a flower bending in the breeze_

_Bend with me, sway with ease _

_When we dance you have a way with me _

_Stay with me, sway with me_

_Other dancers may be on the floor Dear,_

_but my eyes will see only you_

_Only you have the magic technique _

_When we sway I go weak_

_I can hear the sound of violins_

_Long before it begins_

_Make me thrill as only you know how _

_Sway me smooth, sway me now_

_Other dancers may be on the floor_

_Dear, but my eyes will see only you_

_Only you have that magic technique _

_When we sway I go weak_

_I can hear the sound of violins_

_Long before it begins _

_Make me thrill as only you know how _

_Sway me smooth, sway me now_

_When marimba rhythms start to play _

_Dance with me, make me sway _

_Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore _

_Hold me close, sway me more_

_Like a flower bending in the breeze _

_Bend with me, sway with ease _

_When we dance you have a way with me_

_Stay with me, sway with me_

_When marimba rhythms start to play_

_Hold me close, make me sway_

_Like the ocean hugs the shore Hold me close, sway me more_

Burt dipped Carole dramatically and everybody cheered.

_Like a flower bending in the breeze _

_Bend with me, sway with ease _

_When we dance you have a way with me _

_Stay with me, sway with me_

Everyone clapped as they finished and even some standing ovations.

"And now I'd like to introduce one of the best men, Finn Hudson" Mr Schue cheered as Burt and Carole sat down. Rachel clapped enthusiastically and Jesse grumbled under his breath.

Finn stood up, fixed his tie, walked to the center of the dance floor and took the microphone off Mr Schue.

"Best man, err right. Well I'd like to declare a toast to my mom, who is so awesome and I mean somehow without even one in the house you taught me what it means to be a man. In glee club, err whenever two of us got together, we got a nickname Rachel and I are Finchel, Rachel and Puck were Puckleberry and today a new union was formed, Furt." Everyone laughed and Kurt looked very embarrassed "You and me man, we're brothers from another mother and quite frankly no one else has showed me as much as you about what it means to be a man and over the past few weeks, some stuff's gone down and I haven't manned up like I should of. From now on, no matter what it costs me, I've got your back. Kay? Even if it means getting a slushy in the face every now and then. You put this entire wedding together by yourself Kurt, so as a thank you I had the glee club put together a little number in your honour" He walked to the table down the microphone and said "You've got to dance it with me dude"

Finn took center stage and the New Direction boys joined him.

_Oh, her eyes, her eyes, make the stars look like they're not shining_

_Her hair, her hair, falls perfectly without her trying_

_She's so beautiful and I tell her every day_

The choreography was basic and the vocals were hardly incredible but it was a sweet gesture.

The girls of the New Directions- including Rachel joined in for the next verse.

___Yeah, I know, I know when I compliment her she won't believe me_

_And it's so, it's so, sad to think that she don't see what I see_

_But every time she asks me, "Do I look okay?" I say_

Finn pulled Kurt up from his seat and onto the dance floor.

___When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change_

_Because you're amazing, just the way you are_

_And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while_

_Because girl, you're amazing, just the way you are_

Rachel walked towards Finn before grinning running back and pushing Kurt to an awaiting Finn._  
_

_Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she'd let me_

_Her laugh, her laugh, she hates but I think it's so sexy_

_She's so beautiful and I tell her every day_

___Oh, you know, you know, you know, I'd never ask you to change_

_If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same_

_So, don't even bother asking if you look okay_

_You know I'll say_

__Finn pulled Kurt into center stage and they waltz while everyone-else waltz around him. 

_When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change_

_Because you're amazing, just the way you are_

_And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while_

_Because girl, you're amazing, just the way you are_

__They stop waltzing and hug before gesturing their parents to join them.

_The way you are, the way you are_

_Girl, you're amazing, just the way you are_

Finn began waltzing with Carole, Kurt with Burt and Rachel even dragged Mercedes into a waltz.

_When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change_

_Because you're amazing, just the way you are_

_And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while_

Finn beckons to Rachel who quickly skipped over enthusiastically.

_Because girl, you're amazing, just the way you are, yeah_

Rachel smiled up at him "I love you"

"I love you too" he said, kissing her tenderly.

~()~

Rachel was sitting at a table chatting with Maria when it was Jesse and Anthony's turn to perform.

They smirked at each other before walking up to the stage.

"Shit" Rachel muttered looking up from her conversation with Finn.

"Shit is right. I think their doing agony again." Susan moaned

"It's a wedding" Rachel said indignantly

"That's why their doing it" Maria grinned

(_**Bold Italics =both, **_**Bold=Anthony, **_Italics=Jesse_)

**High in a tower-**

**Like yours was, but higher-**

**A beauty asleep.**

**All round the tower**

**A thicket of briar**

**A hundred feet deep**

**Agony!**

**No frustration mor keen,**

**When the one thing you want**

**Is a thing that you've not even seen**

_I found a casket_

_Entirely of glass-_

_No, it's unbreakable._

_Inside- don't ask it-_

_A maiden, alas,_

_Just as unwakable-_

_**What unmistakable agony!**_

_**Is the way always barred?**_

_She has skin white as snow-_

**Did you learn her name?**

_No,_

_There's a dwarf standing guard_

_**Agony!**_

_**Such that Princes must weep!**_

_**Always in thrall most**_

_**To anything almost,**_

_**Or something asleep.**_

**If it were not for the thicket-**

_A thicket's no trick._

_Is it thick?_

**It's the thickest.**

_The quickest _

_Is pick it _

_Apart with a stick_-

**yes, but even one prick-**

**It's my thing about blood.**

Well, it's sick!

**It's no sicker**

**Than you thing with dwarves**

_Dwarfs_

**Dwarfs**

_Dwarfs are every upsetting_

_**Not forgetting**_

_**The tasks unacheivable,**_

_**Mountains unscalable-**_

_**If it's conceivable**_

_**But unavailable,**_

_**Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-**_

_**Agony!**_

**Misery!**

_**Not to know what you miss**_

_While they lie there for years-_

**And you cry on their biers**

**What unbearable bliss!**

**Agony**

**That can cut like a knife!**

**Ah, well, back to my wife…**

Jesse grinned at Rachel as he made his way back to his seat.

"You couldn't refrain?" Rachel pouted

"You can't hold back true drama, Rachel"

"I'm going to the restroom" she announced and kissed Finn quickly before standing up and leaving the room.

When she entered the restroom it seemed empty, so she went over to the sink and pulled her lip-gloss out of her bag. Suddenly Santana slammed into the room and throw herself into a cubicle, not bothering to lock the door. Rachel heard the sound of her being violently sick and walked over.

"Santana? Are you okay?" she lightly pushed the door open to find Santana leaning against the toilet.

Rachel sat down next to her and held her hair back.

"What happened? Are you sick" she asked softly

"I think I might be pregnant" Santana choked through her tears.

Rachel's face turned from curious to horrified.

"Are you sure? Have you checked, with that stick thing?"

"No. I thought it was just a bad breakfast burrito, but that was two days ago"

"Okay" Rachel said getting up "come on. We're going to the gas station to get you one"

~()~

"It's been two minutes" Rachel said gently from her position leaning against the sinks

Santana looked at the white stick and in a stiff, lifeless voice answered "Positive"

"Oh my god. Santana I am so sorry"

"Don't be nice to me right now. I can't take you being nice to me right now"

"I don't understand?" Rachel murmured.

"I am so sorry Rachel"

"What did you do that could be so bad?" Rachel was getting very scared.

Santana sniffed loudly before she snapped.

"Listen here Yentl. Your sweetheart he's been lying to you, coz he and I totally got it on last year in Madonna week"

Rachel stopped abruptly. She had gotten back together with Finn at the end of hello week. He cheated on.

Finn cheated.

"If it was during Madonna week last year, then who's the father?" she asked in an emotionless voice

"Oh that's the best part. We still haven't stopped. Did you wonder where he was last night? Why he didn't pick you up from the station. He may love you but he's not ready make the commitment of ending his sex life"

Rachel didn't know what was happening but what seemed like a second later she had locked herself in a cubicle and Santana was gone.

"Rachel?" she heard Maria and let out a sob.

There was a knock on the cubicle door "Rache, can you let me in?"

Rachel unlocked the door and Maria walked in and locked the door behind her.

She sat against the door and looked at Rachel sympathetically.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

Rachel was silent for a minute before saying "I trusted her. I don't know why she didn't deserve it but I trusted her. And I really trusted him"

"Who?" Maria asked gently

"Santana."

"What happened?"

"She's pregnant!"

"Oh my god. Are you the father?" Maria teased

Rachel chuckled through her tears before saying "No he is"

"He who?"

"Finn"

"The BOPG"

"Huh?"

"Like the BFG is the big friendly giant, Finn's the big off pitch giant!"

Rachel smiled lightly.

"What are you going to do?" Maria asked gently

"I'll have to break up with him. We've been together nearly a year and he's been cheating for most of it. Besides even if I ignore the pregnancy, we won't be able to handle me being in New York and him being in Ohio with another woman's baby, who was conceived during him cheating on me"

"When are you going to do it?"

"Tomorrow. I'll let him enjoy the wedding besides Carole and Burt has been so kind to me. I won't ruin their wedding with a scandal"

"Come on" Maria said getting up from her seat on the floor "Let's fix your makeup and go back to the party"

Rachel nodded and let Maria pull her up.

~()~

Rachel sat down next to Jesse at a table and rested her head on his shoulder sadly.

"You okay?" he said gently kissing her forehead.

"I'm just tired" she lied.

"Do you want a glass of water?" he said gently stroking her hair

She nodded and he quickly got up "I'll be right back"

A minute later he was back and she downed it like liquor.

"Ready to sing. I was promised a duet remember" she smiled and offered him her hand. He accepted and led her over to the stage where Mercedes was singing 'I am a changing'.

A second later Jesse had led her onto the stage and whispered something to the musicians

(_**Bold Italics =both, **_**Bold=Rachel, **_Italics=Jesse_)

**Saying I love you**

**Is not the words I want to hear from you**

**It's not that I want you**

**Not to say, but if you only knew**

**How easy it would be to show me how you feel**

**More than words is all you have to do to make it real**

**Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me**

**'Cause I'd already know**

_How I love the way you move_

_And the sparkle in your eyes_

_There's a color deep inside them_

_Like blue suburban skys_

_I don't need to be the king of the world_

_As long as I'm the hero of this little girl_

_**Heaven isn't too far away**_

_**Closer to it every day**_

_No matter what your friends say_

**I know we're gonna find a way**

_More than words (_**words**_) __**is all you have to do**_

_**to make it real**_

_**and all you have to say**_

_**Heaven isn't too far away**_

_**Heaven isn't too far away**_

_**Heaven isn't too far away**_

**'Cause I'd already know**

_Saying how I love you_

Jesse grinned at Rachel through the applause.

Rachel saw Finn and Santana the room, Finn pulling up his zipper and her happy little Jesse bubble burst.

"I have a song I want to do" Rachel whispered to Jesse "Susan" she called and gestured to the stage

"Okay. Break a leg" Jesse said as Susan came on stage.

_(__**Bold Italics =both**__, _**Bold=Susan**_, Italics= Rachel)_

_Cryin' on the corner_

_Waitin' in the rain_

_I swear i'll never, ever wait again_

_You gave me your word_

_But words for you are lies_

_Darlin' in my wildest dreams, i never thought i'd go_

_But it's time to let you know...oh_

_I'm gonna harden my heart_

_I'm gonna swallow my tears_

_I'm gonna turn...and...leave you here!_

_All of my life i've been waitin' in the rain_

_I've been waiting for a feeling that never, ever came_

_It feels so close_

_But always disappears_

**Darlin', in your wildest dreams**

**You never had a clue**

**But it's time you got the news**

_I'm__** (**_**you're**_**) gonna harden my (**_**your**_**) heart**_

_I'm__** (**_**you're**_**) gonna swallow my (**_**your**_**) tears**_

_I'm __**(**_**you're)**_** gonna turn...and...leave you here**_

**You say, oh girl, it's a cold world **

**When you keep it all to yourself **

**I said you can't hide on the inside **

**All the pain you've ever felt **

**Ransom your heart, but baby don't look back **

'**cause we got nobody else **

**We're runnin' with the shadows of the night **

**So baby take my hand, it'll be all right **

**Surrender all your dreams to me tonight **

**They'll come true in the end**

_I'm gonna harden my heart_

_I'm gonna swallow my tears_

_I'm gonna turn...and...leave you here_

_Never in my wildest dreams_

_I never thought I'd go_

_But it's time to let you know..._

_I'm gonna harden my heart_

**We're runnin' with the shadows of the night**

_I'm gonna swallow my tears_

**So baby take my hand, it'll be all right**

_I'm gonna turn…and…leave you here!_

**Surrender all your dreams to me tonight **

**They'll come true in the end**

~()~

"You love her" Finn said quietly.

"More than you could comprehend" Jesse said looking over at the sleeping girl curled up in the back seat her bridesmaid dress wrinkled and her hair messed up but she was still the most beautiful creature Jesse had ever seen.

"Dude, back off she's mine" Finn growled.

"She was never yours; she's never given herself to you-"

"WE DON'T NEED TO HAVE SEX TO BE A GOOD COUPLE"

"I wasn't talking about sex. That means nothing to a lot of people these days. I was talking about emotionally, she's never called you at two in the morning because she had a nightmare and wants someone to watch Barbra Streisand with her, she's never set her kitchen on fire to impress you with a home cooked meal, she doesn't curl up with you on her sofa when she's upset, she's doesn't call you every night before she goes to sleep and I bet she's never said those three words that you so desperately crave"

"You know what, fine she's a crap girlfriend, but I love her and put up with her through all her shit"

"No, you're a crap boyfriend. You don't return her calls, you don't listen to her, you haven't actually congratulated her for getting in, you constantly try to get her to come home, so she can't open up to you, you make rude comments on her clothes when yours are revolting, your overconfident and delusional about your vocal abilities and you seem to think you're out of her league which trust me is laughable to anyone who's actually left Ohio. Do you even know who Cassandra July is? If you truly love her then you wouldn't think it was shit."

"Probably just some Broadway star or something, how am I supposed to remember all her idols, she's completely shallow about it"

"Miss July is anything but Rachel's idol. She's a washed up Broadway joke, now dance teacher who makes her life hell"

"I can't remember everything about that stupid school, why should I? I have more important stuff to think about than some stupid school where Nancy boys and Broadway wanna bee's waste their fucking lives on a dream that will never come true. Rachel will be back in Ohio with me by the end of the year"

"Stop the car" a small timid voice muttered from the back seat their heads snapped around to meet the cold, glassy eyes of Rachel Berry.

"Stop the car"

"I SAID STOP THE CAR" She shouted

Finn pulled over and Rachel jumped out and got her bag out of the trunk. She began walking down the street before stopping and saying "Are you coming or not Jess" Jesse quickly got out and followed her.

Unfortunately Finn followed as well "Rachel, what the hell?"

"I can't have this conversation right now. I'll meet you in the auditorium before glee club tomorrow"

"Fine" he said and stomped off.

Jesse shrugged of his jacket and covered Rachel's bare shoulders.

"Do you want to talk about it" he asked taking her hand.

"I'll tell you on train tomorrow night" she whispered brokenly.

"Something-else has happen" it wasn't a question.

"You could say that, yes"

"I'm totally here for you, I won't judge you. I'll probably judge him but not you"

She stopped abruptly and looked into his eyes, she slowly stood on her tiptoes, slit her hand into his hair and kissed him softly.

It was short and sweet and while Rachel wanted more but she was still with Finn and wasn't ready to move on fully yet.

Jesse's eyes fluttered open and he looked stunned.

Rachel blushed and said "Well this is me, I'll see you at the station tomorrow. Do you remember how to get to your hotel from here?"

"Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight" he murmured before she hugged him and ran into the house.

~()~

The next day Rachel was sat in the auditorium when Finn arrived. She stood up and walked onto the stage.

"We need to talk" she said coldly

"Yeah, we do" he muttered angrily "I don't want you hanging around with that Jesse guy anymore. I don't like how he looks at you"

"Why you've made it pretty clear we're not exclusive" she said darkly "Yesterday I was so in love with you, my heart hurt just thinking about it, and today my heart hurts but for a different reason. I know about Santana, Finn. A week after you said you wanted to be exclusive, you slept with Santana. And apparently ever since"

Finn shifted uneasily and Rachel's breath hitched.

"Oh my god, you can't even deny it" she croaked as tears slid from her eyes.

"You weren't putting out. I was alone in Ohio, you barely call and it's like you don't give a shit about me anymore"

"I call every night, I try and Skype you, I text, email and I've never stopped caring. Besides you were cheating before I left."

"Rachel can we please talk about this?" Finn begged.

"What's to talk about?" she questioned as a tear slid down her cheek.

"I'm in love with you and you said you felt the same way"

"You're acting like a child Finn throwing that word at me when you don't understand the depth of it. Or what it means to me. You can't love me and have sex with another girl behind my back"

"Well you don't love me enough to stay here"

"You don't love enough to try and stop me when I tried. I know that doesn't make sense but if you loved me then there wouldn't be a single thought about yourself in that decision"

"What? So as usual it's all about you. Who cares about the Lima loser at home waiting for you" Finn roared

"You're just the picture of devotion aren't you? Sitting at home thinking of your girlfriend while screwing the head cheerleader behind her back"

"Rachel, we can get past this. I can get Santana to get rid of the baby. Or I could say it's not mine. We don't need to break up because your embarrassed"

"Oh my god, Finn. You would kill an innocent baby for your own gain. And your mother was a single parent, you should be bending over backwards to help Santana, not discarding her like yesterday's old socks"

"Then what the hell do you want?"

"Sit down Finn, I have a song that will represent this perfectly and I think my message will be clear"

_I remember when we broke up the first time_

_Saying, "This is it, I've had enough," 'cause like_

_We hadn't seen each other in a month_

_When you said you needed space. (What?)_

_Then you come around again and say_

_"Baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change, trust me."_

_Remember how that lasted for a day?_

_I say, "I hate you," we break up, you call me, "I love you."_

_Oooh we called it off again last night_

_But oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you_

_We are never ever ever getting back together_

_We are never ever ever getting back together_

_You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me_

_But we are never ever ever ever getting back together_

_Like, ever..._

_I'm really gonna miss you picking fights_

_And me, falling for it screaming that I'm right_

_And you, would hide away and find your peace of mind_

_With some indie record that's much cooler than mine_

_Oooh, you called me up again tonight_

_But oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you_

_We are never ever ever getting back together_

_We are never ever ever getting back together_

_You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me (talk to me)_

_But we are never ever ever ever getting back together_

_Oooh yeah, oooh yeah, oooh yeah_

_Oh oh oh_

_I used to think that we were forever ever_

_And I used to say, "Never say never..."_

_Ugh, so he calls me up and he's like, "I still love you,"_

_And I'm like... "I just... I mean this is exhausting, you know, like,_

_We are never getting back together. Like, ever"_

_No!_

_We are never ever ever getting back together_

_We are never ever ever getting back together_

_You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me_

_But we are never ever ever ever getting back together_

_We, ohhh, getting back together,ohhh,_

_We, ohhh, getting back together_

_You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me (talk to me)_

_But we are never ever ever ever getting back together_

"Goodbye Finn" Rachel said before walking out.

**Okay please Review. Please**

**So many people have asked me when the break up was being written so please review.**

**Please. **

**Because if I only get like 1 review 'I might die, not literally emotionally, it'll be the kind of heartbreak girls like me hold for the rest of their lives like Barbra in the way we were.' If you don't know that quote you're in the wrong fandom.**


	13. Thanksgiving

**NYADA**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own glee**

**I'm so sorry it took me so long to update, which sucks because people asked me to update quickly I've sat down to write like a hundred times but it took a while before anything vaguely decent was created. **

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed it means so much to me. Thank you **_**act-not-think, a girl named me, TheCdKnight, kittiyloveranime, Guest, **_**other **_**Guest,**_ _**movielover97, cecilyedandme,**_ _**GLEEfullyWICKED,**_ _**mistressamy and**_ _**rock-it 97 **_**all your reviews were so nice and sweet.**

**Okay nobody said anything mean about this but I just want to say something in case anyone was upset about it… I love Santana's character and I wasn't bashing her last chapter because I see her relationship with Finn a mistake because she was about Puck's lack of interest and because she was confused about her feelings for Brittany. And her reaction to Rachel after she found out she was pregnant isn't implying that she's a bitch, it's just that she was scared and if you were in her situation you wouldn't want the girl who you screwed over comforting you. **

**In response to **_**kittiyloveranime**_**'s****point that Rachel should of broke up with because of his lack of support, that is defiantly true but I don't know about everyone else but I've been screaming that at the TV since season one and she wasn't really feeling the impact of how unsupportive Finn was because she had Jesse supporting her and Finn wasn't being really negative. Also she was already moving on in her life away from Finn and she would feel like she was abandoning him like he said she would in chapter 5. **

_**A girl named Me**_** there is going to be some Shelby and Rachel stuff in two or three chapters time. **

**Sorry for droning on…**

**On with the story. **

The day after the breakup Rachel walked out of her bedroom in the morning to find Maria sitting on the couch with a black duffel bag next to her.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel sniffed looking down at her feet.

"As your best friend it's my duty to be here the day after break-ups with rom-coms and ice cream to bitch about your ex"

"I'm vegan" she sighed with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah I didn't know they made vegan ice-cream. I had to send Jesse to sixteen different shops"

"That's sweet of him" Rachel smiled slightly

"Anyway I was thinking we have a rom-com marathon today and then we go shopping for groceries tomorrow and make at least a start on the cooking then the day after we invite the guys over here for dinner and then after that Jesse will insist on board games for hours, then a musical marathon"

Rachel's dads were going on a cruise together for thanksgiving so Rachel had decided to celebrate at NYADA instead of staying in Ohio after the wedding, Maria didn't have a great relationship with her dad or his girlfriend so she was staying with her, Jesse's parents were in Bali or someplace like it as per usual, Blaine had struggled with his parents because they didn't respond well after he came out, Anthony was staying because his family is second generation Scottish and didn't celebrate thanksgiving and Kurt was staying because his Dad and Carole were on their honeymoon. So almost all of them were staying.

_Almost all_

"It's a shame Susan couldn't stay though?" Rachel said softly as she curled up on the sofa and Maria huffed "What's wrong with her?"

"She keeps treating me like I'm odd." She complained, throwing herself down at the other end of the sofa.

"You are a little abrasive…" Rachel teased nudging her in the ribs with her foot.

"I keep it real and I can stick up for myself. She just hasn't left whatever small town state of mind she was raised with before."

"You told her that you would tear out her vocal cords if she 'got near you man'. She has reason to be worried"

"They were getting a little to cuddly for my liking"

"Still not over Tony?" Rachel enquired with a raised eyebrow.

"A break-up would be one thing but he didn't even do that, we went out for four days and then he wouldn't even acknowledge that we dated. Sort of"

"You want my opinion?" Rachel started

"Not really but if it will make you feel better you can give it"

"I think Anthony was playing you like those other girls but stopped because he saw that stringing you along any further would hurt his chances of being friends"

"Yep, that's why I don't talk about my feelings, the stuff I see sucks"

"Have you even tried moving on?" Rachel sighed "It's been like two months"

"Well I made out with the hottie with a mohawk at the wedding-"

"MARIA!"

"Loosen up, he was cute and had no intention of calling me. It did me good. Anyway I flirted with Brody, a few dancers and… Blaine"

Rachel put her face in her hands "Blaine… really?"

"I was upset and desperate. Everyone flirts with a gay guy at some point"

"Ok… I'll take your word on that. It's a shame though Maria and Tony has a very Broadway ring to it, lots of serenading possibility."

"Anyway did you kick the BOPG's really huge ass?"

"No we spoke rationally and decided to part ways"

"He cheated on you and got another girl knocked up"

"Well at least he didn't get me knocked up"

"You'd need to have sex to have a bun in the oven and your waiting to win a tony and settle down with a guy who's willing to have adorable Jewish babies" Maria finished with a childish sing song voice.

"How the heck do you know that?"

"Jesse sold you out"

"Ass!" Rachel muttered. "Now I'm thinking about it though, Finn probably didn't even knock her up, she kind of gets around, if catch my drift… And this has happened before; Quinn Fabray said he was the father when he wasn't, Santana's doing that I know it!" she exclaimed.

"Rach, I love you with all your craziness in a totally straight way, but Finn was having sex with her for months, he may be a complete moron but I'm pretty sure that doesn't make him infertile. If anything he being inexperienced probably makes him bad with protection. Besides he cheated, Rach. For months. Let him go"

"What if he's not though? What if I threw away a great guy for nothing in my rage?"

"Rachel sweetie, last year in Iowa-"

"-Ohio" Rachel cut it.

"Like anyone cares, shit theatre, loads of cows. Anyway last year in Iowa, he strung you along when his girlfriend got annoyed with him. That made him a cheater before he was even with you, then she gets knocked up and he coincidently develops feelings for you… And that makes him not only a cheater, manipulative asshole and a coward. Then they break up and you date for a week, in which you didn't actually go out on a date, or do anything even vaguely romantic, then he dumps you because he might score a threesome with a pair of cheerleaders, then when that doesn't happen he crawls back to you, so you could fawn on him and he could nurse his ego… Conceited asshole with no respect for anyone else's feelings… Then not even a week later he cheats and keeps cheating for nearly nine months… And you think that you're missing out really…"

Rachel stared at her flabbergast "How do you know all that?"

"The Goth Asian sold all your secrets after like three glasses of champagne"

"It's just that all this time I kept preparing to fail and be send back to Ohio and I want something to go home to."

"Rach look, there is no way in hell Miss Tibideaux would send you home, she won't care what anyone-else says because she sees something special in all of us and nothing's gonna stop her creating legends"

"Yeah I guess but now if I fail I'll not only will I be a Lima loser, I'll be an alone Lima loser."

"Please, nothing could keep you away from Broadway. The stage is like a magnet to you. And we both know you'd come visit me and you'll probably raise you and Jesse's ten children in New York" Rachel scowled at Maria at the end of her speech.

_An hour later…_

"This movie marathon thing isn't really working, is it?" Maria yawned

"Not really" Rachel sighed

"Okay plan B"

_Another half an hour later…_

BANG!

"THIS IS WHERE I COME TO LET OFF SOME STEAM" Maria shouted over the noise.

"IS IT SAFE?" Rachel bellowed back

"TOTALLY! JUST AIM FORWARD" Maria shrieked "MY DAD TAUGHT ME, HE WAS ETHER GONNA SEND ME TO MILITARY SCHOOL, OR A MUSICAL THEATRE SCHOOL. SO I CAN SING LIKE SARAH BRIGHTEN AND SHOT LIKE JAMES BOND!"

Rachel hesitantly picked up the small black gun and aimed it forwards towards the target.

She finger hesitated over the trigger…

'_She's an ambitious little freak, who will do anything to hold onto her power'_

'_Hey dwarf, anyone ever told you, you dress like one of the bait girls on to catch a predator'_

'_I pretty much feel like punching you every time you open your mouth'_

She released the trigger and felt a surge of power.

"Oh yeah. This is what I needed. I felt so powerless this whole time but this… this is power" Rachel cackled madly

* * *

When Rachel finally put down the gun down and grinned at Maria "I feel so much better now"

"Some girls don't see it but nothing's better to let off steam than the shooting range"

"How'd you find this place anyway?" Rachel asked.

"My dad wanted a boy" Maria said causally

"Fair enough" Rachel said and glanced at her watch "I have to go, I promised to meet Kurt for coffee but I'll see you later"

"Okay, I'll meet you to go shopping for thanksgiving ingredients at 5"

* * *

"The NYADA showcase is this week, so we're gonna spend the whole long holiday weekend just really prepping for it to make sure that I get it. Did you hear about Miss Tibideaux's decision to accept another top twenty finalist for second semester?"

"Yes" Kurt smiled slyly

"Did you put in your application?" Rachel burst

"Yes and I put it on NYADA stationary to make it stand out"

"I'm really feeling good about us staying home for the weekend, don't you?"

"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah I am" he said and Rachel laughed

"We don't have to go home because there's a show or because it's a long weekend, right?"

"Right, no I, er. Even though its thanksgiving and sectionals and all our friends are there and I miss my dad"

"I know" she said softly resting her head on his shoulder on top of their entwined arms "I miss my dads too but I just feel that every time we go home it just makes me feel sad and were not like moving forward, you know…"

Kurt grunted and Rachel continued "And even though we don't have boyfriends we still have our dreams and our ambitions!"

"And each other!" Kurt chimed in

"Yes. You are the only significant other I need in my life"

"Aww"

"I just need to Forget about Finn and"

"Forget about Blaine"

"Yeah forget about any guy who's ever broken any guy or girls heart"

Blaine had recently told Jesse and Anthony about his feelings for another NYADA student and this information reached Kurt through Rachel and he had made a move only to find out that the guy in question was actually Sebastian Smythe in the year above. Kurt was crushed and had spoken to Blaine since the wedding.

"Yeah forget about any guy, who's broken any girl or guy's heart, okay. We are on the verge of becoming the best versions of ourselves, can't you feel it?"

"For the first time, probably because it's easier just to drink your Kool-Aid than go against you" Kurt laughed "I know what you mean"

"I mean look, look where our life, look at this city. I know that it can be a little sad and lonely sometimes but I promise you we are going to have the best thanksgiving ever" She said stopping and rubbing the sides of his arms.

"Pinkie promise?"

"Pinkie promise!" she grinned

* * *

The next day Rachel was getting out the ingredients for thanksgiving dinner when there was a soft tap at her door.

She opened the door and saw Jesse holding a pumpkin pie and a bunch of flowers.

"This is why I love New York, the first bakery I went to, made Vegan pumpkin pie. Find that in Ohio Miss Berry" he grinned.

Rachel rolled her eyes "Thanks Jess" she leaning up to kiss him on the cheek and lead him to the kitchen.

She carefully arranged the flowers in a vase before placing it onto the table.

"Rach, can we talk?" Jesse sighed leaning against the kitchen counter

Rachel turned away from him towards the counter behind her and began chopping vegetables and shakily murmured "Not right now"

"I have feelings for you and I know you feel something for me too" Jesse whisper gently and pushed off the counter and walked towards her

"Jesse, I can't do this, not right now" she whispered as he gently turned her around.

"Please Rach" he begged painfully resting his forehead against something "I need to know something. Anything, about what this is. I'll wait forever if I have to, but I just need something"

There was a sharp rap against the door and Jesse pulled away and forced a smile onto his face "We'll talk about it later then" he sighed softly and went to get the door.

Rachel heard Jesse open the door and heard Maria's soft voice "Dear god, you two were alone together. If she's crying I'll kick your ass Curly" Rachel choked out a laugh. She heard Kurt's faint laugh as the trio walked into the kitchen.

Maria began making a vegan option for Rachel while Kurt began making stuffing.

Rachel felt two strong arms wrap themselves around her waist and a small kiss was placed on her forehead "I'm sorry for being a Jackass, I was upset because my parents called and I'm not good at waiting." Rachel sighed and leant back so her head was resting on his shoulder.

"That's okay. We'll talk eventually I promise, just not right now"

"Deal!" he smirked before releasing her, pulling a bag out of the cupboard and through in various different spices.

"A bag?" Kurt challenged with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, I'm telling you. You put it in a bag and self-baked. Tommy the turkey will not go dry" Jesse drawled

"Ina Garten would never cook a turkey in a bag" Kurt sniped

"Well when Ina comes to cook you thanksgiving dinner, she can do as she pleases, but our bird is getting bagged!" Jesse cheered

"Hmmm" Kurt hummed

"Guys this is so great" Rachel cooed

"Yeah, it's like our own big chill" Kurt said softly

"Rachel, get over here and help me butter up Tommy" Jesse called

"Okay, well I'm vegan so I can't eat it but I guess I can touch it" she said as she approached

"Okay Mr Turkey. I'm very sorry" she said and lightly rubbed it into the Turkey's chest "Like that?"

"You Gotta get it in there" Jesse said placing his hand over hers to guide her "You Gotta show him that you love him, you know. Just like that"

Their eyes met and Jesse grinned mischievously and Rachel grinned back.

"When you two are done using that turkey as a courtship device, would you put it in the oven, because it's almost five o'clock"

Rachel rolled her eyes and let Jesse put it in the oven.

"I'm gonna go change" she said as everyone else finished preparing the sides.

Rachel changed into a strapless purple dress, matching high heels, and a some purple jewellery.

When she returned Anthony had arrived with Blaine and everyone was collapsed on her sofa and armchairs.

She perched on the edge of the large black arm chair Jesse inhabited.

Jesse was trying and failing to convince everyone to a game of charades.

"Jesse, you have a problem. We have to fight this addiction" Maria whispered solemnly

"I'm going through a really hard time right now. A just need a board game every once in a while, It's not hurting anybody" Jesse played along adding a overdramatic sob.

"Jess, you're hurting yourself" Blaine said gently

"Plus you're a pain in the ass to everyone else" Maria said bluntly.

"You're all haters." Jesse huffed

"I feel so bad for your kids, Rach" Anthony laughed.

"No knocking Eva, Fanny, Erik, Laurey and Christine. Our children will be raised on board games and Broadway shows, they won't ever smoke, drink or play football because we'll raise them right" Jesse exclaimed defensively.

"Don't name my goddaughter Fanny, that's just cruel" Maria shuddered.

"What happened to the days when you had to date a guy before he names your kids?" Rachel sighed

"Rachel, come on. We all know it's gonna happen" Jesse smirked.

"And if that were to happen, I'm not having five kids"

"Amen, sister" Maria laughed.

"Four?" Jesse pouted.

"You'll take what I give you, mister" Rachel mocked gently poking him in the shoulder.

"Wow, your kids are going to be really annoying" Kurt mocked.

Rachel rolled her eyes and elbowed Jesse when he grinned at her flirtatiously.

* * *

A few hours, 10 board games and a thanksgiving dinner later the gang laughed as the found a booth at the unsurprisingly quiet bar 'call-backs'.

"I'll go get the usual" Jesse said sliding out of his position next to Rachel "Save me song, Rach"

"I'm going to kick things off" Blaine said and headed towards the stage.

_There's a stranger in my bed_

_There's a pounding in my head_

_Glitter all over the room_

_Pink flamingos in the pool_

_I smell like a mini bar_

_DJ's passed out in the yard_

_Barbies on the barbecue_

_Is this a hickey or a bruise?_

_Pictures of last night ended up online_

_I'm screwed! Oh well!_

_It's a blacked out blur but I'm pretty sure_

_It ruled!_

_Damn!_

_Last Friday night_

_Yeah, we danced on table tops_

_And we took too many shots_

_Think we kissed but I forgot?!_

Rachel slid over to where Kurt was sitting glaring at Blaine coldly.

"Hey, how are you doing?" she asked gently

"I want him to get hit by train" Kurt sneered

"He's in almost the exact same situation, except he's not getting comfort by his friends"

_Last Friday night_

_Yeah, we maxed our credit cards_

_And got kicked out of the bar_

_So we hit the boulevard_

_Last Friday night_

_We went streaking in the park_

_Skinny dipping in the dark_

_Then had a ménage à trois_

_Last Friday night_

_Yeah I think we broke the law_

_Always say we're gonna stop-op (woah-oh)_

_But this Friday night, do it all again_

_But this Friday night, do it all again_

_Trying to connect the dots_

_Don't know what to tell my boss_

_Think the city towed my car_

_Chandelier is on the floor_

"It well work itself out" Rachel sighed "You and Blaine, Me and Jesse, Maria and Anthony. We're just creating a hell of a lot of teen drama before it does"

"That's one way of looking at it" Kurt chuckled

"Life's one big musical!" Rachel murmured "We just had the dramatic close to the first act and now everything will sort itself out"

"Or we get murdered, depending on which musical"

_Ripped my favourite party dress_

_Warrants out for my arrest_

_Think I need a ginger ale_

_That was such an epic fail!_

_Pictures of last night ended up online_

_I'm screwed! Oh well!_

_It's a blacked-out blur but I'm pretty sure_

_It ruled!_

_Damn!_

_Last Friday night_

_Yeah, we danced on table tops_

_And we took too many shots_

_Think we kissed but I forgot?!_

_Last Friday night_

_Yeah, we maxed our credit cards_

_And got kicked out of the bar_

_So we hit the boulevard_

_Last Friday night_

_We went streaking in the park_

_Skinny dipping in the dark_

_Then had a ménage à trois_

_Last Friday night_

_Yeah I think we broke the law_

_Always say we're going to stop-op (woah-oh)_

_This Friday night, do it all again_

_This Friday night, do it all again_

_This Friday night_

_Do it all again!_

_T.G.I.F.!_

_T.G.I.F.!_

_T.G.I.F.!_

_T.G.I.F.!_

_T.G.I.F.!_

_T.G.I.F.!_

_T.G.I.F.!_

_Last Friday night_

_Yeah, we danced on table tops_

_And we took too many shots_

_Think we kissed but I forgot?!_

_Last Friday night_

_Yeah, we maxed our credit cards_

_And got kicked out of the bar_

_So we hit the boulevard_

_Last Friday night_

_We went streaking in the park_

_Skinny dipping in the dark_

_Then had a ménage à trois_

_Last Friday night_

_Yeah I think we broke the law_

_Always say we're going to stop-op (woah-oh)_

_This Friday night_

_Do it all again!_

"Ether way" Rachel grinned as Jesse slid in the booth next to her "It would totally win a tony"

"Not 'Pip Pip hurray' again" Jesse groaned and slid an arm around Rachel's waist.

"It's a musical waiting to happen" Kurt shrieked indignantly

"Andrew Lloyd Webber must be quivering in fear" Jesse drawled boredly

* * *

Rachel's eyes fluttered closed as she wrapped her fingers around the microphone and the music started.

_Regrets collect like old friends_

_Here to relive your darkest moments_

_I can see no way, I can see no way_

_And all of the ghouls come out to play_

As she poured out her heart and all she could hear was Finn's voice.

'_**I can't remember everything about that stupid school, why should I?'**_

_And every demon wants his pound of flesh_

_But I like to keep some things to myself_

_I like to keep my issues drawn_

_It's always darkest before the dawn_

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah_

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah_

_And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back_

_So shake him off, oh woah_

'_**I don't want you to go to NYADA'**_

_I am done with my graceless heart_

_So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart_

_Cause I like to keep my issues drawn_

_It's always darkest before the dawn_

'_**I have more important stuff to think about than some stupid school where Nancy boys and Broadway wanna bee's waste their fucking lives on a dream that will never come true'**_

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah_

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah_

_And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back_

_So shake him off, oh woah_

_**Rachel will be back in Ohio with me by the end of the year"**_

_And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't_

_So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my rope_

_And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope_

_It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat_

_Cause looking for heaven, for the devil in me_

_Looking for heaven, for the devil in me_

_Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me_

_**"How is that fair to me? You'll go off to New York and be a big success or whatever and I'll be stuck in Lima for the rest of my life"**_

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out,_

_ooh woaaah_

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out,_

_ooh woaaah_

_And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back_

_So shake him off, oh woah_

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out,_

_ooh woaaah_

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out,_

_ooh woaaah_

_And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back_

_So shake him off, oh woah_

She smiled as the small crowd applauded and made her way back to the booth.

* * *

_A week later… _

It had been a pretty odd week for Rachel Berry.

Pleasant but odd.

Jesse and her hadn't mentioned the awkward tension between them.

She could feel Jesse's impatience and hurt but she had no idea how they could go back to the way they were.

She knew that once she addressed what had happened, everything would change between them.

And that terrified her…

Rachel wasn't a cynic or anything, it's just as teenagers, friendships can be ruined by their overly active hormones and relationships don't last forever, friendship could.

She just… couldn't lose him.

Ever!

Three days ago she was approached by Miss Tibideaux for the winter showcase.

She understood the honour considering only one other freshman had been selected.

_Jesse St James_

Her favourite duet partner simply wouldn't be left behind. She had received hers in dance class while warming up and Jesse had received his a day later in theatre history.

Obviously Miss July didn't take the news too kindly.

After throwing a tantrum about Rachel drinking a bottle of water, she challenged her to a sing/dance-off, naturally Miss July was a far superior than Rachel in her dance skills but left Rachel unimpressed with her vocals.

Rachel had thankfully realised that if she wanted to win she'd have to rely on her vocal skills because that's what set Broadway stars apart from the ensemble.

Rachel Berry wasn't one to sit back and let someone take the spotlight she deserved.

She just wasn't quite ready for Broadway.

_Yet… _

But any teenager who assumed they could just jump onto the stage and become the next Barbra was sadly mistaken.

She needed to train.

She could do that; she'd been preparing her whole life, hadn't she…

As soon as she graduated she'd find the part that she was made for.

When she moved to New York Rachel had assumed she wouldn't need to plan her future because it would sort itself out but she was sadly mistaken.

It's a lot further to fall than before…

She'd have nowhere to go

Not Ohio

Not New York.

The stage was the only home that could ever please her.

Rachel paced backstage as she heard Alexandra's music begin. She heard Jesse jog up the steps to join her.

She spun around to see Jesse standing in a black suit, looking very handsome.

"Hey" he called

"Hey… Hi" she said softly

Jesse smirked and said "You're nervous, I am too, just remember that we're here because we're the best of the best" Rachel grinned at him "What?"

"That's very sweet, that was a very good pep talk"

"I'm a well-trained man"

"I don't know, I think I've got this, you know. Look I know I might not be a typical beauty, no-one's ever gonna pay me to walk the runway on fashion week, or I'm not gonna cure cancer, or write the next great American novel, but if you give me a stage, to sing on, I know in my gut, that there's no-one who can beat me"

"That's a little rude." Jesse teased "I just can't believe you can be so calm"

"Oh, god. I'm terrified, but… err I know who I am and I know what I'm going to do, I'm just gonna go out there, like I'm never gonna get a chance to sing again"

"Well I may not be able to cure anything ether, but I'm smart enough to know… never get in the way of a woman on a mission, so break a leg" he said taking her hand in his.

"You too." She said and gently kissed him on the cheek.

"Hey" Kurt called from the door "As sympathetic as I am to this particular act of rom-com. Rachel you're up" she look at Jesse again before running up the stairs.

"Our next performer is from the freshman class, please welcome Miss Rachel Berry" Miss Tibideaux drawled and Rachel stepped out to the sound of applause and walked to center stage, smiling at Carmen as she past.

"Hey, I'm Rachel Berry, I'm just going to sing for you…" she said and nodded to the orchestra.

_Being good isn't good enough_

_Being good won't be good enough_

_When I fly, I must fly extra high_

_And I'll need special wings so far to go_

_From so far below_

_Should I try?_

_Am I strong enough?_

_Is there time, have I long enough?_

_Gotta fly and if I fall_

_That's the way it's gotta be_

_There's no other way for me_

_Being good just won't be good enough_

_I'll be the best or nothing at all_

_I'll try, am I strong enough?_

_Is there time, have I long enough?_

_Gotta fly and if I fall_

_That's the way it's gotta be_

_There's no other way for me_

_Being good just won't be good enough_

_I'll be the best or nothing at all_

She opened her eyes to a standing ovation, there were a few cries for encores but Carmen had informed them all that no matter the reaction, there wasn't time for encores because that would be taking time away from another performer, which disqualifies you and them.

"Our next performer is also from the freshman class, please welcome Mr Jesse St James" Jesse walked out looking devilishly handsome, he spotted her and smiled gently silently congratulating her, she sent him a encouraging smile.

_Someone to hold you too close,_

_Someone to hurt you too deep,_

_Someone to sit in your chair,_

_To ruin your sleep._

He'd chosen his song carefully.

She wasn't sure whom it was to benefit. Him or her.

But he wasn't being subtle.

_Someone to need you too much,_

_Someone to know you too well,_

_Someone to pull you up short_

_And put you through hell._

_Someone you have to let in,_

_Someone whose feelings you spare,_

_Someone who, like it or not,_

_Will want you to share_

_A little, a lot._

As if he felt he was being too subtle in his feelings toward her, he stared at her gently as if to give her some unheard message.

_Someone to crowd you with love,_

_Someone to force you to care,_

_Someone to make you come through,_

_Who'll always be there,_

_As frightened as you_

_Of being alive,_

_Being alive,_

_Being alive,_

_Being alive._

_Somebody, hold me too close,_

_Somebody, hurt me too deep,_

_Somebody, sit in my chair_

_And ruin my sleep_

_And make me aware_

_Of being alive,_

_Being alive._

_Somebody, need me too much,_

_Somebody, know me too well,_

_Somebody, pull me up short_

_And put me through hell_

_And give me support_

_For being alive,_

_Make me alive,_

_Make me alive,_

_Make me confused,_

_Mock me with praise,_

_Let me be used,_

_Vary my days._

_But alone is alone, not alive._

_Somebody, crowd me with love,_

_Somebody, force me to care,_

_Somebody, let me come through,_

_I'll always be there,_

_As frightened as you,_

_To help us survive_

_Being alive,_

_Being alive,_

_Being alive!_

He received a reception as welcoming as hers but refused to look away from her.

* * *

"_And the winner of the winter showcase is… from the freshman class Rachel Berry"_

Rachel was still buzzing from her win as she stood up to leave from the small group's celebration at call-backs.

"Hey, you ready to go?" Jesse asked as he climbed down from the call-backs stage.

"Yes, please" she said sweetly

"I'll go get our coats" he said gently, a moment later he returned with Rachel's beige jacket and his black trench coat.

He tenderly grasped her hand as they walked back to the NYADA building and dorms.

A few minutes later they reached Rachel's door, she unlocked it before turning around to see Jesse leaning against the wall next to it, she side softly before cupping his cheek, reached up onto her tiptoes and daintily pressed her lips against his.

She felt him grin against her lips before wrapping his arm around her waist and kept her pressed against her by sliding his hand into her hair, he added more pressure before gently pushing her against the door.

"EEWW, mommy and Daddy are kissing!" they pulled away to find a mocking Maria down the hall. "I'm going into my room now, have fun!" she said before dashing inside.

Jesse rolled his eyes before looking at Rachel "Okay, we _really _need to talk now"

**Okay. I promise that I'm not going to cheat you all with that cliff-hanger, they are going to talk and I promise important stuff will happen. Please Review it means a lot to me.**


End file.
